And now for some lighthearted, good clean fun. Erik discusses the existence of mythical creatures. Some he’s sure about, others he’s going to gather more information about. Don’t get lost as we venture into the enchanted forest! (God, that was lame. I hear Erik saying so. I’m an incorrigible nerd. Sigh.)
Me: Okay, now for some fun stuff! Bigfoot. Let’s talk about Bigfoot first. Then mermaids and dragons and fairies and nymphs and all sorts of mythical creatures!
Jamie giggles with delight.
Me: So, do they exist Erik? Start with Bigfoot. Is Bigfoot real?
Jamie (still laughing so hard she can barely talk): Oh my god, he says yes! Erik, explain to me please. (pause) Because this is funny, cuz this is a huge topic in our house. My husband loves Bigfoot.
Me: Oh, I love Bigfoot, too! I love watching those programs about him!
Erik: Just because—
Jamie (to Erik): God, Erik you can just rant and rave! Okay, okay, I’ll say it.
Erik: Just because humans inhabit the earth, and they believe they’re the smartest animal alive because they can document and record things and take pictures doesn’t mean that they’ve covered every inch of this earth! There is so much left unexplored. Think of the ocean, alone. We think we’ve tapped everything out, but shit, we’re just now learning that dogs have spiritual emotions.
Erik: Why didn’t we know that before?
Me: I can see it in my own puppies. So, why haven’t we found any bodies or other indisputable evidence? Tell me more.
(Long pause as Jamie listens)
Jamie: Errrikkkk! He’s saying it’s like an alien race.
Erik: They’re intelligent; they do not leave their dead behind.
Me: Oh! What, do they eat them?
Jamie: I asked the same question!
Erik: No, they don’t eat ‘em.
Me: Put them in a little rocket ship? Burn them?
Jamie: He shows me rocks, water, burials, but he’s telling me something about dimensional changes with the Bigfoot.
Erik: We live in dimensions 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and Bigfoot kinda resides in 3, 4, and 5, or 3, 4, 5, 6.
Erik: So the visual connections that we make with them, um, they inhabit a body, we can touch them, we can interact with them, but they do NOT want to communicate with us. They’re intelligent, so they’re not like at the ape level. They use tools, and they live outside and have kind of an animal-like structure, but they’ve got a very high intelligence and can travel between dimension and times.
Me: So we can see them only when our common dimensions mesh?
Erik: Yes, and that’s why it’s been so difficult to capture one alive, but so many people have had interactions with them.
Me: What about that famous film of Bigfoot walking? Is that a hoax or the real thing?
Erik: No, it’s the real thing.
Jamie: He’s saying something about a rock thrower.
Me: Hmm. Why don’t they want to talk to us? What are we, chopped liver or something?
Me: Where’s the love, Mr. Bigfoot? Don’t be a hater!
Jamie and I laugh.
Erik: I think they see us more like dogs or kitty cats.
Me: Oh my god!
Erik (laughing): It is that kind of difference.
Me: When they die, do they go to where you are, Erik?
Erik: No, because it’s like a difference race, really, like an inhabitant of a different planet or something. I’ll find out more for you later.
Me: Okay, what about dragons?
Erik: From what I understand, they’re not real, but I have to get back to you on that.
Me: Okay, and mermaids?
Erik: Big ass fish. Not real, but I’ll check.
Me: Fairies, sprites, nymphs?
Erik: Yes, there are “the little people.”
Me: Ah, the Keebler elves! That’s my main question! Please say they’re real and are busily making those cookies for us in a hollowed out tree!
Erik (teasing): Yes, Mom. In a big-ass tree. They make all the fucking cookies in the world!
Me: Yummy!! I love those little guys!
Everyone laughs hard.
Erik: The disappointing thing is when humans came across the small spirits like the sprites, the tree souls, the water souls, they were finally connecting to the soul of the earth, but unfortunately, because they’ve never seen anything like that, they immediately put tiny little human bodies on them. They don’t really have tiny human bodies with wings like butterflies.
Me: So, I’m going to have to tell my grand baby, Arleen, that Tinkerbell on her bed sheets doesn’t really look at all like that? She’ll be disappointed!
Erik: Yeah, they don’t need wings to fly around. They’re pure light energies. They have their own light. I’m sure—just like me, right now, I can shape into anything I want—but the whole idea that they’re in a tiny little human body, that’s because we design things in our own image.
Me: Yeah. Makes sense.
Erik: But, yes, they exist. They’re in every living plant. They don’t exist with the changing of the seasons, though. Like, there’s no sprite associated with weather making like Jack Frost or whatever. That’s all bullshit.
Me: What about elves and leprechauns? Mr. Lucky Charms?
Erik: Think of elves, leprechauns, same height. I bet they were cousins. No, seriously, they don’t exist, but I’ll make sure, okay?
Me: Yeah, that’d be great.
If you haven’t signed up for our July Atlanta fun fest, be sure to do so before space runs out! Even if you don’t plan to, check out the activities we planning for our three day event!
Tom’s Explanation for Why Unicorns Don’t Exist
(Wonder how it tastes?)