Erik on Relationships: Toxic, Romantic, Platonic and More

Well, you guys win. So many people have been hateful about my expressing my personal political views on my PERSONAL Facebook page. I now have to make yet another sacrifice by giving up my freedom of speech. I’ve sacrificed my son, I’ve sacrificed a 6 figure income as a physician, I sacrifice a portion of my family’s budget, and I sacrifice 14 hours a day of my time to help others. The spew of criticism and vitriol and the overly sensitive feelings is too hurtful and frankly annoying for me to continue to express myself. That doesn’t mean I’ll never express my political views, but I will curtail this drastically if not eliminate it altogether. I think that’s it. There’s not much else left for me to give away. This also means all requests for topics that might have anything to do with politics must be denied. No more conspiracy theories, channeling the Higher Selves of leaders, yearly predictions, etc. I do have questions lined up for our session on Civil Rights. I hope to god that one doesn’t get misinterpreted. 

One more thing, I’m leaving for Norway early in the morning, so I request that you not send any Facebook private messages, emails or comments you want me to see and answer until I return June 24th. First, I really do want to have a real vacation. Second, we’ll be in a little cabin up in the mountains above the tree line where Internet is spotty and expensive. I can’t consume much data. I will try to post YouTubes, though, but not blog posts. We will continue to have the radio show every Tuesday. 

I’m going to miss you guys! Enjoy today’s video courtesy of medium, Lovely Vinod. She’s our new, up-and-coming medium, and I really like how she interacts with our boy! Check her out at 

Me: Hello Lovely! How are you doing?

Lovely: I’m doing good Elisa. How are you?

Me: Good! Hi Erik and I love you of course.

Erik: Hi mom! I love you so much.

Me: All right great! So let’s start out you reintroducing yourself to the peeps and telling us a little bit about you Lovely. Vinod? How do you pronounce your last name?

Lovely: Lovely Vinod. Vinod is actually my husband’s first name.

Me: Okay!

Lovely: In India, I mean in South India, post marriage, if you we want we can add the name.

Me: Cool!

Lovely: Yeah, so it’s Lovely Vinod and for the viewers, I am a psychic medium, which is all because of Erik. I started channeling, I learnt how to channel, everything because of Erik. I found channeling Erik and slowly I started realizing that I do have gifts or discovered that I have gifts and Erik helped me embrace them. So now officially I have a website which is . So now, I am doing it professionally and it’s been around a year that I started doing it.

Me: Great!

Lovely: That’s what I do! Do you want me to tell the viewers how I channel?

Me: Well! Can you tell how you met Erik first and then you can do that. Now what is your website again?

Lovely: It’s

Me: Like in for India. Got it!

Lovely: So I found Erik through a YouTube video that Jamie was channeling, when Jaimie Butler used to channel Erik. So, that was like one of the worst phases of my life. I was in deep depression. I was feeling all sorts of low emotions, to say so. I was physically getting sick because of depression. It was almost like melancholy, you know, that immense sadness and I was suicidal. That was something that I was constantly struggling with and I had a baby, I had a daughter too. Now she’s eight but this was around 2016. So I was trying to find something that would give me some peace. Something that would relieve me of that pain, that I was feeling 24by7, which was hard.

Me: Oh! Do you think that, part of that melancholy came from just not being on your spiritual path?

Lovely: Yeah, now when I see, I’m thankful for it because that lead me do what I’m doing right now.

Me: Yeah.

Lovely: But when you are going through that, it doesn’t make sense.

Me: Oh it’s horrible.

Lovely: You know it right!

Me: Yeah I know.

Lovely: So I was browsing continuously to find something. And I always liked everything paranormal. As a child I was not a gifted child but I was like those kids to whom if someone says there’s a haunted house, let’s go see. I would love those things.

Me: Yeah.

Lovely:  But internet came when I was in college so I started browsing

constantly the whole day for any video on self-help spirituality. At that

time I didn’t know there’s something

called spirituality or spiritual awakening or channeling. So I used to see everything I could so that, that constant mind chatter would

stop. That’s when I found Erik’s video one day and Jamie was channeling and it was mesmerizing. Every single word that Erik said resonated deeply.

Me: What was he talking about? Which video was it?

Lovely: I don’t know because I must have seen maybe all video suggestions. I used to have sleepless nights, which was terrible, so I used to watch these videos so that it wouldn’t haunt. I used to watch until 4:00 in the morning or something like that. It was almost like your friend was talking to you, you know!

Me: Yeah right.

Lovely: I don’t think anybody who sees his video and gets to know how he speaks can keep from falling in love with what he says. Everything resonates and he makes sense. He is not like woo woo spiritual stuff.

Me: No no he’s not like “Welcome my dear ones!!!”

So did he ever prank you or visit you?


Lovely: Actually when I started following the blog he never did, although I saw dragonflies.

Me: Oh yeah!

Lovely: I still have it on my Facebook page. The cover is a huge dragonfly. It’s actually a pendant that my sister gave me because she knows what kind of relationship we have with Erik.

Me: Aww!

Lovely: It still makes me really happy when I find dragonflies. Other than that, I’ll share this prank that he did once. I had these headbands with red horns that you wear in parties. I had kept in my wardrobe and it used to be very visible as soon as you open the door. So it’s funny that every time I would open this door, it will be switched on. Then I would switch it off because it’s battery-operated so there’s a small button that you twist and I would switch it off and keep it. I thought maybe it’s getting stuck between the doors or something, but then it happened around 20 times. That’s when I noticed really and I was really happy.

Me: That’s Erik. Hey what about me Erik?

Lovely: I almost felt like I got the Oscars.

Me: They really love you Erik! Ok, so we are going to talk about relationships’ but can you quickly tell us how you work as a psychic medium? What are your clairs and things like that?

Lovely: I am a medium and I channel for people. I channel their loved ones and I also channel intergalactic beings. That’s another interest of mine. And one thing that I also do is, I channel light language.

Me: Oh like Linda Hack, that’s cool!

Lovely: Yes exactly! Linda was the one who told me that I was actually

channeling light language. Other than that I am clairvoyant and clairaudient. I do automatic writing and I’m also claircognizant and clairsentient.

Me: All the clairs huh!

Lovely: (Laughing) I don’t see spirits though. I don’t see Erik like I see you. But I do get visuals.

Me: Oh Wow that’s so cool! So when you were a child did you see dead people or anything?

Lovely: No no! That’s something that’s been a learning for me because I used to think  I can never do these things. I used to look at Jamie and think, Oh wow! I wish I could do that!

Me: Everybody can. Some people take a lot longer and a lot more work.

So Erik you wanna get started on with talking about relationships

Erik: Yes.

Lovely: He’s rubbing his palms.

Me: He does that a lot. Okay the first thing I want to ask you is how do you pick a good romantic relationship? For example, what do you look for?

Lovely: He’s talking about couples now.

Me: We’ll talk about other relationships too.

Lovely: Okay.

Erik: Yeah Mom it doesn’t start as in exactly like a romantic relationship okay! How we end up liking somebody as in a romantic couple situation, we almost are constantly searching for all the missing pieces in us.

Me: Wow Yeah!

Lovely: He’s giving me goose bumps.

Erik: It’s all about the heart chakra and what we crave. Yes it’s different in different people. A person who has never experienced that fatherly love, might look for a person who is, you know, keeping them safe or has that security, that fatherly kind of love, you know. Who’s got their back.

Me: Is that good or should you be able to find that within yourself? Is that enabling or is that the way it’s supposed to happen?

Erik: It’s not good or bad Mom. It’s how it works. It’s how you end up liking a person because that’s your void inside you. That’s how we find people.

Me: Yeah!

Erik: And that’s why all the pain because sometimes you try to find that and you realize that, that’s not what you got.

Me: Right! And then you have to learn, well wait a minute!  or you should learn. I can’t look for these things outside of myself. They’re all within me. So maybe that’s a spiritual contract. Sometimes you know you like this person for the fatherly love , he treats you very wrongly. Didn’t work out! So it’s like I gotta be the father and nurture myself.

Erik: Yes and that’s when self-love and all those things come to play.

Me: Yeah! So Erik how should we really pick them? What should we look for? To me, it’s like, relationships should be with those who encourage you to become the best version of yourself and who let you be you. What do you say?

Erik: It actually doesn’t work when you’re trying to find somebody, when you’re looking for something outside of you, just like how we were talking about self-love. So the key for every relationship is self-love. It’s very difficult when you have a traumatic childhood or growing up you’ve never been that confident person because you never had that nurturing relationship in your family so things are messed up. So it’s difficult but, the universe works that way. When you are feeling that abundance in you, you might end up finding some person, who might increase love for yourself and you again start feeling beautiful and sexy and all those things you know and “the love feeling”.

Me: Yes.

Erik: At the same time if you are having all the negative thoughts about you. Like if you’ve been betrayed a lot of times, so you end up having that fear. So you end up manifesting the same kind of relationships with friends or as your soul mate to say so, as your husband. That’s how it works. So what you feel inside is most important.

Me: Sometimes people , may be they come from a very abusive family. Their

parents are very abusive. Unfortunately very often, they find a partner that they don’t realize is abusive or becomes abusive after the honeymoon phase. It’s because, I think they’re just trying to rewrite the script over and over again until they get it right. You know they want the story to end well and it didn’t as a child, so they’re seeking that in a romantic relationship that doesn’t end up well etc, etc. That’s because they’re looking outside instead of inside.

Erik: Yes exactly! Mom you gotta get the lesson right! Until you get there, it will keep on coming back.

Me: How about picking a good friendship? Friendships are very important.

Erik: That’s the most easy relationship that you can have , almost in any relationship whether as a parent or couple ,if you’re planning to get married, the basic relation should be friendship because that’s very easy. It has a vibe which is fresh.

Me: It has a what?

Lovely: (Making the W mouth) It has a vibe he says.

Me: Oh the Vibe. You are like my husband (laughing). You all get the V’s and W’s mixed up. He says lets go west today (as in vest).

Lovely:(chuckling) Oh yes!  are saying Vibe right! (v sound)

Me: Yeah.

Erik: So that vibration makes it easy. There is no constraint. There are no rules as such. You just hang out with your friends.

Me: And there’s no expensive nasty divorces too, right!

Erik: Hell yeah! There is least amount of fear.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: You don’t constantly keep thinking oh my! I might lose that friend. You don’t do that.

Me: No, not like a partner, it’s different like, Oh my god, I don’t want to lose my husband or my wife. Yes there’s much of an emotional task. Is that what it is? It is so why?

Erik: Even jealousy, it’s there in friendship but it also comes with all the fear that you have which might be because of other aspects that has to be taken care of in your life. Otherwise, even jealousy is not something that is like so strongly coming in like other relationships and possessiveness also.

Me: You don’t get that feeling among friends so much as you do with romantic partnerships.

Erik: Yeah, it’s as easy as that, like mom when you gotta make a friend, you just go say hi, what’s up!

Me: So easy! Also I mean that’s also there with friends I don’t want to say they’re a dime a dozen but you feel like there’s this one romantic partner for it and we don’t want to lose it you know, that’s all that we got. A friend betrays you, it’s very sad, there’s some grieving but then let’s go find some other. Maybe that’s part of it too. I mean you have you can always get another friend, as callous as that sounds, you can always find another.

Erik: The pain involved and trying to get hold of it, you know not trying to lose it, that comes from your experience. So that will be there in a friendship as well as a romantic relationship or your partner. That thing will not be different because if you’ve been betrayed many times, if people always let you down, so that’ll there. You’ll be clingy Mom, even if it’s a friend or an acquaintance or a romantic partner.

Me: All right! Let’s talk about how to maintain certain relationships. We’re going to talk about the boyfriend, girlfriend or the partner, romantic partner, you know friendships, family members and co-workers you know. We spend so much time at work and spend around people. I think one of the most important things about a job is whether you get along with the people more than anything else.

Lovely: Yeah.

Me: So you want to talk first about the romantic partner, married or unmarried, doesn’t make a difference. How to maintain that and about the biggest mistakes we make in that arena?

Lovely: Okay so now he’s not particularly talking about one relationship Elisa because as soon as you asked that, he was immediately into “Communication!!”  you know!

Erik: You gotta talk! People don’t talk, when they have to say things. When they have to express, they think, when they should be using their mouth, not their heads.

Me: Yeah like Erik says, “Feel first and talk later”. We do it backwards. We make a thought, that creates some emotion very often and then that shapes the choices of ours. Instead, we should get in tune with our heart or intuition, create a thought from it and then make a decision whether it’s to say something or not.

Erik: Yes.

Me: And this is true, you’re right, for any of the relationships with your co-workers, family members, friends, your partner right! So I do think one other thing we don’t do is, we don’t listen, number one. We’re afraid to be vulnerable and emotionally honest with ourselves and others. You taught us that. Vulnerability and emotional honesty. Right!

Erik: Yeah! So true mom! that the vulnerability comes in. You see, people don’t express because they feel that okay, this can lead to an argument.

Me: Or they’ll be judged.

Erik: And they might get to hear more things that might hurt them, which is not something they want. Because they are already sad. Also the time, if there’s a fight, by every passing hour it gets worse, when you’re not speaking. All the assumptions come in, you know, it gets difficult, it gets nasty. So why do you wait?

Me: I know! Well I think probably, you should wait a little bit, so everybody settles down but you’re right Erik! Get it right away and do it respectfully. I like the sandwich technique. You know you’re a wonderful husband. It really bothers me when you blah! blah! blah! I sure do like, you know, good bad good. Well there’s no good or bad, but that helps. Everybody should read the book and their workshops on it, Non-violent communication. There’s ways you can talk to one another where it doesn’t make it so defensive.

Erik: Yep!

Me: And you know this whole thing is, I want to be right, no I want to be right, so it sort of sucks the judgment out of it. I wrote a book called “Hearing is believing”, how words can make or break our kids and it talks about just that. How you can speak to a child and in this book you can go with any kind of relationship without upsetting them and make –sense. So I see what you talking about you know.

Erik: What makes a normal conversation, what turns it into an argument, is mostly, because everybody’s dealing with a lot of pain, you know, from their past, from the past lives and all that baggage. So most of the times they’re not exactly even hearing what’s being said.

Me: Oh! So what can they do?

Erik: You have to work on your own fears. Even if a person has that awareness, okay, maybe I’m not reacting to this situation or may be this has a root in something that I experienced, you know, years back, something in childhood. When you get into a similar situation, you become that same child, you become that same person who was may be crying there. They were lonely you know, in such shitty situations and  you end up reacting the same way or maybe worse because maybe that time, you couldn’t do that. So even if you get to that awareness, maybe I should not be reacting this way because this is not exactly what’s happening to me right now. I should not relate it to my past, although its difficult. If that awareness comes in, it will be easier.

Me: Oh yeah!

Erik: Mostly you’re not talking to the point in an argument, right!, whatever the topic is about the fight. We don’t just talk about the topic, we talk about all things around it or even unrelated stuff.

Me: Yeah! Oh I have been guilty. Well I’m much better now. I don’t want to create drama because, oh my god, I had so much chaos and pain in my childhood so I’m upset with somebody I just keep it in and keep it in and keep it in and then it just I can’t take anymore my gunnysack breaks shit out of it, oh! you did this ten years ago and stuff like that. It’s terrible. But hey I’m human and I’m not that way anymore except for rare occasions.

Erik: You can tell that person you know, when maybe it’s your husband or anybody else. You can say it, see you know what! you made me stand in that situation which had happened in my past and so, I was reacting to that situation. It’s not necessary that the person would have that kind of intellect you know, emotional intelligence to always understand but you can at least try.

Me: Right! And I think it’s really important to use “I” instead of “You” because that’s still accusation.

Erik: Yes.

Me:  I feel like when I hear these words, when you say that, try to not use “You” as much as possible. You can always avoid it, you know everything you can, to not make the person defensive because that’s a, Boom!! A wall! Done! Over!

Lovely: That’s a thing that I do with my husband, he might kill me if he sees this video, but I have to mention that I always tell him, don’t build that wall because after so many years, I know when a person is getting to that zone and he’s not listening, but it takes time. Initially it hurts. Sometimes we do that.

Erik: If that awareness comes, at least, it’s like you know, one step easier.

Me: Would it really be good if you have a major situation that your butt heads with whether it’s a co-worker, friend, romantic partner or whatever, family member to have an objective mediator help, you know. To help translate what’s going on. Do you think that’s sometimes a good idea? It doesn’t have to be like a professional counselor to change a change, but I mean it could be a mutual friend or somebody on the street corner.

Lovely: He’s laughing and he’s sitting, he has this, what is that, the crystal ball. He’s giving me the visual of this woman with long hair.

Erik: Sometimes we go to a psychiatrist for some help and he himself is messed up. So you go to this person sometimes it can help, but not necessarily that person is also aware and emotionally intelligent enough, so that can actually sometimes mess the situation too.

Me: oh yeah well I guess if there is a friend that you feel has a high emotional intelligence.

Erik: Yes. If you have that kind of trust, you can do that.

Me: Yeah. But it seems like there needs to be base work done individually too. Like for example, maybe they all need to know, if they had some shit going on in another life, number one.  Maybe they both need past life regression, maybe they don’t love themselves. So they could go through the Self workshop that Allie O’Shea has. That’s  really good. Just look her up, Allie O’Shea. It’s really short, it’s

good, it’s very helpful. Or maybe do the meditation, the self-love meditation, I don’t know. What do you think?  I mean to get the base well and happy, you know to get  yourself not fixed ‘cause you’re not a problem. You know what I mean!

Erik: Its just like you said mom, it’s about I, who’s  actually thinking about I or me. It’s always like you did this to me, why it has to be always me.

Me: Uhh!

Erik: Why people are treating me bad? But there has to be a time when you’re thinking , Oh! Maybe you know, I have to work on something. Maybe it’s my fear. Maybe it’s my past. People don’t have time for it. They’re so much deep in their pain and they go to work and there’s no pain. When they come back home, there’s

these kids.

Lovely: He’s making feel breathless.

Erik: Breathe!! People don’t breathe enough mom!

Me: I know! They turn blue Erik!

Erik: Yeah! (laughing) People don’t breathe enough. In between fights if you actually breathe, maybe they’re the wiring will change. You might get some oxygen and maybe what you were going to blabber the next moment, maybe you could use some other words.

Me: Yes It’s because when you’re breathing, when you do these breathing exercises, that’s when you are most in the now, you know.

Erik: Yes you are aware about your body. You can feel sweaty, you are so in anger and that’s not a good feeling, you know. Everybody knows when they’re angry right!

Me: Yes you’re probably when you are in the now, you’re also more in touch -with your feelings or intuition right!

Erik: Yeah intuition would come later on, but at least if you can breathe you will

come back to your own body feel it intensely. It will let you know. Mostly people

don’t realize that they are angry or they’re immensely sad or they’re, you know talking  bullshit. That realization, that awareness would come, only if we breathe.

Me: And that’s why you need to be emotionally honest with yourself too.

Erik: Yes.

Me: Also to recapitulate give us a to-do list or whatever. See my to do list for today guys!(showing the list) You know how I am!

Lovely: Do you strike off things when you finish.

Me: Yeah.

Lovely: Ah! That must feel so good.

Me: Taken the cat food so the raccoons don’t get it.

Lovely: You’re like my husband, he has so many.

Me: I have my happiness inventory list, everything I’m happy about.

Erik: That’s very cool Mom!

Me: So, what can we do? I mean give us a list of, what we as individuals need to work on and how to do it so that we can become better components of any relationship. Like talked about learning self-love through Allie O’Shea or something else you know. I mean there’s got to be all sorts of self-help books on that. That’s probably a big one. Probably learning non-violent communication right! What else?

Erik: Mom it’s easy when you keep it simple like if I tell somebody, oh you have to meditate for an hour to you know, sort your anger issues, it won’t work. He might not even maybe Google about meditation you know. Leave aside doing it.

Me: It works when you gotta do what resonates with you.

Erik Yes. Simple things like food like what you do for your children.

Lovely: This is something that I have learnt Elisa. Fasting or you know avoiding all the fatty foods and all those things, it has never worked for me. I’ve always been healthier when I’m active and I’m eating what I’m feeling like eating. Thankfully I’m not the person who likes fast food and all the cheese and all that. I do like that sometimes, but I’m like a home food person. But I it doesn’t help me when someone says you cannot eat this much fat or this many calories. I end up eating more, I end up feeling more shitty. I end up becoming you know, heavier. I feel heavier.

Me: So it feels right for you right!

Lovely: Yeah.

Erik: So people have to keep things simple. Just be aware. Eat when you’re hungry.

Lovely: He’s talking about the saying “Don’t mind what I said when I was hungry.” Me: Right Yeah.

Erik: So please eat your breakfast. In the morning when you are hungry, then you go to work, you do all the nasty stuff because your gut is empty. You’re more angry. Do things to change your lifestyle which might help those mood swings. Eating healthy, eating on time, staying active even if it’s a walk and communicating.

Me: Yes and you know encouraging stuff like by being of service to people like

random acts of kindness. What about that?

Lovely: He’s talking about self care. I saw the CE video when he was telling you to go for mani pedis. Doing things for yourself. Feel beautiful.

Erik: If you don’t have time for those things doing things fathers won’t help. So do that then, if you have a little more time you can do those you know, random acts of kindness. People get confused. People think I have to donate when they don’t have enough money  for themselves.

Me: No, take care of you first. But for me, I taking care of myself is when I’m helping others because that makes me feel good. To hell with the people I’m helping, I wanna help Me! No. Ayn Rand’s Benevolent selfishness, it’s a really good book.

All right, so let’s go on. How do you detect a toxic relationship and what are the components of  a toxic relationship.

Erik: You know it in your heart. Who doesn’t know that who is bringing the worst out of you.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: But if you want to know it in the early stages.. like a fresh relationship.

Me: What are the hints? What are the red flags?

Erik: (Using his hands to make the talking motion) The person is just not listening.

Me: Oh yeah!

Erik: It might not be like toxic toxic, but that person needs some self work, so that can end up becoming a headache for you. A pain in the neck, so yeah that’s it.

It’s about a random acquaintances or coworkers and things like that. You know

it Mom, when you’re talking to a person who just doesn’t listen and keeps talking.

That’s the easiest way yeah and there’s another thing that maybe they need love. That’s why they’re like talking but that’s not your business. You cannot always run

around helping everyone that you see on the corner.

Me: But it’s an experiment. You know sometimes the people who are most difficult to love are the ones that do need you the most and it’s a really interesting experiment. I’ll tell you an example I mean you could change a relationship overnight if you make help them feel valued and loved. So one time, oh my god this is a long time ago, I was riding my husband’s manual car and I was on this steep railroad thing and it got it up gear and it slipped slowly back and tapped the bumper of this guy behind me. Boy!! He got out of his car and he was screaming, yelling and so. Man! it did nothing, I mean it was barely like touched by cotton ball. So instead of just reacting the way I could have reacted, I just said oh gosh! I’m so sorry! And you must be angry because probably on your way to work and all this. This is all you needed, I really am so sorry! And my god! he changed, I mean his whole energy melted and he started apologizing. So you know, some people just need to be heard and loved and valued. You know so you could do this with co-workers, friends, romantic partners.

Erik: Mom you made that person feel what he has never felt in his life.

Me: Wow!

Lovely: Erik showed me like this balloon, which is , when all the air goes and it shrinks. So sometimes you know those words..

Erik: See mom! You were aware. Instead of getting agitated, you know it was not my fault you could not think like that it was not even much of a damage to his car, why he has to react. But now you have that awareness that even if it’s not your mistake. You didn’t do it knowingly but somewhere people don’t give that benefit of doubt.

Me: Like they don’t wanna swallow their pride. Once when Lucas and his sister Michelle were smaller, they had a big blow up fight. And each of them went to their room and they were crying, or not, I don’t know. Lucas was crying, that’s all I can remember. So I said hey let’s do a cool experiment. Go in there and say I’m sorry Michelle. He said no! blah! blah! I said I can bet you anything, you’re gonna be shocked by her response. Just say I’m sorry that you’re really upset, you know just like I’m sorry. Not that it’s my fault. Just that you’re feeling upset and he said

Okay! went there and did it. And all of a sudden it was a huge hug fest.

Lovely: Oh my God!

Me: Oh my God! Very powerful moment! He flamed his guts to say that. I mean what’s the worst that can happen people. We are eternal beings.

Erik:(Smiling) But everyone doesn’t have a smartass Mom like you who made it look like a scientific experiment to Lucas. Because if you would have said you should keep your ego aside and that maybe you should be the first, he wouldn’t have gone .

Me: Oh no that wouldn’t work. Forget it! Ooh! Let’s do a fun experiment. Things like that work for kids. It’s fun.

All right! how do we get out of a toxic relationship without having to lick your wounds so much afterwards.

Erik: It’s really difficult. It won’t be that easy if it’s a like living in partner, husband and wife, a spouse.

Me: Oh God yeah!

Erik: Between like married couples it’s difficult because sometimes it’s in your contract Mom. So until you get the lesson, it’s difficult to come out of it.

Other than that if it’s just a co-worker or a neighbour, ignore or build a wall that it doesn’t affect you.

Me: Don’t take it personally, in other words right!

Erik: Yes.

Lovely: Erik’s showing me these tiny ants that crawl up your garden walls. You’re bothered. You treat them like that.

Me: Yeah that’s good and you can also do the love experiment. Maybe even you visualize love energy going to them. I’ve seen people change doing that. Send them pink or green light and just love and just really see their energy softening. It’s very powerful.

Erik: It would work, if the intent is clear. You know there are people who’d keep writing, sending you love and light but they might be thinking something else. Doesn’t work.

Me: Yes. You know I’ve noticed so many people have estranged family members. I mean it’s in my side of the family too. It’s just crazy, I mean what if you do have a family member like that just, oh God! you just want them out of your life. I mean they’re flesh n blood! Damn!

Erik:  If it’s that strong Mom, so it’s obviously firstly in your contract and

it’s almost like these men and women are placed in close relationship with you to

get that strong lesson. Okay! that’s not something that is very happy to know but that’s how it works. If it’s a father, if it’s a husband, the effect is more you know, the pain is more. The learning will be more.

Me: As compared to a sibling? Is that what you’re saying?

Erik:  No even if it’s a siblings, it depends on the strength of a relationship. Like if you have like eight or ten siblings, living away from you, it doesn’t matter. But someone who’s  constantly living with you, in contact with you, speaks to you. You end up having that you know, nasty stuff happening more with you, if that person is always bringing out the worst in you.

Me: oh yeah.

Erik: So it’s contractual in the first place and because you have to get that strong lesson.

Me: Well what about just like cheating, getting the cliffs notes, just like doing a between lives regression to find out, what the contract is in the relationship. Whatever relationship it is, boss, child, family member or whatever.

Erik: You can do that and then obviously once you realize what it is, you have to communicate it, but sometimes that can also go wrong because the person might feel okay I don’t buy this, I don’t believe in these things. What about all the skeptics?

Me: Guess it then depends on the spiritual contract. If the spiritual contract is, well I have to learn how to be self empowered, then you work on being self empowered for example.

Erik: Yeah it’s good if it works Mom! Because with certain people , you just cannot get to certain people because they have this wall, like we were talking about. So you keep banging on their door, they won’t open you know.

Me: Yeah! But before we close, I’m not done yet though. But in case you guys don’t have the attention span like mine and shut this down, I want to remind you to check out with a “k” and please like the Facebook page , subscribe and like this video if you do like it. And even if you don’t, just like it, I’m kidding and subscribe to the channel and don’t forget the

Alright, so the last thing I want talking about is communication tips. Any more

communication tips, because you know, like you said that’s pretty much key besides just having self love.

Lovely: So how to go about communication, good communication?

Me: Maybe just five, three, four or five things . Listen is one, being emotionally honest with yourself and that person, being emotionally vulnerable. Alright! I’m just doing the work for you. But besides those any others?

Erik: Using your head less.

Me: And your heart more.

Erik: You know because your heart is constantly telling you. The head comes in between and it gets nasty , so try to work from the heart space and nobody can stop you from speaking. That’s the key. And also parenting, when you’re raising your child, help them be honest about whatever they feel you know. When they’re angry, just don’t say you cannot be angry. You can maybe say oh you can be angry but not for this thing because you have these other things, maybe. You have to explain it to them and you have to tell them that it’s okay to have these emotions.

Me: Yeah, of course!

Erik: So that when they grow up, they don’t end up not expressing them.

Me: Okay let me give an example something I’ve done I’ve been in an argument like with my husband and inside I think, I’m wrong about this but I keep on going. So you need to listen and keep your pride aside. Just stop and say, “You know what!  He might be right!” Oh that’s so hard to do, Uhh!

Lovely: He’s showing me little feet. What the children generally do. They wearing shoes of big people.

Erik: Trying to be in others’ shoes Mom. Do that. That helps!

Me: Anything else on that?

Lovely: Anything else Erik?

Erik: Don’t waste time thinking , “If I go first, if I would do the first move, it would go wrong.” This does not apply to relationships, when you know that person is actually sabotaging you and he can go violent. It’s not about those relationships but relationships like, you have a fight with someone you love, you know at the end of the day, you love each other and this is a fight. “This is just a fight.” You have to think that, this is no big life and death situation.

Me: But how do you stop the fight?

Lovely: (after a long pause) How do you do that?

Erik: It’s a two-way process. It has to be.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: You cannot always do these things. Like mom, now you are in this awareness, you are a good communicator, you’re working , you have this awareness. But there would be a point, when you would give up, if the person in front of you is not making an effort. So it is a two-way process mom! But yes, you can at least try to express, this is what I want, this is maybe what I feel. And yes I do understand, but there is a limit to things that you can do in relationships sometimes. So you can try, but rest is like that, all the contracts and things come in.

Me: But also sometimes people try finding and finding and finding, they keep drilling even when they hit oil, is because they don’t feel acknowledged. Just acknowledging what they’re saying, you don’t agree with it, but just acknowledging what they’re saying can put a halt to the fight, I guess right!

Erik: Yeah mom! Acknowledgement and validation. People have screwed the meaning because they feel if you have to validate a person, acknowledge a person, you have to agree with them. That’s not how it works.

Me: No! No!

Erik: You just need to think from their perspective.

Me: Yeah alright. I’m gonna take one more minute. All those things that we can do, on a positive note here, to help each other grow and evolve in any kind of relation. What are some some tips?

Lovely: (pausing) So he expressed his views about communication, now he’s talking about non-verbal communication, physically touch.

Me: Oh yeah!

Erik:  That’s something that is unused or under-used mom. Hugging!

Lovely: I have to tell you this. I was telling this to my friend Michelle that, oh my god! I’m so weird. I almost feel like the person I meet, I feel like hugging them and which is not common in India. We don’t do that, so I end up feeling weird, especially when the person is a man and I being a woman. But somewhere I feel that oneness and so much. When I meet a woman, I have to rub the back and do all those things.

Erik: It’s good. It should be encouraged from childhood.

Me: Yeah I remember! In front of the grocery store, there was the guy you know, with the Salvation Army, ringing the bell, accepting donations around Christmas time. I put money in there and I said I’m really grateful for what you’re doing. Is it okay if I give you a hug? He said sure! He was this big old guy. A hug and he completely changed, and oh my, I felt better too.

Erik: Yeah.

Me: So you know even a smile, truly looking into their eyes, not just looking at their face.

Lovely: (smiling)You know Erik’s dressed up in an army outfit and he’s giving you a salute.

Me: Oh(with love)

Lovely: He’s saying that’s something that you do. You have spoken this many times in your videos right Elisa, that you used to make your kids, even when they were big, just sit on your lap.

Me: Oh my god! It was famous with these guys.

Erik: Well I would love it even now Mom! Now more.

Me: Me too! I remember Lucas, his younger brother. He was 17 years old, up in his room. I was downstairs working and he goes “Mo…….om!!”(singing).  I go “Wha……aat!!” (singing) and he goes “Snu…..ggle!!”  Then I do that with him. So you know, It’s okay!

Me: Okay lovely Lovely! This was lovely and thank you Erik I love you so much and again it’s

Erik: I love you Mom! Muah! Muah! Muah!(blowing kisses)

Me: (smiling)Awww!

Lovely: Thank you so much for this session Elisa. Bye!

Me: Bye Lovely.

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