Leggo My Ego

And we have a winner! Congrats go to Phoebe Jamieson who guessed that Erik’s favorite clothing was suit and ties. I know. Weird, huh? Sometimes he would dress up in one, wear a fedora and walk around the house. No place to be, no place to go. Phoebe, send me you mailing address so you can get your prize. And, no, it doesn’t come with a hunky cabana boy. (We’re saving those for us, right Iola?) Now for those of us who think we’re entitled to a cabana boy to stroke our egos, this post’s for you.

Me: Does the ego have a purpose?

Jamie: Does what have a purpose?

Me: Ego.

Jamie: Oh, ego. I thought you said evil.

Me: No, ego. Amuse our audience. Leggo my Eggo.

Erik: Eggos have a purpose for breakfast.

(Long pause)

Jamie (to Erik, sighing): Sit down!

(Long pause)

Jamie (to Erik): Or stand still!

I chuckle.

Jamie: I’m sitting on the couch because I didn’t want him to mess with the computer.

Me: Good call.

Erik: Ego has a place. We cannot live without ego. This whole talk about how you should have less of an ego or have none at all — that’s bullshit. You can’t have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without having peanut butter, cuz it would be a jelly sandwich, and that makes no sense to me.

Jamie and I giggle.

Erik: Okay, so you can’t have your self without an ego. The ego is part of the recipe that lets you feel—


Jamie (to Erik): I don’t understand that. Confidence or independence?

Erik: The ego let’s you feel independent.

Me: It creates [the illusion] of separation from the whole? I’ve heard you say that before.

Erik: You have to have a small dose of that because, when we’re trapped in a human body, the way that we tend to learn is by knowing what we’re not so we can know what we are.

Wow. Profound!

Erik: That whole duality that we spiritually get to escape from? You have to crawl through that shit when you’re in a human life, and the ego part of it is necessary to understand what unity is. To get rid of it is bullshit. You don’t need to live in it constantly. That’s no good.

Me: Well, I guess you have to be separate to be able to play roles with and against each other to get the duality that helps us remember who we are.

Erik: Yep. We should have it now where it’s “Ask Mom.”

Me: (laughing): Oh, yeah. Right. I’m really hungry for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some Eggos, now.

Jamie giggles.

Erik: It is breakfast time. For those of you who don’t know, we wake up early to do this shit.

Me: Tell me about it. Jamie doesn’t let me get past one cup of coffee.

Jamie (laughing): Nope.


Jamie: He’s not sharing anything more about the ego.

Me: Well, why does it sometimes get out of control? What’s the difference between the—I won’t so negative—but the ego gaining control of the—

Erik: The ego gaining control of you. It shows up when it gets triggered, so –

(Pause, then Jamie shakes her head)

Jamie: Strange visual. He’s giving me the image of driving a boat in the ocean.

Erik: There are times while you’re in the ocean, and you don’t see any wildlife, no fish, nothing, and then you come across a school of fish. You react to it differently.

Jamie: He’s calling the school of fish like the moments when you’re being triggered and your ego pops up while  the rest is a kind of cruising where there are no fish—You have to pay attention to that ego. I have no idea why he came up with that kind of image. He doesn’t give me a backstory to it.

I don’t either. In retrospect, I wish I had asked. Maybe I had hypoglycemia from an Eggo deficiency.

(Long pause)

Jamie (shrugging a shoulder): Hmm.


Jamie: I think Erik needs coffee today.

Me: I think he does!

Erik: Talk to me about simple shit, and I don’t mind!

Me: I’m sorry! We’ll dumb it down for you.

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Elisa Medhus

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