Before reading this amazing interview, I want to talk to you guys about your healthcare. No one will ever be a better advocate for your health than you and your loved ones. NEVER solely rely on a physician or other healthcare provider because as smart as they might seem, some make mistakes, often serious ones. The reason I bring this up is because I saw a post by a blog member who announced that, after multiple miscarriages, she’s 30 weeks pregnant, past her usual danger period. Long ago, she contacted me about her recurrent miscarriages and I recommended that she take one baby aspirin a day for the first trimester because some people have an anti-cardiolipin antibody which attacks the embryo right after its implantation. I told her to check with her OB, of course. Well, she started on it once she got pregnant again, and when she told her doctor that she was taking the aspirin, he told her to stop. She miscarried. She got pregnant again, continued the aspirin and it looks like she’s going to have a successful outcome. Congratulations.
A long time ago, my diabetic sister was admitted to the MICU, so I went to visit her. I noticed from the monitors that her systolic pressure was only 40, so I rushed out to find her doctor, a world famous nephrologist. I found him and told him she was crashing and was probably septic. He shook his head in pity and said, “Yes, I know.” I said, “It’s probably coming from her central line.” He agreed but said she needed the line for TPN (IV feeding also know as total parenteral nutrition. So I said, “She won’t need nutrition if she dies. For the love of god, take the line out, culture the tip, and put a new one on the other side!” His eyes widened and he said, “That’s a good idea!’ Dur. Denise lived for over a decade more. It’s not that he isn’t smart. It’s just that he’s too busy to take the time to think. Many doctors are.
Here’s one more. I put my mother in the hospital because she was out of it and had a skin condition known as acanthosis nigricans, often an indicator of cancer. She has a very high serum calcium, too, which can also be a sign for cancer. They did every imaginable scan and found nothing. I told her doctor that she probably just had a parathyroid adenoma causing the elevation in her calcium which in turn impaired her cognition, which in turn caused her not to bath so that her skin was never exfoliated. Thus the acanthosis. He said, “Nah. It’s cancer. We just haven’t found it yet.” I insisted on a sestamibi scan and reluctantly, he ordered it. Guess what it showed. Yep, a parathyroid adenoma. All I’m saying is research about your condition. Get second opinions if necessary. You, alone, are responsible for your health and no one will care more than you.
Enough of the lecture! Let’s let Joan have her say. The transcription is courtesy of the wonderful Audrey Wang!
Emma: Hello again!
Me: Good morning Emma and my sweet boy Erik I still love you!
Erik: Hmm what would I say? Of course I love you! (Erik blowing kisses)
Me: Hey a lot of people have been requesting interview with the famous Joan Crawford an actress back in the day
Emma: I have no idea who she was and I asked Erik and he’s like she’s an actress and I’m like oh okay, I’ve never heard of her.
Me: She’s pretty famous but I don’t’ know anything about her to tell you the truth, so can u fetch her? Go fetch!
Erik: Okay Mamacita, I’m going to go.
Emma: She looks very pretty.
Me: Oh yeah she’s a real stunning looking woman if I remember correctly.
Emma: She has wavy hair. It looks super soft. She looks pretty tall. I’m not sure if she’s tall. In my perspective,
Me: No, you’re not. Hi Ms. Crawford, how are you?
Joan: Hello, thanks for having me.
Me: Well you’ve been requested a lot! And I have some questions specifically from a blog member. And then I’ll have my usual questions. First one from this blog member, Joan I understand you were born Lucille Fay LeSueur in San Antonio, Texas. Really? What’s the reason behind the very painful and difficult relationship with your mother?
Joan: My mom had control issues we’ll just call it that. She also blamed a lot of her problems on me. Let’s just say that it was not… I didn’t have a very great childhood. Let’s just say it that way. When my stepfather and my Mom divorced for instance, she blamed that on me because my stepfather had raped me so I was the one to blame. When it came to my brother, her relationship with him was a little different because he was a male, so she had a thing with females. So it didn’t really sit with her well. There was some sort of jealousy that her husband rather had sex with her daughter than with her. So there was a lot of resentment; there was a lot of control. I got beaten up on a regular basis. Let’s just say he’s mentally not very stable. She would express her frustrations on me.
Me: That’s too bad. Did your mother ever make amends with you before she died?
Joan: Not really. There was a little bit of contact but not to say that we became best buddies. It was just like she did her thing and I did my thing. Let’s just leave it at that.
Me: Here’s a great question. Did your mother know that your stepfather was intimate with you at a young age?
Joan: Not at first. She did find out later because…
Emma: She’s making me feel like her brother found out and he kind of mentioned it to the mother.
Joan: Did they break up right after that? No, she just blamed me for it and forgave him.
Me: Ah that’s awful. Did it eventually stop; did he stop molesting you, after it’s all out in the open?
Joan: He did stop, not right after though. He had promise he wouldn’t do it again. He did it a few times in secret. It did eventually stop, yes.
Me: How old were you?
Emma: She’s giving me 15, 16 something like that.
Me: (electric sound at background going on) Wow what’s that weird sound? Erik are you messing up with the microphone?
Emma: It’s a bike.
Me: Oh it’s a motorcycle. Oh that’s what it was.
Erik: My bike does not make a lot of noises. I miss it! I miss the noise!
Me: Oh I bet he does! How’s the relationship with your mother and stepfather after relationship later in your life? How did their relationship affect your future relationship?
Joan: Well because my unstable childhood and my unstable mother and the rape, and basically the constant confirmation by others that I was poor, ugly, and unworthy, let’s just say we weren’t very wealthy, I did get picked on a lot by school kids, and by children on the street that I wasn’t as pretty maybe as the other ones. I didn’t have the nicest clothes. [From] all of that, I became really detached from myself. Because of my need for inner security, and my need for acceptance and freedom, I considered feeling and emotions more as a burden so I became detached from my true inner self that way. I mean it doesn’t mean I didn’t have any feelings; I did, but I really closed myself off from my feelings just to protect myself. I figured if I don’t’ feel anything then I’ll be Ok; I can’t be hurt.
Emma: She seems very agitated when she talks about this. Her energy flares up.
Joan: I did become successful and accomplished in my career as a young lady. I thought I was very courageous because I was really head-on in what I wanted. I wanted to become a star; I was going to become wealthy and I was going to become loved. It’s almost like I needed that to overcome my past.
Me: Wow. What effect did boarding school have on you?
Joan: It just highlighted the fact that I was different than everyone else because …
Emma: She’s’ showing me how her stepfather left and they went back into being extremely poor, her Mom and her brother and her. She had to basically work. She’s showing me how she’s taking away dishes, how she’s working basically in her own school, while everybody else didn’t have to do that, so in order to pay for her staying there, for her education, she was forced to work at a very young age.
Joan: It again highlighted that I wasn’t worth anything and I had a really low self-esteem because of that. It didn’t help me in my education either because I was so tired from always cleaning and making beds and doing this mopping and helping in the kitchen. My education really suffered and, on top of that, I started feeling stupid. I started feeling I didn’t have the wits and smarts to get to where I needed to go.
Me: I understand that you’re an amazing dancer. This person says. Is that true?
Joan: I loved dancing. Because when I would go with the energy of the music I completely forgot who I was, it was just me in my element with this music. In a way, it connected me with God. Music really made me feel like I was something bigger. It really made me feel really good.
Me: When you adopted your children, was that through Georgia Tann? Tann. Maybe her? She was a biological mother?
Emma: She’s nodding her head yes, but she’s saying that the adoptions were not legal? This was kind of a …
Me: Under the table kind of thing?
Emma: Just feels like something’s wrong with it. It wasn’t supposed to or something wasn’t legal. In some states, it would be considered illegal, she said. It’s almost like buying children. Instead of adopting it’s almost like “Here’s money. Thank you.” You would buy the baby.
Me: Did you know Georgia Tann’s reputation? At the time did you know?
Joan: I did. I was aware of it.
Me: What’s her reputation? Was she a prostitute or something?
Joan: She was a crook.
Me: Oh, ok. Okay. What was it you feuded about with Bette Davis?
Joan: I knew you were going to ask!
Me: It’s a big one!
Joan: Let’s just say among women, what does feud always start with? Men. It starts with men. Let me explain this. From a very young age, I understand that sexual and my magnetic attraction powers. I kind of considered them as super powers. I really used them. I was almost like a predator. I knew that when it came to Hollywood you need to sleep your way to the top. So a lot of relationships that I had, that was also the case. Now, I had just divorced my first husband; this was so many months later. I admired her but she was an extremely good actress. But she didn’t’ really like me. I had overheard her talk to another actress. She was very critical of me. She said I was not pretty enough to be an actress and my voice sounded like a man. I really took that as an insult. I knew that she really fell in love with this man that we were doing a movie with. And I know it sounds horrible but I needed a new husband to keep me financially afloat. I figured why not do two things in a row. I’ll get my revenge and then I get my husband. So she knew that that’s the reason why I married him; she knew that I didn’t love him. I knew that she’s madly in love with him.
Me: Wow.
Joan: And I did it anyway. I hurt her. Let’s just say that’s one of my highlights.
Me: Oh, wow. Who was the man?
Emma: Frank or Francho? (Franchot Tone by Wiki)
Me: Okay I’ll look it up. All right let’s see. Did you still visit your former Brentwood mansion? It is one of the questions in her list. Did you visit, did you go visit, did you do any haunting in your spirit time?
Joan: I don’t’ really do any haunting. I do just sometimes go there. There’s an energy there that’s like make me feel I was home, so I sometimes visit, but I don’t really haunt.
Me: What was your spiritual mission in this life as Joan Crawford?
Joan: For me what I was here to learn was really the feeling of abandonment and everything that came with it, you losing yourself, feeling guilty of your actions, self-hate, anything that comes with that, whatever you can come up with. What I needed to do is I needed to come to peace with all the horrible things that I had done, and I really needed to find a way to forgive myself, so what was I here to learn? Let’s just say, self-forgiveness, because I did terrible things. I did lose myself completely. It eventually turned into OCD.
Emma: She’s making me feel like she did horrible things to her children, not to all, because she’s saying that she’s pretty depressed and she was in a really bad state of mind when she adopted her first two children. In a way, she’s making me feel like the adoption was not to have children. She wanted to keep her face in the media. She felt like her career was up and down and all over the place. In order for her to keep herself known and people wouldn’t forget about her. She would do things like that. She would have photographers come take pictures and publish it, just to keep her name in the paper, to keep herself known. When a lot of things didn’t work out, she’s showing me that she would use her children pretty much like what her Mom did.
Me: Physically?
Emma: She became what she hated the most.
Joan: I became my mother! I suffered from that for years and years and years. I did adopt 2 more children. By then what I see as kind of like a spiritual awakening. I started to try to heal myself. I started to relate to source; I started talking to God again which I had never done again. I started talking to God and praying and I really started working on myself. So the children…
Emma: She’s calling them twins.
Joan: The twins didn’t experience abuse that the two older children did. There are a lot of years between them that I kinda had come to peace, and come to terms with what I had done. And I did have some spiritual people who would help me, who would go through the idea that everything happens for a reason and you need to forgive yourself and you need to reconnect with who you are. If you’re asking me what I was here to teach? That if you want something in life, you need to fight for it. You really need to go for it. You can’t let anybody stop you. I didn’t let anybody stop me. Because of that I also kinda opened the door for aging actresses to still have careers, because in those times when you became a certain age, you were discarded, you are told you are done. I disapproved that. I continued until I was well in my 40s. I was hoping that the fact that these older actresses and actors who now have great careers, that I kinda merged that world a little bit and gave people a chance because, guess what, I got more awards at a later age than I did at a younger age
Me: Wow that’s something else. Do you think your and your mother have borderline personality disorder?
Joan: Yes.
Me: That sounds like it. All right. Did you ever make amends with the first two adopted children?
Joan: No, I did not.
Me: Yea that must be tough. What’s your biggest regret?
Joan: That when it comes to, let’s just say that I had accepted that I had treated my children not correctly, however, I had tried to make amends. However, they completely blew it off. They didn’t want to have anything to do with it. I had heard they were going to tell these horrible stories that I’d rather kept to myself. What I regret? That I never get to patch up with them, that I never get to make amends with them. Because they rejected me. I became full of hate again. Hated them for rejecting me. Because I was trying, and they couldn’t see that. They couldn’t see that I had been going through a process. I did it. But they dint’ see it. What that did was that it brought me right back to that hared. I basically passed away with that hate in my heart. I don’t have it any more.
Me: Of course not.
Joan: I understand why they did what they did. I also understand that why she, let’s just say that her book, a lot of things in there didn’t happen. A lot of it came out of hate for me. A lot of things were blown out into disproportions. Not to say that what I did was not wrong, I know I did what I did was wrong. I did beat them. I did do a lot of physical pain to them. I know that.
Emma: She’s making me feel like it was blown up.
Me: My husband is here so I gotta leave for the airport. But I want to get to these last questions and make them really brief. Can you share anything new that the public didn’t know about?
Joan: That’s a hard one because there has been so much publicity around my life.
Me: Well there could be nothing. I don’t know. That’s fine
Emma: She can’t seem to come up with anything.
Joan: Maybe that I loved all my children in some way or form I loved all of them though a lot people don’t believe that, I really did. It wasn’t my intention to adopt children to abuse them. I did want to make a family for myself.
Me: Are you on the earth reincarnated now or you plan to at least in my lifetime?
Joan: Not right now I’m actually helping women who’re going through abuse, any kind of abuse, sexual abuse, and physical abuse from their spouse or their father. I don’t want to say I see this as my duty; this is my punishment “now you get to help people who are being abused”. I don’t see it like that. It’s almost like I want to experience what it was like for my children. It’s almost like I want some way or form to connect with that.
Me: It is a connection.
Joan: To help me grow. To help me expand and learn more about other people’s feelings of abuse.
Me: Can you share briefly another life you had or most influence you had as Joan Crawford?
Joan: No other life tops this one.
Me: Bet it doesn’t! How could it!
Joan: So I don’t’ think other life would top it. Maybe a life that nobody would see me do as… I was a priest in a Catholic church in another life. I was actually a good person. But people would take advantage of me. I would help with a lot of the sick.
Emma: She’s showing me like the plague time. She did succumb to the disease herself, himself; it was a man. That’s really a life of self-sacrifice and just compassion and love.
Me: Erik do you have any… well first of all, do you have a final message for us?
Joan: Your will is the most powerful drive that a human being can have if you have the drive and courage in your heart to go after what you want and not have anybody stop you and then you can create every reality you wish to experience.
Me: You did!
Joan: I did, in all its glory.
Me: I am amazed. Erik, would you like to ask, and Emma would you like to ask too, it’s fine.
Emma: He’s making me feel like… oh ok. He’s talking about her name. He had heard that she did not like the name she got because it wasn’t her original name. She did not like to be called Joan. He’s just checking if there’s any particular reason that she didn’t like to be called Joan or Crawford.
Joan: You know I didn’t like my original name and my birth name I was given because they reminded me of a lot of miseries. I also didn’t like the name people had chosen for me. Because it made me sound like a crawfish or something. and I didn’t like Joan because it was just too short and did not sound classy. I wanted to pounce it Jo-anne but they never did. It always bugged me. My whole life it bugged me.
Me: Oh that’s funny. All right guys. Thank you so much for coming in and speaking with us. Guys I’m going to leave information on how to connect with Emma here in the title page just a little bit. Thank you, Emma. Thank you, Joanne. Thank you, Erik. Love you all!
Erik: I love you Mama! I’ll be heading with you.
Emma: He’s coming to the plane. So he’ll be sitting in-between you and dad. He calls him Papa for some reason.
Me: Oh. Yes, Papa. It’s Papa. Do you want to share anything else Emma with people?
Yes you can find this Sunday and me at http://www.emanuellemcintosh.com we’re going to have a Learn It Alive class for beginner mediumship and we have for sept 9, the Channeling Erik day in Belgium. So there’s two more days to sign up for that. After that I’m sorry I’m going to have to disappoint you. But everything has been going great. We have about 30 people from around the world, including the states and Canada. Very cool.
Me: Thank you Emma.
Emma: Love you guys!
Me: Bye bye!
Erik: Byeee!
Here’s the YouTube if you prefer watching over reading.
Check out last night’s radio show! Oh, and some of you have been on several times to ask questions while others have tried for months. I’m going to ask those of you who have gotten on to speak with Erik to wait 6 months before trying again so others have a chance. Thanks!
