Ask Erik Column, Part Two

Okay guys. Tomorrow is the day, more specifically 5 PM PT/7 PM CT/8 PM ET. If the radio show bombs again due to technical glitches, I seriously will drop more F bombs than Erik has in his entire heavenly existence. I’d rather have my tongue tied to a hot tailpipe and my naked body dragged over broken glass than disappoint you, so I’m just going to make things very, very simple. If you want to listen to the show, just click on its icon on the righthand sidebar of the blog or click HERE. If you want to ask Erik questions, don’t bother with the chatroom. Too complicated. Just call me at 619-639-4606 and you’ll get right into the queue. Please no validation questions. You can call in no more than 15 minutes ahead of time. Now let’s finish up with the Ask Erik questions from the issue before the current one that’s brewing.

If you missed Kim, Erik and me on The Outlander with Heidi Hollis, listen HERE. We had more fun on that show that nearly all others! For more shows, go to Heidi’s website.

Whenever I feel depressed or have a bad day, what can I do to get in a better mood spiritually?

Thank you Erik, Elisa and Jamie for answering questions I have wondered about my entire life, keep doing what you`re doing.

–Esmatt Morra

Thank you for this question, Esmatt, because it’s going to resonate with a lot of people. First, know that just because you had a shitty morning doesn’t mean you have to have a shitty day, or just because you had a shitty day doesn’t mean you have to have a shitty evening. Think about it like this. If you drop your cell phone, and it doesn’t break, you’re not going to want to stomp on it to make sure it does. The same concept applies to this question. If you had a rough morning, you don’t have to continue to resonate there for the rest of the day to shoot that all to hell as well. Also, know that the reason people have shitty days is they become uprooted from themselves. That’s partly because they have expectations for certain outcomes. If you can detach from those expectations, it will help you surrender and accept more. So, coming home and getting rid of the shittiness of your day comes from self-reflection and realizing that you had expectations that things would play out the way you wanted. Maybe you expected the receptionist to be her usual cheery self but she was sullen. Maybe you thought the boss would give you props for your presentation, but he was too absorbed with something else. Maybe a meeting didn’t go the way you expected. That’s fine, but you don’t have to let it pull you away from who you are. Stay rooted in yourself, always. Also, don’t place your emotions in front of you. For example, don’t wake up thinking, “Well, it’s going to be another shitty day at work” because you’ll get what you ask for.

*****

Dear Elisa,

I am hoping you would be able to ask Erik this question from me.  It’s a question for my mother who passed Nov. 27, 2010.  Her name is Lorena although everyone knew her as Rena. She was born April 5, 1939, in Bayview, Nova Scotia, Canada. She passed on in Pictou, Nova Scotia.

I really have a need to know if, when I was 14 and was sent to stay with my great aunt and her husband, my mom sent me on purpose, knowing or guessing the uncle would sexually assault me. This man apparently had quite the history with 14 year-old girls. He even did jail time for it when I was much smaller. It turned out my mom and many others were well aware of this. Relatives had warned my mom not to send me there, but I went unsuspectingly anyway.

I know it’s a terrible thing to ask of you and Erik, but either way, I’d really like to know. It truly would help me in my healing. I have forgiven my mom and the man who molested me for 6 weeks, all thanks you and your wonderful son!  Still, I need this answered for me.

Thank you for your time.  I love you, Elisa, and I love Erik and all you both have done for my family!

Sincerely,

Peggy

This is hard, and I need to explain the human or physical side as well as the spiritual side of this question. There was a spiritual contract involved that you designed for yourself. You wanted to learn how to understand and overcome victimhood to develop self-trust. When this happened to you, you lost trust in your mother and in yourself. The lesson also involves learning how to forgive because that’s part of what needs to happen to overcome this trauma. On the human or physical side of it, yes, your mother knew on a conscious level that there’d be a risk of you being sexually abused, but she chose to bury her head in the sand and remain in denial. I’m not going to bullshit you here. This wasn’t even on an unconscious level for her. It’s not that she didn’t care. She just lacked the ability to be proactive, including “keep your daughter away from this risk.” She knew she should be proactive but chose not to be.

******

When people die, do they have a choice to go into the tunnel of light or not go? This is assuming they see a tunnel of light or an enticing light of some kind. Does everyone see this light or only some? What is its purpose? Who put it there and what happens if you go into it vs. not going? It makes me wonder if Erik saw the tunnel. I don’t recall him

mentioning it.

Thanks 🙂

Sincerely,

Adrienne Fox

The kind of transition you experience is based on what your beliefs are about it. If you expect to see a white tunnel because you’ve heard people experience that during a near death experience, that’s what you’ll get. If you’re an atheist and think that the lights just go out when you die, you’ll experience darkness. Whether you get the tunnel or not doesn’t affect your transition or where you go. Everyone ends up Home. And the tunnel isn’t really some kind of tube or portal. It’s more like a state of existence. It’s Love. Love is the energy that’s All There Is. That’s the transitional phase where your guides will come in to help you understand what has just happened and what’s going to happen next. That unconditional love makes the transition more comfortable. As for who put it there, I love that question. It’s a constant existence that has always been there. It’s God, All There Is, Love. And by the way, it’s not like you have to travel through some tunnel to get to Heaven. I didn’t perceive it as a tunnel, really. I just arrived in this white space but again, that white space is All There Is.

*****

Hei Erik, Dr. Elisa Medhus and Kim,

My question is on feeling guilt and a low sense of self worth. I am at a point in my life where I am having a lot of changes going on, good life-altering changes, but I have come to the point where I feel guilty for sometimes prioritizing myself. I had a very neglectful and traumatic childhood. My way of dealing with it all was to suppress and not talk about it. For the last 2 years, I´ve allowed myself to breakdown and open the floodgates. It’s been hard and painful, but recently I started rebuilding myself up and finally feeling hopeful and joyful. I am in my 20s and sometimes feel that my breakdown has set me back in pursuing my dream. I am learning how to accurately describe my feelings and allow myself to feel them all and also learn from them. I am learning how to love myself wholeheartedly and be emotionally honest. So my question is: How does one deal with guilt? How does guilt look like from your perspective, Erik?

Thank you and greetings from Oslo,

Alexis Berchie.

Being half Norwegian, I gotta give a big shout out to Norway! Okay, as to your question: During your childhood, you were never taught how to put yourself first. In fact, you were trivialized in a way that discouraged that. You were never shown your true value. I gotta tell you, guilt is fucked up. It’s a self-created, self-inflicted emotion that’s derived from self-blame. From our perspective, there’s no such thing, but humans have to place blame, and they’ll often place it on themselves. You should never shy away from putting yourself first. If you don’t, everything else is going to be fucked up as well. Root yourself in who you truly are and put yourself—your mental, emotional and physical health—as the number one priority or you’re not going to be any good for anything or anyone else. One thing I would suggest is a mantra. These can be very powerful. Every day, even several times a day, tell yourself, “I am worthy.” You’re worthy of everything from something as simple and mundane as time to yourself in a bubble bath with a glass of wine to something as glorious as unconditional love.

*****

How do you know when someone is lying?

–Maya

If you’re sensitive enough, you can feel a shift in that person’s energy. If you listen to your heart, your intuition, you can pick this up and sometimes even avoid a disaster. People are so afraid to listen to themselves because they place more faith in external guidance. Believe it or not, sometimes you’re not supposed to know the truth. Sometimes people will lie to you and there’s a purpose behind it like maybe you’re forced to do more research and gain a better understanding of something. Sometimes it’s a lesson in self-trust. It’s all about an experience. Still, it can be really shitty. It hurts when you’re lied to. It’s like a betrayal.

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Elisa Medhus