As many of you know, I recently opened up the YouTube videos to comments. At first, I was so broken, I couldn’t bear the comments left by trolls and haters. Now, I’m stronger, so I decided to give it a whirl. Well, the haters and trolls haven’t disappeared. In fact, they’re back with a vengeance. One of the last ones I read was, “Way to wring every last penny from your son’s corpse.” I didn’t bother to answer because I know there’s no truth to it. I spend money to run Channeling Erik and don’t make one red cent. Still, it amazes me how bawlsy and rude people can be. Now, I don’t even bother to check the comments. It doesn’t serve me.
Let’s end the week on a happy note with this two-part series on happiness.
Me: We’re going to discuss a very uplifting topic today, Erik. What are the simplest ways to find happiness? That’s just a little bit important, huh? Maybe? Just a tad?
Erik: Just a tad.
Jamie: Well, your lovely son went right away to intimacy to find happiness.
Jamie blushes.
Erik: Knowing one’s own body.
Jamie (clearly embarrassed): He wants me to say the word, “masturbation.” (Turning to Erik) I said it!
Me: You did.
Jamie: I did. There you go.
Me: He’s always yanking your chain!
Jamie: So he’s talking about knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin.
Erik: That right there changes so much. Another simple way is to be still. Not still as in lazy, but as life is throwing you tons of decisions, tons of opportunities, take a moment to breathe. Pay attention to your breath. You’ll notice this distance between you and what’s going on. Even though it feels like a distance, you’ll find you’re more attached than ever. (Shouting) Optical illusion! Stillness helps quite a bit with the simple joys. Another way is to simply acknowledge when you’re fucking happy. We stomp on it all the time. You could be happy with the choice of gum you just made. Then you smile and go, “Well that’s stupid.” Somehow, being happy became stupid somewhere. It really sucks. Finding that shirt that really fits you or has that smell, that softness makes you smile. Just fucking own up to it.
Jamie (laughing and clapping): He’s shouting!
Erik: Just do it! And when another person comes across you, he’ll see where you’re coming from, and he’ll want to match it. Then all of a sudden you’re two happy dudes hanging out. Those are my top three.
Me: That’s really interesting. That brings up memories of my self-reflection. I had a very difficult childhood, and I grew up wondering what joy felt like. So, I’ve been in this perennial search for joy. I mean, what does it feel like? Then I realized that joy doesn’t have to be this euphoria. It can be as simple as the sun is shining today or, that tree is blossoming. What do you have to say about that? In other words, [I’m thinking that] if you want to be happy, lower your expectations.
Jamie laughs.
Erik: If you want to have a great day, keep it simple. It’s the same thing. Lower your fucking expectations. My mom’s totally right. When we talk to other people, we want to fluff our feathers to let people see how great we’re doing and everything, and then, all of a sudden, in our culture, we’ve created this different definition of joy, that it should be this total euphoria or that you should reach certain achievements in life to even be able to have joy. Like you should have so much money and be able to do this and that and that. The poorest of people can have better definitions of joy, simplicity and connection to All That Is than those who have tons, who have everything. I’m not judging. I’m not saying one is better than the other. I’m just saying that a lot of your definitions are about, “I need to have these certain things so that I can be happy.” Success doesn’t equal happiness. The perfect marriage doesn’t equal happiness. It’s generated from inside. That’s why my first three tips were all about you instead of achieving something outwardly. (Pointing his finger downwardly over and over as if making a point) So take that!
Me: Abraham Lincoln had a quote: “People are just as happy as they’ve made up their minds to be.” I guess that supports your point. Now what do you mean by “simplicity?” Let’s talk about that.
Erik: By lowering your expectations or, better yet, not having any expectations. And simplicity—
Jamie (laughing): That didn’t make sense. Hold on.
Erik: Simplicity is not supposed to include any kind of telepathic needs. Like when you’re talking with someone, and they come up to you and are like, “Oh my god, this is what happened to me today, blah, blah, blah,” and you want to share your day, too. So you sit and wait, and the person never asks you therefore you don’t share. And you go, (slumping his shoulders with a pout on his face) “Aw. They didn’t care enough to ask me. It’s always about them. It’s always about them and never about me.”
(Pause)
Jamie (looking at Erik): I’m not saying that!
(He convinces her otherwise.)
Erik: Well done, you stupid shithead. It’s not all about them. You chose to shut up and not say anything. You don’t have to play that telepathic game of, “Okay, ask me. Ask me. Ask me so that I can share.” No, you should just say, “Wow, you’re day was amazing. My day…” and then you give it to them. If you wanna share, you do it. Follow through with what you want to do. Follow through with how you feel. That makes it very, very simple. You’re not complicating things by demanding other people are telepathic to your needs or that you have an expectation of yourself or them to perform a certain way, to reach a certain level, to attain a certain joy. Just allow it to be what it is. Simple. Simple. Think simple. I’m not saying, “Think dumb” or “Think stupid.” Simple is taking away the complications and the expectations for the process and allowing yourself to react to how you feel. Ding!
Me: So you’re saying, “Tend to your emotional needs?” Is that what you’re saying?
Erik: Yeah.
Me: Well that would take knowing what your emotional needs are. How do you do that?
Erik: Sometimes knowing it comes without an explanation, without a definition. A lot of people look at identifying how they feel by putting a label on it. But simply by slowing down and letting your emotions rise above what you’re thinking, what you’re logically processing, that is going to get you to the place of identifying how you’re feeling. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a word, Mom.
Me: So it’s not about saying, “I kind of feel sad?” Is it the labeling of it? Is that what you’re talking about? You don’t –
Erik: Yeah, well some people don’t need to have a name for the feeling. If they can just connect to the feeling, sometimes it doesn’t have to be labeled at all. You don’t have to label and describe it. You can just connect to that feeling.
Me: What’s wrong with labeling it and describing it? What’s wrong with saying, “I feel sad today.”
Erik (shouting): SOME PEOPLE LABEL THEM WRONG!
Me: Oh. Give me an example of when that would happen.
Erik: My favorite example is when people are very excited because they’re about to do something that they’ve designed in their life to do. They’re all in it, and their heart is racing and their belly is turning, and they call it, “Anxiety.” They won’t even call it pure excitement and joy. Nope. Anxiety. “Ooohhh, I don’t know.” And they’ll start the worry thing. There’s nothing to worry about! Everything that they’re about to step into is what they’ve designed, and they’re about to experience it –
Jamie laughs at what he says next.
Erik: –collect all the honey.
Apparently, this came with a funny visual in his hand gestures.
Jamie (laughing): It was funny the way he did it. That’s his biggest example.
