Back in the Saddle Again with Sexual Harassment

Hello all. I had a wonderful respite, time to heal from all the negative drama that had built up over time. Now, I have a group of mediums to work with, hand selected by Erik, and we’re going to only do YouTubes. Of course they’ll be published on my channel, but also this blog. Posts will be every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Whatever transcripts I have, however, I’ll post, as I’m doing today. I have 5 outstanding videos to post, then it’ll be all new material.

As I took time to reflect over these few months, I see a pattern in my life that’s very interesting. I love helping people, as you know, but it seems like everyone I help turns around and hurts or betrays me. I know there’s a lesson in there somewhere, and I’m working on figuring that out so that the pattern is broken. I think my mistake is that when the recipient of my help starts to crap on me, I keep helping them. I think that has been a mistake. It’s better to cut ties when that happens so that less harm is done. So, I’m a work in progress, learning like we all do.

Before we get into the main subject for today, I’d like to announce a couple of things. First, our own Patrick De Haan has a new book published and it’s fascinating. Check it out:

Here’s the back cover:

The Alien Handbook – A Guide to Extraterrestrials

©2018 Patrick De Haan CPCU   Ozark Mountain Publishing

The Alien Handbook is about alien extraterrestrial civilizations regularly coming to Earth. It provides detailed interviews and comprehensive information about alien ET origins, technologies, purposes and reasons for visiting Earth.

The origin of humanity at the hand of alien extraterrestrial visitors is well explained.

Unmistakable signs of alien ET visits, from crop circles to sightings of their craft in the sky, have consistently given rise to speculation, intense interest, debate and even fear, when the possibility of extraterrestrial visitors is considered.

This book explains the motives of extraterrestrials and prepares mankind for our cousins from nearby regions of the galaxy.

Alien physical traits, methods of communication, contact with world leaders, defense techniques, observations and opinions of human societies are all explored. Disbelievers will always doubt, no matter what is suggested. The deliberately unaware will likely face the biggest shock when aliens reveal themselves in irrefutable ways.

Readers of this book, far better informed, will be curious, pleased, some even happily amazed. Alien technology and their outright intervention will not come to solve mankind’s troubles. Our origin, history and potential, as patiently explained by our cousin visitors, will provide understanding we do not now possess, currently unaware as we are, of our membership in an established galactic community.

Welcome to the Milky Way.

The second announcement: Our weekly radio show will begin again this Thursday and will be on Thursdays from here on out at 7 PM CT. For the first 20 minutes, Ryan Adragna will discuss boundaries. In his own words: “The one thing that I’ve been working on my customers a lot with is ‘boundaries’ or the ‘lack of’ — if you don’t have solid robust boundaries on the spiritual, emotional, and mental planes of your existence, then your energy field is very susceptible to negative energies from persons, places, and things.” After that, Erik will take callers. If you want to talk to him, call 619-639-4606 15 minutes prior to the hour.

Last, here’s a great article from Ireland’s own Positive Life Magazine, all about Erik!

And now for our YouTube:

Here’s the transcript, courtesy of Carol McIntosh!

Veronica: Hello.

Elisa: Hi. Oh, my God, I had that same shirt on yesterday.

Veronica: (laughs) I feel like a lumberjack.

Elisa: I love it; that’s one of my favourite shirts. Okay, so, hello, Veronica. Hi Erik.

Erik: Hi, Mama.

Elisa: Love you.

Veronica: He’s really — he’s cut — he’s been with me in all my sessions today and he and I are, like, “Ahh, we’re ready.”

Elisa: Oh, good.

Veronica: (laughs)

Elisa: Okay, well, we’ve got two interesting topics to talk about today. The first is one that seems to be very timely: all these people, women, coming out of the woodwork with these allegations of sexual harassment, misconduct —Veronica:   Mm-hmm.

Elisa: — rape, et cetera, starting with Harvey Weinstein, and I guess that one courageous soul came out and now they’re all coming out of the woodwork saying, “Well, she survived, so…“ So, let’s talk aboutthat, Erik, from your perspective with a spiritual slant on it. I mean, because, guess what? It happens within the Hollywood elite, the media elite, beauty pageants, et cetera.

Veronica: He’s showing me an egg, and it’s like he’s cracking the egg open and just watching all of the inside pour out.

Erik: This is exactly what we can expect to happen right through 2018. It’s like a major cracking open of, not only on the public level, on the big level, but it’s in our everyday life. The reason is because we are in the prime of shifting energy. We are shifting power back to the feminine.

Elisa: I knew it. Yes, we’re going to become a matriarchal society again. Woo-hoo.

Erik: We always have been, but it’s been egos that have pushed that away. It’s not father earth; it’s mother earth. And, furthermore, this is put out there in a big way to heal every little crack and crevice because the small person, the person not on TV, not in front of the camera, maybe doesn’t have the voice or the recourse —

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — or the knowhow —

Elisa: Right, right.

Erik: — to deal with this.

Elisa: Right.

Erik: And as it becomes more mainstream, they understand.


Elisa: Right, okay, okay.

Erik: So, that’s the reason for the big picture.

Elisa: Okay, okay. Arleen, are you staying in? Yeah, we’ve got a stupid echo. I wonder… Let me just…

Veronica: I see a blonde head.

Elisa: Who could that be? That’s Arleen.

Veronica: I’m good. Are you good?

Elisa: Yup, but I just hear an echo. Does anybody know what causes echoes on Skype video recording and can you all leave your comment?

Veronica: And I did get all my internal stuff updated. My speed is really good.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: I had it all updated, so hopefully —

Elisa: Yeah, you look really clear. You look really clear.

Veronica: Hopefully, this is going to help us. But, anyway —

Elisa: Keep talking and I’ll look on Google real quick so I can see what to change.

Veronica: Okay.

Elisa: Yeah, keep on going.

Veronica: Erik, can we go a little bit deeper with this?

Erik: As usual, it brings up soul contracts for us, and so what that comes down to is every soul that experiences this violation of sorts has come in to know the opposite of what it experienced before. So, in a soul — from a soul perspective, it’s supposed to be happening that way for that individual soul.

Elisa: Mm-hmm.

Erik: As a collective, we have to know the opposite. So, we have to experience this devastation, this invasion, this violation so that we can take seriously private rights. That’s what it’s —

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: — all coming down to.

Veronica: And he’s showing me a big needle and he’s weaving this together.

Erik: The violations, the physical violations —

Elisa: Mm-hmm.

Erik: — we have violations on the government level where people are getting raped and taken advantage of and it’s constant. It’s going to come out more and more as violations. Whether it’s in the physical realm, the spiritual realm, all the different realms, we’re going to see violation because we have to pop the head; it has to come open. And that’s exactly what’s happening.

Veronica: You know, most notably, he’s taking us back to Bill Cosby.

Erik: You know —Elisa: Okay, okay.

Erik: — we put people up on a pedestal because they make us feel a certain way and we believe a certain image about them that we watch on TV. The media wants us to believe, you know, here’s Mr. Cosby, Mr. Huxtable and, in reality, he couldn’t be further from the truth, but yet we’re so hell bent on believing who this man is.

Veronica: Oh, and now he’s on a tangent here ‘cause now he’s taking me back to O.J.

Erik: Look at how we glorified O.J. —

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — and how O.J. was a predator —

Elisa: Yes.

Erik: — was a predator. And, so, this has been going on throughout the ages. However, the reason we’re shifting is because it’s becoming a dynamic, a feminine energy taking over. She doesn’t have to sit in the White House.


Elisa: Yeah.


Erik: She can and she will at some point when the right candidate comes along because we don’t want to just sit a woman in there because we sit a woman in there because, you know, we feel we should.

Elisa: Right, right.

Erik: Wait for the right candidate, and she’s — you know, this may not be a popular statement, but she’s not appeared yet.

Veronica: (laughing)

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: So, she’s not on the — she’s not on the front burner, by any means, to go into the White House. However, the feminine energy is taking over 2018 —

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — in a major way —

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: — so…

Elisa: All right; that’s good. So, they also seem to use sexual harassment sometimes to punish people. For example, you know, there’s some indication that people are trying to unseat the Alabama senator-wanna be, something or other Moore —

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: — by alleging sexual allegations that didn’t occur, or that did occur, but they want to unseat him and gain a senate seat. Is that true? Could that possibly be true?

Veronica: The allegations? Are the allegations true?

Elisa: Oh, we’ll start out with that.

Veronica: Yeah.

Erik: Things are not as they appear —

Elisa: Hmm, okay.

Erik: — and there is a lot of malignancy in the field of politics.

Elisa: Oh, God, and on both sides too.

Erik: It’s not — there’s no discrimination; it’s equal. The malignancy has seeped in and it’s mushroomed. What started out as one little thing has blown into a massive, massive destroyer, a campaign — not a campaign destroyer, a life destroyer.

Elisa: Yeah, look at poor Charlie Rose, Frank, and all these — of course, they admitted wrongdoing, but their lives are — Harry Weinstein — I don’t know how many guys, but hey, they had it coming. Is Moore innocent or guilty?

Erik: There’s going to be a whole bunch more guilty that come out because there was an era that we lived in that we lived in with the good old boys —

Elisa: Slapped the butts and all that.

Erik: Right. And at some point, you know, it was taken as a compliment where, as the feminine energy grew and shifted more into power, into assertion —

Elisa: Mm-hmm.Erik: — into a sense of, hey, you know, if this doesn’t feel right and spoke up for it — this has nothing to do with burning the bras or being a —

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — or being a feminist. This has to do with human dignity —-

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — human rights.

Elisa: Really, did women ever like being slapped on the butt back in the 1950s and 60s and whatnot? Did some?

Erik: There was a mentality that that —

Veronica: Again, he’s going back to what you believed, what you were raised with, and I think we find that for all generations. You know, I heard a story about a mother that cut a roast beef in half, and I think maybe we talked about this, or my sister and I were talking about it, why do you cut the roast beef in half? Well, generations did. Well, the original person cut the roast beef in half because the whole thing wouldn’t fit in the oven.

Elisa: (Laughs)

Veronica: Well, in 2017, it will fit in the oven, but she cut it in half because that’s what she was told to do.

Elisa: Ovens were smaller then, probably.

Veronica: Right, exactly.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: So, Erik’s point is times have changed and, yes, back in the 50s, back in the 40s, you know, it was, you know, flutter and do this and, you know, and, and, the femme fatale —

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: — you know?

Erik: It was a thing. But this is all part of the prescription of migrating, transitioning into feminine power.

Veronica: Hi, beauty, beautiful.

Elisa: Say, “Hi” real quick and then go see Mommy. Say, “Hi.” That’s Arleen.

Veronica: Hi.

Elisa: Come here; give me a kiss.

Arleen: No.

Elisa: That will get rid of her.

Veronica: (laughs) That will get rid of her.

Elisa: Yeah. All right, so —

Erik: But it’s all for the good; it’s all for the shift, so it has to happen.

Elisa: But Michael Moore, did he do what that one woman — I can’t remember her name because I don’t follow the news much — did he do what she claimed him to do?

Veronica: Is Michael Moore the filmmaker?

Elisa: No, no, not Michael Moore. Oh, maybe it’s Michael Moore. Anyway, Moore —

Veronica: The politician.

Elisa: Judge Moore.

Veronica: The politician.

Elisa: The politician, sorry.

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Erik: He did a variation of it, so it’s not as significant as it’s being portrayed, but if we’re looking at it as an invasion, yes, there was an invasion.

Elisa: All right.

Erik: Okay?

Elisa: Now what about Bill Clinton? Did he do everything that, like, Broderick — what was her name? Anita Broderick or? Juanita Broderick claims that he raped her. A lot of other people claim that —

Veronica: Listen, this is no — this is not a political thing. I want to be clear because Erik is saying politics do not have a place here.

Elisa: Oh, okay.

Veronica: We’re talking Bill Clinton as a human being, and this is what Erik is doing, wiping off the dirt, wiping off the filth, wiping off the —

Elisa: Well, what does he mean?

Veronica: Bill Clinton is dirty.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: He’s icky.

Elisa: He’s a horn dog.

Veronica: Yeah.

Erik: You know what? He did what he did because he could do it.

Veronica: Because, and this is the whole thing, Erik is wanting us to understand it’s all about power.

Elisa: Yeah. I mean, politicians are people who seek power, and people who seek —

Veronica: Yes.

Elisa: — are going to tend to want to seek power in other ways too, like over women so, yeah.

Veronica: Absolutely. It’s going to be most prominent in powerful people of influence, but his concern is for the little person, the layperson —

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: — who, maybe she goes to work every day and feels like, “I’m being harassed, but I have no recourse.”

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: You know? And it’s a disgusting feeling. I’ve been on that end of it —

Elisa: Me too.

Veronica: — and it’s a very disgusting feeling, and you feel helpless.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: These big things have to come out so we can start to address the little things so the little person, the layperson, will feel like she has a voice.

Elisa: All right. Now one thing that really bothered me was when Jane Fonda stepped forward and said she knew all of the stuff that Harvey Weinstein was doing and yet she did not bring it up to the authorities. And —

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: — so what happens, a lot of people, since that awareness of hers, were hurt, maybe raped, et cetera.

Veronica: Mm-hmm. Oh —

Elisa: And I think people like that should be —

Veronica: Or as guilty, Erik says.

Elisa: — should be penalized. They are as guilty; really they should be penalized.

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: They should — that should be a felony to sit there and look the other way —

Veronica: Yup.

Elisa: — when someone is being hurt. What do you think, Erik?

Erik: Absolutely, culpability. They are absolutely, positively equally as guilty.

Veronica: He’s taking us to the Penn State event, you know? The dominos fell because Penn State finally got it right. They finally kept going after, you know, the layers. Erik is saying that we’re — we have this scandal —

Elisa: Wait, wait, say that again.

Veronica: — left, he’s saying.

Elisa: Say that last sentence

Erik: We haven’t seen the biggest scandal yet. We haven’t seen it; it’s about to come.

Veronica: And his prediction to me — he’s whispering to me — it will probably break next fall. Meanwhile, he’s showing steps where there will be steps of all these little incidents where they will escalate and finally you’ll get to the big Kahuna, and when it falls, it’s going to be hard and heavy.

Elisa: Is it going to be the politics?

Erik: Public eye, very public eye. We’ve already had the President, so it’s not — how much higher could it go —

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: — politically? So, no, not politically.   Religion shouldn’t surprise us, okay, because we’ve had —

Elisa: Uh-oh, the —

Erik: — big things in religion.

Elisa: Oh, wouldn’t that be awful?

Veronica: Oh, and, you know, I love the Pope. (laughs)

Elisa: Now, we won’t speculate. We’ll just find out.

Erik: You know, it’s not going to be politics because we’ve gone to the highest of high in politics. You know, we’ve had the hair in the Coke with the Supreme Court ju — I mean, politics is a given. This is going to shock and rock.

Elisa: Wow.

Veronica: But he won’t tell me who.

Elisa: Okay, well, we’re not to meant to know yet; that’s fine. He had to leave (?) history.   All right.

Veronica: Yeah.

Elisa: So, I would hope — I believe that — well, of course, a woman should be believed. On the other hand, these guys are innocent until proven guilty. Everybody in our country is innocent until proven guilty.

Erik: Well, absolutely, but here’s the problem: the line has become so blurred as to what guilt looks like —

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: — because people are defining for themselves in their own minds what guilt looks like, and they’re using perception as the basis.

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: Louis C.K. used his comedy saying it was okay if he hung his dick out in girls’ faces —

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — when in reality, you know, Louis hid behind — you know, we might laugh at that, but if Louis is putting his dick in my face, I’m not going to think that’s funny. But Louie got away with it to some extent because he is funny and he used his authority as being funny.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: So…

Elisa: I still love Louis C.K.

Veronica: Oh, listen, I’m going to tell you something. He might be a scumbag, whatever, I laugh my ass off.   Write letters, I don’t care, hate me, whatever, I think the man’s hysterical. Had he put his dick in my face, mm-hmm, I probably would have dealt with it differently. (laughs)

Elisa: I probably would have slapped it away.

Veronica: (laughing) Yeah.

Elisa: So…

Veronica: But we’re older; we know. (laughing)

Elisa: Yeah, we know better.

Veronica: (laughing) Yeah.

Elisa: That’s funny. So — all right. So —

Erik: This is just symbolic or symptomatic or something bigger happening for us here on earth.

Elisa: Yeah, okay.

Erik: Getting the ducks in a row.

Elisa: Yeah; all right. So, should these people – for example, a senator or what have you are found guilty of sexual harassment, should they be unseated? Should they lose their position? Likewise with people in jobs, should they actually be fired for what they’re doing?

Erik: Yes, absolutely. Back in the day, there would have been a public stoning.

Veronica: (laughs)

Erik: They would have just thrown stones at you. Now they just kind of slap you on the wrist and you get to continue to be President of the United States.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: But the laws will get stricter and don’t make the mistake of sweeping this under the mental illness carpet.

Elisa: Oh, yeah, they all go to sex — they’re all sex addicts and, oh, yeah, they go for the sex rehab.

Erik: No, no, no, it ain’t mental illness. You are a pervert; you’re a control freak; you’re a power hound.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: Don’t sweep it under the mental illness carpet.

Veronica: I agree.

Elisa: I agree too.

Veronica: Yeah.

Elisa: All right. So, what else? What is the spiritual basis behind it? Are there spiritual contracts on the part of the women?

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: Or on the part of the men? I mean, could it be that this is — a woman who experiences this is going to — it’s a spiritual contract for her to learn self empowerment —

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: — et cetera? On both sides, tell me about it.

Erik: You can take any incident, but because we’re talking about sexual harassment, we’ll take this incident, and you can say the victim and the perpetrator, okay? So, the victim and the perpetrator have agreed on some level to come into this life because, at some point in the past, they have had a relationship – victim-perpetrator, but it got switched. So, now to create balance in the soul, the victim needs to become the perpetrator and the perpetrator needs to become a victim, and these two will play out the contract together.

Elisa: For example, Bill Clinton probably —

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: — probably was a victim, maybe not as Juanita Broderick, but it could have been —

Veronica: Right, right.

Elisa: — and Broderick, whatever her name is, was a predator. So, is that what you’re talking about?

Erik: He could have been a victim of anything.

Elisa: Oh, okay.

Erik: Victim mentality.Elisa: Ahhh…

Erik: Because as you’re a victim, you learn one set of skills, one set of soul lessons. When you flip over and become the perpetrator of anything, you learn a different skill set. So, it’s not necessarily that I was a victim sexually. I could have been a victim of — you know, perhaps I was a witch in the Salem witch trials and I erroneously got hung and, you know, that kind of thing.

Elisa: Okay, so, what should the threshold be? I mean, what’s permissible? Should a man be able to flirt or, you know, can they not ask for somebody’s number? My God, if everybody who did this level of sexual harassment, all Italian men who cat call, they would be jobless, so…

Erik: Well, here’s the thing. We’ve become a society out of control. We’re very litigious. If you look at me the wrong way, I’m going to sue you. Here’s the thing. If it feels disgusting and dirty and you feel like you have to go home and take a shower afterwards, you can bet you were sexually harassed. If somebodyopens the door for you and calls you “honey” or “sweetheart,” is that going to make you want to go — it’s all perception.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: So, where do you draw the line? Because, listen, quite frankly, I’m 55 years old. You can open the door for me; you could buy me dinner; you could –whatever you want to do; I’m good with that. Keep your hands off me. (laughs)

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: (laughs) You know?

Elisa: Exactly.

Erik: It’s all perception of the individual. As a society, we need to get it right. We need to get the safety and the security and the stigma out. We need to just get it all out there, lay it all out and get a formal understanding of what is appropriate, get an operating manual how to be a decent human being.

Veronica: (laughing)

Elisa: That’s a good one, Erik. But, I mean, you know, some women have different standards, so what’s a guy to do? What if she’s like, “How dare you open the door? You’re sexually harassing me.”

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: I mean, so —

Veronica: Well —

Elisa: — what’s a guy to do? Poor guys.

Veronica: Yes.

Erik: You know what? Just use morality as your compass.

Veronica: He’s, like, flying over and he’s, like, taking an aerial view.

Erik: Morality has gone down the shitter.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik:   So, you know, forget about the leaders teaching us morality. Forget about going to school. You know what? You’ve got to turn inward for morality.

Elisa: Yes.

Erik: And that’s where this whole spiritual evolution is taking us. This is why we’re having these conversations, because shit don’t work that we’ve been doing for eons and eons, and so now it’s time to get the soul involved, get the other side involved —

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: — and bring forward some really dynamic changes that can make things different in this world, and have people take personal responsibility. Everybody is always looking to pass the buck, you know? Pass the buck, pass the buck.Veronica: Now, he’s not saying that these sexually harassed women were asking for it. Please don’t write letters and say that, because Erik is saying clarify that.

Elisa: Oh, God.

Veronica: No, we know that’s not the case.

Erik: Everybody in this society is looking to pass the buck. Take ownership to who you are, the choices you make and, really, women can protect themselves by watching, you know, how they conduct themselves. It’s an equal thing. So, if I’m a woman and I sit here and I say, you know, I’m going to go and I’m going to have my boobs out and I’m going to sit at the bar and (?), you know, I should be able to do that, is what people will say, but the reality is: do I feel good about me doing that? Does that feel good to me? So, use your own compass, your own morality. It may feel good to somebody else, but it doesn’t feel good to me. So, that’s kind of the example of using your own judgment when it comes to morality.

Veronica: I hope that makes sense.

Elisa: Let’s talk about it from the man’s perspective.

Veronica: Mm-hmm. So, Erik is saying he’s the resident man. Yeah, you are.

Elisa: (laughs)

Veronica: (laughs)

Erik: From the man’s perspective, it’s like a whole twisted ball of yarn or something because there’s double standards. If a woman does it, it’s different.   So, why do double standards exist? Why can a woman pay a compliment to a man, or why can —

Veronica: Oh, here he’s going.

Elisa: Oh, here he goes.

Erik: Why can a woman date an older man and nobody thinks anything of it, but the minute a man dates a younger girl — there is a double standard when it comes to the sexes. So, as far as the men go, use your judgement. Don’t change everything about who you are, but listen, if you’re slimy and sleazy, you’ve got to feel that; don’t you think? Like, you know, like, Dude, if you were here — you know, when you were here, if you grabbed somebody’s boob — I mean, you might have wanted to, but you kind of knew you shouldn’t do that. Right? That’s common sense.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: Every man wants to grab a boob.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: His words.

Erik: But every man should know you can’t grab a boob.

Elisa: Yes.

Veronica: (laughs) So, that’s what he’s saying.

Erik: And, you know, as far as men, use your judgement, use morality, keep your hands to yourself, you know; almost don’t go behind closed doors. Listen, we’re getting into a world where you can’t even be friends with people —

Elisa: Ohhh.

Erik: — without people thinking something.

Elisa: Yeah, that’s too bad.

Erik: So, that’s a good question: Can men and women be friends?

Elisa: Yeah, can they? They should be able to.

Erik: For soul contract work, men and women have to be friends. They have to connect; they have to interact. It’s all part of it. Again, it’s a cesspool of morality. The morality is a cesspool.

Elisa: I know. Also, what is the spiritual — usual spiritual contract for guys who are predators, sexual predators?

Veronica: Predators?

Elisa: Besides the balancing of energy.

Veronica: Mm-hmm. So, what is the contract for males who are predators?

Elisa: Or, you know, just sexual harassers, or whatever.

Veronica: Sexual harassment.

Erik: It all varies, depending on what they’ve experienced, depending on the level of invasion.

Elisa: Mm-hmm. Maybe respect; probably is a lesson with respect maybe or —

Erik: Absolutely. Obviously, yes, respect is one thing, but also —

Veronica: This is interesting.

Erik: — humility.

Elisa: Oh, I was wondering that. I think I’ve channelled that from Erik because I get pooh, humility. All right; good.

Erik: Humility, and that’s a big one. That’s a big one, especially the power trips, you know, the…

Elisa: Yeah, that ego is just too big.

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Erik: Look at me and all my (?) —

Elisa: Yeah, yeah.

Erik: It’s humility; it’s respect; it’s boundaries —

Elisa: Mm-hmm, okay.

Erik: — you know?

Elisa: Real quick. Of course there are some incidents where females sexually harass males.

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: Can you —

Veronica: Oh.

Elisa: — say anything about that?

Erik: Again, that’s the inequity. There’s the imbalance.

Veronica: Why — you know, he assures absolutely it’s happening —

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: — but why don’t we see it?

Erik: Women know the line. They know the line. They know when to back off in most cases.

Veronica: Now he’s not saying it’s all women, because some men know when to back off too, but he’s saying it’s not mainstream. Oh, he’s saying male, macho. What male — it’s macho; it’s ego — what male is going to come out and say, “Well, she sexually harassed me?” Well, there have been and we know that happens, but it’s more unlikely —

Elisa: Sure, sure.

Erik: — that that’s going to happen.

Veronica: Now he’s also — interestingly enough, this big thing that’s coming out, it may be the role reversal. We may see the men will come out. In fact, he’s saying it will be the opposite of what we’ve seen.

Elisa: Mmm.

Veronica: That should be interesting.

Elisa: Interesting. All right.

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Elisa: Last question. What advice do you have for men or women who encounter sexual harassment? How should they handle this with the person and with authorities, or whatever?

Erik: The first thing is if you’re going to confront, be very careful and to not do it in private because, you know, unfortunately, again going back to the litigiousness and all of that, you know, have a witness. We live in a world where you can send a documented piece of paper, send a text message, send an email, anything. Get it out there, get your voice out there.

Elisa: Otherwise, the person will say, “Oh, it was consensual.” Yeah.

Erik: Right. Get your voice out there. Whatever you do, don’t tip toe around looking for something to happen, but just be mindful if it doesn’t, the longer you hold onto it, the more it festers, so speak up right away.

Veronica: Now I’m going to challenge that and I’m going to say I know when that happened to me in the workplace, I was — I didn’t feel safe. I felt I was going to lose my job.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: So, what — you know, in that case, what is the prescription there? Like, what do we do about that?

Erik: Again, it’s the individual’s need to be courageous and to step up, because we have to believe the universe will balance out.

Veronica: So, even if I had lost my job —

Elisa: Yeah, but there are worse things.

Veronica: Totally.

Erik: How do you know what would have come off of that? So, at all costs, do not stay silent. That’s true for all victims.

Elisa: Yeah, because then the victimizer is going to victimize more victims.

Erik: Right. So, for every one person that stays quiet, there’s four more people that are being victimized.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: So, that’s huge.

Elisa: Anything else you want to add, Erik?

Veronica: He says he’s good with this. He gets on a roll and he’s saying he could just digress and this could spiral down into so many areas of life. But he’s saying whoever is listening to this, if you’re suffering and if you’re being victimized and you feel oppressed — that’s a big word for him — you feel oppressed, turn to a help number, turn to a help line. Don’t keep it to yourself. And, you know, whatever you do, if you’re going confront, he says make sure you’re safe when you confront.

Elisa: Okay. And what do you say to the person who sexually — what’s a good line for something to say?

Erik: Always make it about you.

Elisa: “Back, the fuck, up.”

Veronica: Yeah, well, that’s what I would say.

Elisa: Yeah.

Veronica: He always says you make it about you. “I don’t feel comfortable with this behaviour.”

Elisa: Okay.

Veronica: “I don’t like the way this makes me feel.” You know, we talk in “I” statements. We’re taught to talk in “I” statements. He’s saying use your “I” statements; you know?

Elisa: Yeah, because if you attack and say, “You” —

Veronica: Yes.

Elisa: — “are blah, blah, blah,” then they may escalate.

Erik: Yes, because here’s the reality. We can only know what’s true for us.

Elisa: Yeah.

Erik: If I say, “This makes me uncomfortable,” that’s my perception; I’m allowed to have that. That’s my truth.

Elisa: Okay.

Erik: Tell your truth in “I” statements.

Elisa: Sounds good. Okay, thank you, Erik. Thank you, Veronica.

Veronica: Bye.

Elisa: You guys can check out Veronica at: Anything you want to share, Veronica?

Veronica: No, I’m happy to be here and we’re ready to go. We’re onto the next.

Elisa: All right, I’m going to try to eliminate the echo, which is a little bit better now, but I want to see what happens when I just do not use headphones, so…

Veronica: Okay.

Elisa: Back at you.

Veronica: Sounds good.

Elisa: I need to change the settings; I finally do.

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