Me: One blog member wants to know if the afterlife is boring.
Erik: No!
Me: You don’t have any struggles or anything like that, so… At least not in the way that we do. That’s why I think he’s wondering if it’s boring or not. No drama, Mama.
Erik: It’s just that you’re thinking about it from a human perspective, like people need drama to know peace or they need hatred to know love. That kind of thing is the duality on Earth, but that duality is not sustainable where we are.
Me: So, it’s not boring over there?
Erik: No.
Me: All right. Does anybody sleep over there?
Erik: They can, yeah. You can rest; you can curl up in your hammock, but it’s like, um, we have job structures and ways to contribute to the whole and still be ourselves, but it’s just not driven in the same way that it is on Earth. We don’t have to have that money thing, and that drives a lot of the stuff on Earth. Money shapes how much focus you put into your career—your work and your freedom. It fucks with your schedule.
Me: Oh yeah. A necessary evil, though.
Erik: On Earth.
Me: So, do you ever go to breakfast? Cuz remember that EVP we caught during one of the sessions a couple of years ago where you said, “Can we get him to come to breakfast?” Now, why would you say that? Were you hungry? (I say in jest, knowing that they don’t get hungry in Heaven.) Or were you just teasing Quentin Crisp because he was flirting with the other guy, and you was implying that they needed some time together?
Jamie (giggling at what he just said): Oh, Erik!
Erik: From what I understand, in the gay world, a dinner is a date, and I think it goes across any dating. Breakfast, it’s not a date. It’s a “get to know you” type of thing. It’s a safe place. Of course that’s Quentin’s thing.
Me: Oh, okay! Jamie, did you hear Erik’s voice? Did you recognize it or did you even listen to it?
Jamie: Oh, I listened to it like 4 or 5 or 6 times, but I was trying more to see if I could replicate it in my room.
Me: Okay.
Jamie: I wasn’t listening too much about what was being said or what the tone was—not until you called me one day and said, “That sounds like Erik’s voice!” So, I went back and listened to it, and in a messed up way, it does. When, like somebody mentioned that it was a Southern voice, and I think that’s where it screwed me up.
It didn’t sound at all Southern to me. Erik didn’t really have a Southern drawl.
Jamie: I heard them say that before I went to go listen, and I was trying to fit a Southern tone to it, but when I went back and listened to is when you said what you said, he has kind of that, “Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.”
Me: I know! He does—where he barely opens his mouth! And he says “breakfist” instead of “breakfast.”
Jamie laughs hard.
Me: The very end of it was distorted. The “break” in “breakfast dropped way down in tone.
Jamie: It does. It does sound like him. Made my stomach turn, cuz I’m used to hearing him this way, not through a recording.
Me: Yeah. Interesting. Well, it can’t be somebody in your room, of course, because you’d notice that, and when Quentin whispered, “I’m down with sausages,” it was like somebody whispering directly into your mic. We’d see that person doing that.
Jamie: I know! That was scary.
Me: Scary?
Jamie: Yeah, because that voice was very close to the computer, and I know for absolutely fucking sure that there was not another person in that room.
Whoa. Erik’s bad language is rubbing off on her!
Me: Well yeah. Come on. I’d have to be watching him whispering into your external mic!
Jamie: That’s messed up!
Erik (to Jamie): I know. I know. You’re not a fucking fan of phenomena.
Jamie: I know. I get it everyday with my own eyes and my own ears, but I don’t need it when you guys do the whole phenomenon (EVP) thing. It’s kind of spooks me a little bit.
I chuckle.
Jamie (to Erik): So, just keep doing it for your mom and all the other people in the world. Keep me out of it.
Me: Well do you ever—oh, that’s right. You’ve pranked Jamie a couple of times.
Jamie: Oh god.
Me: Okay, remember when you said you were going to give Jamie a hug after each session? Do you do that? Has he stuck by that, Jamie?
Jamie: No!
I huff in mock disappointment and Jamie laughs.
Me: Just to balance out the pestering side of you.
(Pause)
Jamie (laughing): I pointed at him and said, ‘Liar!’
Me: Uh oh.
Erik: Those are fighting words!
Jamie: But you know what he has—oh!
(Long pause)
Jamie: I’m sorry. I was asking him questions because I just thought of something. In the last one or two weeks, he’s started, um, at night before I go to bed, I do this meditation visualizing white light and surrounding myself with it. Then I do it for my husband and for my kids and my friends and people that I feel need it. The last one and a half to 2 weeks, Erik has been there.
Me: Hm.
Jamie: And he’s been helping me stay chill, stay true. I always ask that I stay true to my work and, you know, as Erik puts it, “On the fence”—
Hm. I think Erik has the phrase wrong. He mean “On a stable course” or something like that, cuz the other one means not having committed to a decision (as you guys know).
Jamie: —leave my agenda out of my messages and my ability to listen and communicate, and Erik’s been there to help out. So I wonder—and I just asked him, ‘Oh my god! You were there because you work on your mom at night, too.’ So, I asked him if that was a habit thing. He says that he checks in on a lot of people, his family and so on, but he doesn’t make a scene every time he does it.
Erik: Yeah, cuz I don’t need to be patted on the back for coming to take care of my family. That’s bullshit. I don’t want anything from it.
Me: Of course not. So why have you been checking in on Jamie?
(Pause)
Me: To see what she looks like without makeup?
Erik: That’s today.
Jamie (giggling): Yup.
Erik: Mom, I’ve been in the habit of going to you every night, because that’s what I was gifting you for Mother’s Day.
Me: Uh huh. I remember you saying that.
Erik: This two months of cleansing and healing, helping you. So, I started to see how valuable it was.
Jamie: He just caught me one night while I was doing my work before I go to bed, and he was interested in it. He watched it a few times and once he found out I do sort of the same thing that he does for you, he started helping.
Me: Helping?
Jamie: Yeah, because when I did it last night, he actually said hi to me.
Me: Aw.
Jamie: I was like, ‘I know you’re there. Don’t think you can sneak in!’
I laugh.
Jamie: But, he’s not loud when he comes to see me; he’s not the center of attention. He’s just real quiet.
Me: You don’t find that a little creepy?
Jamie: No. No, because I’m focused on it.
Not a big “BOO” surprise, I guess.
Jamie: And I know who he is, so it doesn’t creep me out. It would creep me out if he—not like if he was going to prank me or something, but he just has this real peaceful f ace on. It’s just you can tell that he’s coming with a white flag. He’s not doing anything.
Me: He’s just observing.
Jamie: Yeah.
Me: Okay. A peaceful observer.
**************************
Dear Reader,
The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
Love and light,
Elisa
