I’m sitting here typing on my Mac here in a Best Western Hotel in the piss ant town of Cresson, TX. Pretty much an intersection, a gas station, and a liquor store (Thank God. I need my Cabernet!) Why, you ask? I’ve asked that same question for the past couple of days.But I have to show solidarity for my man. This is a motorcycle race weekend and he feels compelled to drag is knees on asphalt and defy death and avoid keeping the orthopedic doctors from taking his money. (Yawn) Actually–and this is pretty ironic–I had to go to the local ER to get a splint because of super severe extensor digitorum longus tendinitis. (There will be a short quiz on this later.)

Me: What about suicides? A lot of people think that suicides got straight to Hell. Obviously you didn’t do that, but…Tell me more.

Erik: Yeah, maybe if there was a Hell, I probably would have skimmed it a little bit.

Jamie and I laugh.

Jamie: He’s teasing.

Erik: First of all, there is no Hell. Using the term in general, God loves everybody and it’s not in every culture. IF you do the research, suicide is seen as a negative. I can’t grasp the concept of why people want to judge other people’s actions. I know it’s a very tender subject. Anyone who’s watching—don’t you know that I know that more than any other person out there? I’m the one who did it. I’m the one who succeeded. Don’t you think I know what it takes to get there? So most people on Earth would put suicide under murder, under rape. These are things that mankind cannot embrace—cannot even see it as acceptable or understood. I’m not here to change your mind on that. If I was here to change you mind about it and preach to you, then I’m just as bad as the next person. It’s not about changing minds. It’s about embracing what you find to be your own truth. Just getting out and beyond that, just unzip out of your understanding of those terms, of suicide, the definition of suicide. Just unzip out of it for one second so I can talk to you.

(Pause)

Erik: Thank you for unzipping.

Jamie and I giggle.

Erik: Suicide. I can speak from my example. For me, it ended up being a natural timing of death. It was a way of dying in my life just like cancer is, just like a car accident. There’s a certain kind of timing—we’ll call it timing—in life, and this timing is extremely graceful and flexible, but it helps build what the experiences are on Earth. And yes, it’s changeable, it’s flexible. I’m not saying it’s fixed in concrete, so please don’t take what I’m saying the wrong way. Now, those people who take suicide as a way out, and it’s not under that graceful and good timing—maybe they were supposed to struggle with that little bit longer before they followed through or live an entire life and die from a heart attack. I’m not one to sit around and say, “You were right and you were wrong” cuz you know what that shit is—total judgment, right? So, if you’re leaving your life no matter how you’re leaving your life—accidentally, by disease, murder or by your own hand, if you’re leaving your life and it’s your time, you’re gracefully accepted into the higher dimensions. It doesn’t matter how or why. It was the timing and your understanding of it.

Me: And if it’s not your time?

Erik: If it’s not your time or that you weren’t ready but you did it anyway or it happened to you anyway, you got some shit to work out. You got some experiences that have to occur on Earth that aren’t going to be able to occur because you’re not a player in it anymore. You removed yourself. So now you, in spirit, need to finish up those things and help that grace still stay in place. Then when you’ve finished that, you can say your work is done. But not everything is perfect timing.

Jamie (laughing): He’s getting a little crazy trying to use the words again, like he wants to speak more emotionally without the language to it, but that’s not going to go well, you know, in a situation like this.

Erik: We talked about it before that on Earth there are these concepts of being like you’re on a pendulum swing where one side is completely accurate and the other side is completely wrong, and the middle of the swing is on the fence. And when you, on Earth, look at a situation, you tend to go for “Was that the wrong thing to do” (Jamie mimics the swing of a pendulum stopping at its height on the right) “or was it the right thing to do?” (Jamie does the same thing, but on the left side.) All I’m going to ask you guys to do on Earth is: It’s okay to have your own opinion. It’s okay to find out and explore where you want to be on that pendulum swing. Living on one side or the other is not going to be the healthiest thing for you.

Me: So, basically, suicides and gays are embraced even though, um, suicides who die before their time, there’s no judgment over there. They’re completely loved and embraced.

Erik: There’s no judgment here. Absolutely. This place is only about unconditional love. Even just asking the question just sounds retarded.
Me: Oh, thank you!

Erik: Why would somebody die and be hated?

Me: Thank you very much!

Jamie laughs.

Erik: No, Mom. There are other people out there asking the same questions.

Me: I’m just kidding.

Erik: You gotta look at, not just the content of your question, but you gotta look at it with nonhuman eyes. I mean, you’re looking at it with human language, human emotions, human opinion, and human judgment in a place that’s not even human!

Here’s a short bonus post:

Me: Can you work with your hands like build a deck or…

Jamie (laughing): When you said, “Work with your hands” he kind of lifted a certain finger and said, “Yeah”.

Me: Uh oh!

Jamie: You got it? I’m not going to do it.

Me: Yeah!

Erik: Yeah I can do that. You don’t have to do it that way, but if that was something you were attracted to or it helped to ground you in your human life, you can create that situation for yourself in the afterlife.

Me: Okay.

Erik: It’s not completely removed. You can—

(Pause. Jamie looks like she’s a little frustrated.)

Jamie: He’s doing the picture thing again. Apparently it takes a lot of focus. That’s what he’s showing me, to be able to have dense energies like that to where things can be touched, manipulated, handled, cuz most of the energy is shaped or changed by intent, thought or emotion. But yeah, you can have that. I know you’re not going to do that while you’re here so I don’t know why you’re asking that one!

I would definitely loose some spirit fingers sawing the wood.

Me (laughing): That’s true. You know what? I’m going to just create a La-Z-Boy there and kick back for a few millennia.

***********************

Dear Reader,

The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

Love and light,

Elisa