Channeling George Carlin, Part Three

I thought you all would love this email from our lovely long term blog member, Tracy. After she saw the painting Eric Grbich did of my Erik, she commissioned him to paint one of her own son, Adam. The finished masterpiece was no less stunning. If anyone would like his email address, let me know. My email is

This is the latest creation by the wonderful Eric Grbich.  He painted my Adam and we love the finished product! 

It’s funny, but whilst Eric was painting this, I took part in a phone conference with you all and Jamie and she told me that Adam enjoyed learning to paint, so I’m sure he’s been there with Eric, seeing how it’s done!

Elisa, I would just like to say that when I first saw the painting it took my breath away – because I had already seen it! 

A few weeks before, I had a dream where Adam held the portrait up in front of me and it looked exactly as it is.  His face was straight and serious, with those blue eyes shining through the sepia tones.  I remember staring at it for the longest time, willing it not to fade, but the image stayed with me.  I was curious to see if Eric’s portrait was the same, and it was!!  

I know Adam has been with Eric through the whole process and it was his way of showing me the finished product.  I could imagine him saying to Eric, ‘Make me look handsome for my mom!’ 

On the back, Eric wrote, ‘Tracy’s Handsome Boy’.

We all just love it so much and – like you with Erik’s portrait –  can’t bear to part with it to get it framed. 

Thank you, so much, Eric.  With your extraordinary talent, you have made the Lamont family very happy!!

And now for part three of our interview with George Carlin. It just keeps getting more and more raunchy. Sorry.

Me: Okay, so you crossed over. First it was dark, then you thought, “I am God,” then you laughed, you clapped your hands. Then what happened? How did your beliefs change at that point?

George (laughing): Well, it was interesting to think there was something greater than me. As we all know, I am the best!

Me: Biggest d%#$, best person, one step under God, eh?

George: Yes.

Erik: You and God probably don’t have any d#$% measuring contests though, do you?

Jamie laughs hard.

Erik: I wouldn’t if I were you.

Jamie (crying with laughter): You guys are killing me!

George: Wouldn’t you want that, though? Wouldn’t you want a big d#$% in your God?

Me (teasing): Oh, I would accept nothing less! But she’s a woman, so…

George: I would still want her to have a big d#$%.

Erik: She’d have to be a hermaphrodite. Or maybe she has a strap-on.

George: Only if it was black.

Me: God, we can’t put this in the book, can we? Maybe a warning is warranted.

George: I dare you. Maybe when you get to my name in your book, we’ll lay out some of the facts and the rest of it will be just blacked out just like the JFK files.

Me: That’ll take a dozen black Magic Markers.

George: You know, I think that might be the beauty and the niche in mine. All the cuss words, just black ‘em out.

Me: No! I like that! I like the curse words. They won’t recognize you without them.

George: George Carlin Stripped Down.

Me: We’ll just put “For mature audiences only.”

George: Yeah, that’ll really work!

Me: Well, people just need to learn how to lighten up. Now, can you describe your surroundings when you crossed over into the afterlife? You said nobody greeted you at first, but that’s because of your atheistic beliefs. Did things eventually unfold? Did loved ones come? Tell me what happened.

George: You want me to talk about when the lights came on.

Me: Yeah.

George: I saw one person.


Me: And who was that?

George: It was not the person I expected to see, but it was the person I needed to see.

Me: Mm.

Jamie: He’s talking about a wife!

Me: And why did you need to see her?

Jamie: His first wife.

George: I had no closure. I didn’t realize I had a broken heart.

Me: Aw.

George: Sometimes strength is too good of a Band-Aid, and you aren’t allowed to see how rotten you are inside.

Me: Aw, Sweetie. Rotten not in the sense of bad but in the sense of damaged?

George: Yeah, damaged.

Me: I’m wondering if that’s why you died from heart disease?

George: Yeah, sure. Let’s believe it’s not the Vicodin or the other drugs. Let’s believe that.

Me: Well, the drugs, whatever, that’s self-medication for a broken heart. It all ties in.

George laughs.

Me: So, what did it look like, your surroundings?

George: It was black, except where we were it was lit. Everything else was very monotone colored, black and dark, and I held her. I held her, and as we talked and I understood what my pain was about and what my life was and who I was to her, then I got to see more.

Me: Mm. And what was it that you saw?

George: I saw other people who I knew, most of them I didn’t, but even though my heart didn’t know their faces, I knew they were friends, not foes. It had to be one of the most humbling experiences I’ve ever had.

Me: I can imagine.

George: And it was through this that my wife taught me how I could watch our family on Earth. She explained how she knew everything that had been happening and going on.


Me: Are y’all still together?


Jamie: He’s taking about being a bigamist.

Me: You’re a bigamist over there?

George: No, I still have a wife on Earth. One living, one dead. I don’t want to trade them in, one for another, so why can’t I keep them both?

Me: Of course! 

George Carlin on Death and Dying

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Elisa Medhus