Today is another bad day for me because 6 years ago, I buried Erik. I keep thinking of all the things that happened that day: driving in the rain to the funeral home, greeting people while trying to smile, getting through the service, riding behind the hearse to the grave site, having the service there, putting roses on his coffin and so on. It was all so surreal and terrible. I couldn’t fathom how we had gotten to this point, that we could have outlived our own child. I remember wanting to leave before they began to lower the coffin. I just couldn’t stand that statement of finality. I welcome any healing energy from you guys. 

Today’s post is the first in a two-part one on the Law of Attraction. This subject is important because, let’s face it, we want what we want and it irks us when we can’t manifest those things in our life. Let’s see what Erik has to offer.

By the way, Brenda, I’m still waiting to hear from you and collect your prize!

Me: Good morning!

Jamie: There it is again. There’s this weird static at the beginning, but last time it just completely went away.

Me: What is it Erik?

Erik: It’s just the connection.

Can’t blame him, I guess.

Me: Okay.

Erik: It’s not a spirit issue.

Me: Okay.

Jamie: I’m wondering on this recording if you’ll hear Erik. That might be interesting to know because it sounds very different when you’re talking.

Me: Everybody listen for Erik’s voice. We’ve had a number of times when we’ve picked his voice up. Good, Erik! Keep it up. That excites me so much! It’s awesome. I love to hear my baby boy’s voice. I really do.

Jamie chuckles.

Erik: I’ll keep it up. No problem.

Me: All right. We’re going to talk about the Law of Attraction. Everybody wants to know about the Law of Attraction, using thoughts to create your reality. I’m doing this rice experiment from Professor Emoto where you put boiled rice in three jars, fill them with water, then thank one everyday, call the other one an idiot and ignore the other one. The one that’s ignored is supposed to be all rotten, and the one that’s called an idiot is supposed to turn black while the one you thank is supposed to have this wonderful aroma of sweet fermenting, probably rice sake; I don’t know. So I’ve been doing that experiment and the first one to develop mold is the one I’ve been thanking! And now, the idiot one is fermenting and shows these bubbles. I think I just feel so sorry for that poor little thing when I call it an idiot and feel so guilty that I probably actually send it love and healing energy, too. I don’t know!

Jamie: That’s exactly what he was saying!

I sigh.

Erik: Out of all the people to do this experiment, not you, Mom!

Me: I can’t call it an idiot!

Erik: You can’t separate yourself to just be an asshole.

Me: I know. I can’t! Dammit. Oh well.

And looking back, I think the mold on the thank you jar is from my being uncomfortable with compliments.

Erik: You’re kind of okay with ignoring one of them because you can tell yourself, “I’m busy. That one has to be alone, and it’s good for it to be alone.”

Me: Oh, there we go.

Erik: And so you’ve talked yourself into it, but to be a bitch…

Me: Too bad, dang it. I was vlogging on that. Oh well, guys, I’ll keep, uh, I scooped out the mold, and I want to keep trying.

Erik: Mom, why don’t you just write the words on it?

Me: I did.

Erik: Then let that be what empowers itself and see what happens.

Me: Ah! And don’t do anything else! All right. Now back to the topic at hand, the Law of Attraction. I remember you talking about dust bunnies before.

Erik: The Law of Attraction.

Jamie: He keeps making kissing sounds.

Me: Aw.

Erik: Yeah, we can talk about the dust bunny thing again. Whatever you put out there, like your house is dirty, and you don’t clean up underneath your bed, what goes down there is attracted to itself, and it grows and grows and grows. Then, all of a sudden, it’s a nuisance. But let’s look at that energetically instead of as a dust bunny. Like my mom was saying thank you, thank you, thank you to one [jar of rice.] Those thank yous, the energetic vibration of the thank yous connects to each other, and gets bigger and better and bigger and better within that vibrational pattern. It hangs out there until you actually clean it, just like your dust bunnies stay under your bed until you Swiffer Sweep it.

Jamie laughs.

Me: Sounds like a Swiffer commercial.

Jamie (laughing): Way to name drop!

Me: Yeah, really!

Jamie: I’d like to see him use one!

Me: No, he was usually responsible for the heavy stuff like mulching the yard and all that stuff.

Jamie: Oh god. He’s starting to show me the muscles on his arms.

Me: Oh yeah. Big muscles! Big boy!

Erik: We’re not really trained to be aware of the energy we’re putting out there because we can’t see it so we think we can’t obviously touch it so it’s not real to us and we shouldn’t pay attention to it. But that’s not true. If you’re trying to manifest, let’s say, love in your life so you’re thinking of the girl or the man, and you know what kind of hair you want them to have and all of his qualities, but when you think about love, you innately feel like you’re not worthy of it.

Me: Mm.

Erik: So you’re manifesting all of these things, but what’s powering it is, “I’m not worthy of it.” Is that shit ever going to come to you? No, but you are collecting a lot of “I am not worthy” energy all around you and all around the topic of “I want love.” So (knocking his fists together) not gonna work.

Me: Oh! So how does it physically work? I mean, in terms of physics, how does it—thoughts, thoughts are energy, and you have this thought tendril going out into the Universe and…?

Erik: It depends on what you’re saying and the vibrational quality of it, Mom. That’s the most important thing: the vibration of it, how it moves, because that vibration can speak and communicate with other vibrations—

Erik points the fingers on each hand at each other and wiggles them.

Jamie: I don’t know why he’s doing that with his hands.

She laughs.

Jamie (wiggling her fingers in the same way): It’s right behind the camera.

I chuckle.

Erik (to Jamie): You don’t realize how stupid you look sometimes!

Jamie: Nope, I don’t!

Me: And who makes her do that?

Jamie laughs and sticks her tongue out at Erik.

Erik: It’s not my fault that she mimics everything! So it depends on the vibration, and then they speak to each other. So let’s say with this whole Law of Attraction, if you really believe in the words you’re saying, let’s say—

(Pause)

Jamie: I don’t think that makes sense. Can you say it another way?

Erik: You know how you say something sarcastically, “Yeah, I love you. I so love you.” The words “I love you” have a certain vibration, but the belief, the emotional value behind it, the sarcasm, the sassiness, or the really deep and [sincere] “I love you” powers that vibration in different ways. So you can kind of think, because we’re measurers and we’re human, that it makes those vibrations stronger or weaker. That’s just to give you a visual. It’s really not like that, but great image.

Me: Okay.

Erik: That stronger one where you so believe in those words has more magnetic attraction. That’s not really how it is, but it’s a great damn visual.

Jamie laughs.

Me: Mm hm. Yeah. So what does the energy tendril do? Let’s say somebody knows they’re worthy of a promotion at work, and they put it out there. Law of Attraction. “I’m going to make this happen!” They send out that, “I am worthy of this promotion, and I’m going to have it.” So that energy tendril, powered by high quality vibration—

Erik: Yes!

Me: –hooks up to what to make it happen?

Erik: It goes out there and hooks up to other vibrational patterns that can enhance it. We like to think that once you say something, it just goes out into the world, but really it’s very Australian.

Jamie chuckles.

Erik: It does come back to you. You’re its creator. So what you put out there verbally or with thoughts feeds you later.

Me: Well what patterns does it seek out? Like the promotion thing, give me a specific example of what energy pattern that could be attracted to or hook up to?

Erik: It could hook up to the boss or the person in HR who is doing the hiring that believe, “We need somebody who will fit this position perfectly. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Then you’re putting out, “I fit this position perfectly. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” So those vibrational qualities fit. They match. They pull in that, “I’m confident. I’m the one for the position. Look at me.” Then from there on out, you have to land the deal. You know, life just doesn’t hand things out to you. You have to fucking participate.

Me: Oh, of course.

Secretly thinking, ‘Dammit.’

Me: So those are the dust bunnies. The boss’s energy and your energy get together to make that dust bunny, and it comes back into your life as a possible promotion.

Erik: Yes.

Me: Interesting.

Erik: That big dust bunny that you want to keep!

One more announcement. I found out that Rune booked a camping trip for us on the weekend of the 24th, so I have to move the Houston CE get together to this coming Saturday, a week earlier. It’ll still be at Jason’s Deli at 2:00 PM. Hope to see you there!