Yep, we all have ’em. Some are  fulfilling, some are harrowing, and some suck the emotional energy right out of us. Nevertheless, they all provide valuable lessons. 

Me: Why do some of us repeat the same destructive patterns over and over again? I mean, you see it out there—the woman that chooses men who abuse her, those who keep getting into drugs—

Erik: Oh, my god, it’s so hard to watch and so tiring. I’ve been there myself. And when we see this play out, we want to scream, “Don’t you get it?” but that’s the point. They don’t WANT to get it. We just have to sit and watch. It’s painful to see, no matter what side of the veil you’re on.

(Pause)

Me: Why? Why do they not want to get it?

Erik: I dunno. You’re gonna have to ask ‘em, because everyone is extremely different. There’s not one big general contract that says, “Be stubborn and never wake up.”

Me: So I guess each one will have to figure it out for themselves, hopefully with the help of friends or guides or someone. Okay, why are so many couples struggling in their relationship?

Erik: Cuz there’s this huge pressure and idea that you find somebody, you marry them, you stay with them for 80 years and you die together.

Me: Well, yeah, I thought that was the point of “Until death do us part.”

Erik: Actually, humans aren’t put together to be monogamous for an entire lifetime, at least not in all cases. We’re really put together to be monogamous with a partner as long as the relationship is successful, loving and inspires spiritual growth, but at the same time we’re put here to have connections with other people. I don’t know if you want to put marriage into it or out. Marriage is kinda structured for government reasons. It’s not necessarily about love. Look at the Greek times. Everybody had a wife and a husband, but then you also had your lover, you know, and that lover could have been married to somebody else.

Me: Yes, and homosexual relations were common and completely acceptable too. I guess boundaries didn’t really exist when love or lust was involved, but I don’t know.

Erik: Now that was the real 60s back then. The Greeks were really promiscuous, for sure.

Me: Are some of our relationships temporary because the spiritual contract with that person has been satisfied?

Erik: Absolutely. It’s like, “Okay, you brought these children, these souls into my life; we’ve worked through these issues, and now we are meant to be with somebody else.” But people want to just beat the shit out of themselves, because they’re not hitting the mark that society says they have to.

Me: Yep. God, society sucks sometimes!

Erik: Yeah, it’s completely outdated. So what I say—BOLD PRINT—Love who you need to love.

Me: Wow.

Erik: And the way that you need to put a boundary on it is you do it with respect. You know, you don’t just marry someone and have an affair. That’s not cool. But if you’re married to someone and you go, “Hey, I also like this person,” and the marriage is comfortable with that and you have that lover on the side like they did in the Greek days, then hell yes. I know that’s not gonna be the norm, but the only way it’ll work is if you have boundaries based on mutual respect. That’s all I’m saying.

Me: God, Erik, we’re going to get our heads handed to us on a platter with this.

Erik: I know, there’s gonna be that talk, “Oh my god, Erik thinks we should all be swingers,” but that’s not it at all. I’m saying be with who you love. Don’t stay in a loveless relationship where the contracts may have already been completed. And no matter what relationships you have, it’s all okay if you have mutual respect.

Me: Still, people can interpret things in their own way so the message could get distorted.

(How timely is this part of the conversation!)

Erik: Not a helluva lot you can do about it, Mom.

Me: Okay. (Sigh) Let’s see if I can squeeze in one last question. It seems a lot of people are at a loss as to how to complete their time here on the earthly plane. Has this been the case throughout history, Erik, or is this something new because of our technology bombarding us with information and the fact that so many possibilities are available to us now that we don’t just spend our time and labor on simple survival?

(Pause as Jamie listens)

Erik: In other words, you mean how marketing really sucks, because they feed us “food” we don’t wanna eat?

Me (chuckling): Yeah, that could be part of it I guess.

Erik: If we just ditched marketing altogether and followed our intuition of what we’re attracted to, then everyone would feel really satisfied. We need to be informed, that’s one thing, but when we’re indoctrinated to ignore our intuition and accept external influences instead, that’s not cool.

Me: In a way, things were so much simpler when we just had to survive—forage for food and shelter. The joy of simple survival. Now it’s so hard to find joy, because we’re like, “If I buy this car, they tell me I’m going to have joy,” If I go to this resort, they say I’ll have joy,” etc. It hard to determine for ourselves just how to find joy, and that’s always on the inside. No billboards there.

Erik: True, and we get so busy looking and comparing that we actually don’t have any downtime to go inward.

Me: Yeah!

Erik: Whatever happened to sittin’ on the front porch and having sweet tea?

(I’m thinking Long Island iced tea, but okay.)

Me: I know, and I’m so guilty of not taking that sort of time to just chill. Although I remember so many times sitting with you on the back porch talking and talking and talking. Remember that old beat up pink leather couch we sat on?

Erik: Oh yeah. Nice times together, Mom.

Me: Yeah. Well, I guess that’s it, Sweetie, at least until next time.

Jamie: He’s blowing kisses!

Me: Aw, bye, Sweetie! Now that you’re all dressed up, go out on your hot date and no more sneaking around the ladies locker room!

Erik: Damn, I hadn’t thought about that!

Me (laughing): Oh, sure!