Lately, I’ve been a little down. As many of you know, I have devoted my life to the blog even so far as to retire from Medicine. The advantages are as follows: It gives Erik a voice so that he can follow his calling, sharing wisdom, insight and love to all of us. It also brings me close to Erik since I have near weekly conversations with him. Finally, it has allowed me to create a book, the sales of which will hopefully go to creating a nonprofit organization designed to help those who grieve over the loss of a loved one. This has been my dream all along. The only way I can fund that organization is through the profits of the book since I refuse donations or ad revenue. On the other hand, this has been a very expensive undertaking. Having given up my profession makes it even more challenging. Also, although on one hand working with Erik has given me a happy connection with him, interacting with him on a daily basis by having these sessions, transcribing them, and posting them constantly also makes me aware (painfully aware) that he is no longer here with me in the physical. It has prolonged my grief in a way. I know that sounds confusing.
According to my publisher, book sales indicate that not many of our 12,000 members have bought the book. At ten pucks a pop, that would give us a great start to funding the nonprofit that, as I said before, is my ultimate goal and dream. Given the numbers, unless things change, that dream will never be realized.
Another factor that’s got me down is the lack of support. For example, in the recent polls, we’ve had 3 responders in one and 26 to 30 in the other two. Same thing with the Bloggies voting. Only 120 voted out of around 12,000 members. I know how complicated the Bloggies voting is, though! I guess what I’m saying is I often don’t feel supported, and I’m weary from carrying all the weight.
That said, I am at a crossroads. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Do I continue the blog given its expense and other disadvantages? I don’t expect everyone to buy a book. For some, ten dollars is more than they can afford. I understand, because the cost in money and emotional resources for me is great as well. Almost too great. So what do you suggest I do? Do I trudge on or continue. If you say I should continue, why?
Enough venting. Here’s today’s post.
Before this session, I had the epiphany that I rarely ask Jamie about herself, her gifts and her relationship with Erik. Now it’s her turn to take the mic.
Me: Erik, how are you guys getting along? Do y’all still like each other?
Jamie: Who?
Me: You and Erik. Erik, do you guys get along of do you or do you pester her to death?
Jamie: He’s pulled a few pranks. For me he knows the apple thing really my goat. I guess I talk about it too much, and he does that, and he’s gotten my daughter to say it a few times for like five or six minutes in a row. A ridiculous amount of word repeating that she’s never done before.
To give you the backstory, when Jamie was in a session, Erik kept saying “apple” over and over again. Eventually, he must have told her daughter because she started repeating the word from the back seat of the car.
Me: So you guys are friends. Do you get along really well? How does that work?
Jamie (giggling): As long as Erik’s nice to me we get along great! He did grab my boobs in the channeling the other day, and I told him that shit has to stop!
Me: Yeah, he has to stop that! That’s not good!
This happened when Jamie was trance channeling Erik, meaning Erik takes over her body and uses her as a puppet/mouthpiece.
Jamie (to Erik): See, Erik. Even your mother agrees.
Like I wouldn’t?
Me: Yeah, don’t do that! It’s called boundaries! So how did the channeling go?
Jamie: I heard it went great! He talked about race and loving other people, and Amy said that he went directly into questions and made it more like a question/answer forum.
Me: People love that.
Jamie: Yeah. Amy was really excited. She’s like, “He was really good. He didn’t waste time talking about stuff. He just kept pumping through the questions.”
Me: Oh, good!
Jamie: No, Erik’s, um, today is a great example. I’m so impressed by how he’s able to take stuff that’s so above our heads and make it so easy to see and understand.
Me: Yeah, like when he talked about that swing thing. Amazing! That was so cool. I wish I could do that.
Jamie: Ditto.
Me: Okay. Here’s one from someone: “I was also curious if maybe Jamie can explain what it feels like to her. When I’ve channeled, I’ve heard voices coming from various areas in my head as if my brain is an antenna, and I’ve noticed that white noise amplifies it as well. It was easier to channel in the shower or whenever the heater was on. Strange. Sometimes I’ve heard spirits on the right side of my head and sometimes on the top. Occasionally my head burns like it was on fire, too. So, is that common?”
Jamie: Yeah, none of that is strange. Poor thing. None of that’s strange! For me, cuz I do different kinds of channeling, like when I talk to Erik, I see him kind of out and in front of me.
Me: Mm hm.
Jamie: That gives me the impression that I’m talking to a regular person. So, I treat him like a person.
Me: Mm hm.
Jamie: And we have a conversation that’s similar to that. But the way I hear his voice, it’s kind of just on the outside of my ear. The thing that freaks me out sometimes it’ll, you know, just be in the left ear and sometimes just in the right ear and then sometimes like somebody is in the room with me. It’s like surround sound like I’m talking to someone that’s sitting in a chair across from me.
Me: What is it, usually?
Jamie: With Erik, it usually just sounds like there’s somebody in the room with me, like surround sound, but when he starts doing the pictures, the way that he gives me images, I kind of feel handicapped, like my whole communication shuts down. I’m immersed into a photograph. It’s not like, “Here, look at this picture,” and then putting it in my lap. It’s, You’re now IN the picture.”
Me: Wow. So it’s not captured in your head? You see it all around you, or…
Jamie: Yeah. It’s like it’s everywhere. Remember that one time? I don’t know what the question was about, but I remember the visual was everything was black and there were these rings of color.
Me: Yeah, and it was like a planetarium?
Jamie: I think of that image quite frequently because it was so real, I felt like I could reach out and touch something.
Me: Oh, man!
Jamie (chuckling): So he takes advantage of that, and then, um, I don’t know. Just—
(Pause)
Jamie (to Erik): No?
(Pause)
Jamie: Erik said to talk about how there’s no lag time.
Me: Mm hm.
Jamie: From when he talks and I speak.
Me: Yeah, how does that work? Does it just pour into your brain and out of your mouth? (I chuckle)
Jamie (chuckling): That’s decades of practice.
Talk about multitasking!
Jamie: People can do auctions, you know. (Jamie mimics an auctioneer.) They just talk so fast, they don’t know what the hell they’re saying. For me it was just practice. Learning how to ride a bicycle. You’re hearing somebody say it. He says, “I”; I say, ‘I.’ He goes, “I am riding a bicycle.” I’m always trying to be one word behind him, and it’s why often I can’t remember that I’ve said the sentence, “I am riding a bicycle,” because I’m just so busy focusing on the one word coming after the next word that I can’t put it in context. So sometimes that’s why I’ll pause and say, ‘Does that make sense?’ Because I haven’t totally caught the picture at all.
She actually does that from time to time.
Me: That must take so much focus!
Jamie: Sometimes it really does. But then there are days when I find that if I’m not thinking of it so much, it’s easier to repeat it so fast.
Me: Do certain things help like white noise, getting yourself into a special brainwave state, something like that?
Jamie: For me in this stage, not so much anymore. My teacher who taught me, she would put me in the middle of the room or she would take me to a park with a lot of noise and action and people interrupting and she’d tell me, “The world is not going to slow down for you. You need to know how to work in it.” So I guess from the beginning, I never found that little ritual or that thing that helped me and so often, I guess on the backside, if it’s too quiet, it freaks me out. I’m used to the sound, you know, having something happening or being able to multitask while something’s going on.
A typical mother skill. Boy, she’d really love channeling in my noisy house.
Me: Do you have any sensations like this lady who said her head burns sometimes?
(Pause)
Jamie: Erik and I are chatting. Sometimes he’ll make my ears burn really hard and they’re red. They’ll turn candy apply red. You can touch one ear compared to the other and you can feel like one’s been on a heater. Sometimes I’ll get extremely cold, my whole body, and so I’ll need a blanket. Or sometimes I’ll sweat. I’ll stand up after a reading and I’ll have sweat all over the front of my t-shirt, but it’s my belly that’s sweated. It makes no sense for you belly to sweat.
Me: I know! It doesn’t.
Jamie: It’s a weird thing.
Me: Is it a blessing or a curse for you?
Jamie (giggling): Erik just shouted out, “It’s both!”
Me: I figured.
Jamie (laughing): With Erik, yeah, I’d say, yeah, it’s both because he comes to my house and screams “apples” at me!
We both laugh knowingly.
Me: You gotta stop that, Erik! So, is it more a blessing or a curse?
Jamie: Um, if I had to pick one or the other I’d have to say it’s a blessing, because I don’t have the fear of death; I don’t have the fear of being apart or separated from my children or my parents through death or through travel, because I know that whatever happens I’ll still have that communication and that link. It’ll change, you know, but it’ll still exist.
Here’s an extra goodie that I got from Victor Zammit’s site. (I really recommend you sign up for his Friday Afterlife Reports. They’re absolutely fascinating. Sign up HERE. It’s completely free.
The Brain is a Reducing Valve
Dr. Stanislav Grof, M.D., is a psychiatrist and one of the leading researchers into non-ordinary states of consciousness. He has a theory of consciousness based on ‘non-ordinary states’. It assumes that consciousness exists as an electromagnetic field outside the body. The brain functions as a “reducing valve” which reduces the amount of input of the cosmic energy that our brains can cope with. When the reducing function is altered (through various triggers such as drugs, psychosis, psychic ability, etc.) or even shut down completely (producing a NDE), the cosmic energy and input that once made up our consciousness is then free to expand.
