From what I’ve learned from Erik and various spiritual gurus, scarcity is an illusion, but when I look at my monthly American Express bill, I think, ‘You could have fooled me!’ Throughout my life, I’ve asked questions about whether I’ll have enough. ‘Will I have enough money to put all of my children through college and still be able to retire?’ ‘Will I be enough as a mother for them?’ ‘Am I doing enough through the blog and my books to honor Erik’s work so that he can help others?’ ‘Am I cooking enough rice to serve my family of seven?’ (Usually never a problem because my husband says I cook enough to serve the French Foreign Legion.) Yes, it does seem like everything works out in the end, but still that sense of, “There isn’t enough” looms large in my life.
Please review the poem below before reading on:
Uncertainty is the root of fear
Distrust is the root of uncertainty
Scarcity is the root of distrust
Hostility is the root of scarcity
Sorrow is the root of hostility
Attachment is the root of sorrow
Fear is the root of attachment
Chaos is the root of all
Harmony is the equal opposite of chaos
Me: What about scarcity being the root of distrust? When I say “scarcity,” I mean not having enough, being enough, doing enough, achieving enough, having people be there for you enough and things like that.
Erik: When you feel that you don’t have enough, you’re only allowing yourself to see half of the photograph. Then somebody comes in and explains the entire photograph, but you think that the “half” photograph you have is the absolute truth and the whole picture. They’re saying there’s a dog in it, and you’re saying, “There’s no fucking dog.” The other person says, “I’m trying to tell you, there’s a dog!” Only having half the picture and believing it’s the whole damn thing, because that’s what the ego likes to do, sets you up for feeling you’re ripped off. Suddenly you realize that you don’t have the whole picture the other dude has. You thought you had it all, but you didn’t. You lose trust in yourself, others or both. If you can’t see the whole, and if you don’t have a belief system about the whole, it feeds distrust.
Me: So, it’s like somebody says, “I don’t trust anything, anyone, any experience interfering with my having, being and doing enough.”
Erik: Or how about, “I only believe what I see.” They only see half the photograph, and they start to distrust themselves or others because they’re wondering, “Do I have the whole one, or am I being fucked over?” We all know that’s bullshit. Scarcity is about how we’ve, as individuals, decided that our environment, I mean everyone and everything external to us, has all the answers and that our internal self doesn’t. That’s like when somebody breaks your heart and moves away. They’re still alive, but they refuse to apologize to you. The truth in all of this is that even though common consensus tells you that you deserve an apology, you don’t need it to be whole and to have enough. You actually don’t have scarcity. You can still heal from the lack of the “I’m sorry” from the bad lover. These actions that we’ve been told have to come from other people and our surroundings really don’t have to. They come from within.
Me: So there’s an abundance in what you can provide. That’s a known. But you don’t know what everything outside of yourself will be able to dish out to you. You don’t know what you can get from your environment.
Erik: True, and that’s called survival. It’s not a scarcity. It’s like someone’s reading this, and they say (in a whiny, poor little pitiful me voice), “I don’t have money. I do the affirmations. I talk about abundance, but my environment doesn’t give it to me. It’s scarce.” Money is not scarce, actually. Money is extremely abundant in this world, but we have to see it not in its paper and coin form. We have to see it in its energetic form. Of course the paper/coin thing makes it easier for people to understand how to the give, take, grow, exchange, and save, but it starts with you and how you choose to participate in your environment. When I say, “participate in your environment,” I mean participate with your actions and with your beliefs about what your environment is doing. If you believe you don’t have enough of whatever it is, money, love, shelter, food, and then you look around and see that other people have it and you don’t, this can creates thoughts like, “Why do you have it? Why aren’t you giving it to me? What’s wrong with me?” This builds distrust with your environment or with yourself, “Maybe I’m not good enough. I was never meant to have that anyway. What was I thinking?” This can create this whole mental breakdown or shutdown so that your head feels like it has to be in pole position and is never going to allow your heart to jump in and tell you, “This is okay.” It won’t let you see that what you actually have is enough.
This picture reminds me of how beautiful Erik was as a child. It’s hard having the 5th Christmas without him.
