It’s been such lovely weather since the hurricane: 65-70s, clear sky, crisp air. Autumn is my favorite season. Winter’s okay because I love winter clothes, but I have to store away my flip flops, which is a near tragedy for me. This Saturday, we’re going to decorate the house for Halloween and put out a fog machine for the trick or treaters. One of us will probably wear a scary costume so that we can scare the crap out of the toddlers when we open the door. Nah, I wouldn’t do that. Or would I? We have huge vans of kids coming from north of the freeway, and I love giving them candy, but a lot of times they grab a handful, then get back at the end of the line for more. I always recognize them though and fuss a bit. Then, later in the night, we get the older bunch: 20-25 year olds who are just in it for the candy. They don’t dress up in an elaborate costume. They might wear a neck scarf or hat or they might paint black around their eyes, but normally they do nothing. It’s hilarious. 

By the way, Jamie Butler​ has a new class coming up that’s perfect for the holidays! Check it out! It’d make a great gift as well. Click HERE to check it out. The Channeling Erik event in LA is just around the corner (November 7th) and I can’t wait to see you guys who’ll be there! I’m bringing my son, Lukas, because I want Erik and him to have a chat. It’s been a long time. 

Enjoy today’s post! It’s about one of my favorites, getting stuck. So many of us have problems moving forward. 

Me: Good morning, Jamie.

Jamie: Hi!

Me: Hey, Erik. I love you!

Erik: I love you, Mama.

Me: Can we talk about something that seems to affect at least a lot of the blog members, getting stuck in life? There are people who feel like they’re in an elevator stuck between floors. They feel like they’re in the same old rat race. Nothing is changing. They’re not getting the relationship they want. They’re not getting the career they want. They’re just stuck in a place they don’t want to be. Tell us about that.

Erik: Hi everybody! It’s good to see your shining faces, and if you’re clicking on this link, does that mean you’re stuck? Watch this. You’re probably feeling stuck or know someone who is.

Jamie (chuckling): It’s like he’s pretending he’s in a commercial.

Me: Yeah, it sounds like it!

Jamie: Announcer voice. Get this. Let’s see if I can describe the visual a little bit better. A close-up on a staircase and you’re watching somebody’s feet get on the stairs and step up and climb up and just kind of complete it, but then Erik puts the image on pause while someone puts their foot up, and they don’t have it on the step yet. It’s hanging in midair.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: This is the image of stuckness.

Jamie (smiling): That’s what we’re going to call it.

Erik: That’s what I’d put as the poster child of stuckness: when you go to follow through on something but then cannot. Midstride, you’ve stopped moving. You quit, you gave up, something else stopped you, the mud rolled in, whatever it is.

The mud rolled in??

Erik: We can look at all the environmental excuses if you want to.

Me: Give me a few.

Erik: Uh.

Me: I imagine a poor self-esteem would make you get stuck.

Erik: Oh, we’re looking at environmental excuses. Things that are outside of you. So self-esteem is inside of you, Mom.

Me: Okay.

Erik: Let’s say you’re starting a new business, and you got your name, and you did all this stuff, and now you got to go get the loan. You got everything in order, but they’re like, “No, we’re not going to give it to you.” You went to the second and the third and the fourth; you went to a private investor. Nobody is giving you any fucking money. So what do you say? “I’m fucking stuck! I’ve done everything.” Right?

Me: Yeah.

Erik: You started the process, and then your environment went (shakes head with emphasis) “Uh uh. Not going to help you.” Anything that’s stopping you in midstride that’s environmental is just a fucking excuse.

Jamie laughs.

Me: True.

Jamie: That’s harsh!

Me: That is harsh!

Erik: Well, I want to be harsh! It’s fucking true because you’re in control of yourself, and you can change what you’re doing. You can break down your process. Let’s say you don’t need the fucking hundred grand to start, but you can do a 10,000. So why don’t you fucking go with that? Oh, because you want to do it this way, and you’re being a stubborn ass!

Jamie laughs.

Me: Or you can change the business model or the business idea. Okay, I understand. Keep trying.

Erik: Keep trying to make it work, to make it succeed so that it can grow in a different way, and you reach your end goal in five years instead of two. Roll with it, people. Some days, we get these fucking blinders on where we can’t see anything, and we think that what we’re looking at is the absolute of what we need. But there’s a whole other world of choices. You’re in control. Make the changes. Okay, so if it’s not an environmental thing like my mom was saying—what’d you say, Mom?

Me: Well, there could be internal things like self-esteem. People who are—or depression—it’s hard to get the ball rolling in life when you’re feeling down about yourself or down about the world.

Erik makes the Debbie Downer sound and I repeat it. Waa, waa, waa.

Me: Debbie Downer, here.

Erik: So, when it’s internal, and it’s not your external life—let’s say your external life, your environment’s going, “Come on! Wake up! Woo! Yay!” But you can’t. You just don’t want to. You feel like a blob, and you’re stuck. It could be depression. That’s kind of another thing rather than being stuck. So you gotta look at why life isn’t happening the way that you want. Is it a physical thing? Is it a chemical thing? Go see a doctor. Gain more information about yourself, people. Then go see a therapist. Go see a life coach. Find somebody that fits you. I can’t—

Jamie (smiling and shaking her head): I don’t know what you just said. Do it again.

Erik: I can’t fucking highlight enough that if you’re seeking mental help like from a therapist, interview that person, get to know who they are, and feel if you like them or not. Don’t just roll with anything. Okay, enough said on that one. Go to that person so you can talk to them, so they can help you assess: What is your personality doing? What is your internal—?

(Pause)

Jamie (To Erik): That didn’t make sense, though.

(Pause)

Jamie: We’ll say internal needs? Okay.

Erik: What are your internal needs? Are they doable? Because a lot of times, in our culture, we’re taught, “Oh, you gotta climb the corporate ladder. You gotta make this much money. You gotta be famous.” That’s really not what you want, but you’ve been taught to set goals that are just way fucking over your head so you drown yourself. So now you’re drowning in all this shit and you’re like, “I don’t really fucking want this.” A lot of times people are stuck because they realize it’s not the fucking staircase they want to climb.

Me: Ah!

Erik: It’s just not it, and you go halfway up and you’re like, “Oh shit. Wrong fucking staircase. Okay. Okay. Okay.” And you have to ask what the fuck are you going to do? Are you going to climb back down? Can you get over to the next one? Can you make this one work until you get to the one you really want? Because somewhere along the line, you gave up what you really wanted to do. Maybe this job paid better, that person loved you better, that person, I don’t know, looked better. So you changed what your inner boundaries or needs were because you thought “better” was going to do you well in the long run, but it didn’t. You woke up, and you realized, “Fuck!”

Me: That happens a lot!

Jamie: Yes!

Erik: Yes, it happens a lot, and it happens on micro levels, too where you’re like two years into something, and you go, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” You get that feeling of wanting to push back, to back peddle. You’re about to fall into stuck if you don’t pay attention to the feeling.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: You need to make changes then when it’s a little easier, and you only have to say no to two people rather than a hundred to get out from where you are. If you’re living in the moment and really staying honest with yourself in the moment, you’re not going to end up in those stuck places.

Me: Yeah, you have to be really aware of what your needs and wants are, I guess.

Erik: It’s true. You have to be aware of how you’re feeling.

Feel first; think second.

Me: That’s right. It takes listening to your heart, and that’s hard in our society where we get so many messages from these external beacons telling us how to live. Our heart voice just gets drowned out.

Erik: Muted. A great way to bring it back out is to journal. Write it down. A great exercise to do is to write it down in third person about yourself.

Me: Mm. Interesting.

Erik: “He woke up and rolled out of bed today. His back was hurting. It was from such and such.” When you read it, you get this separated view where then you can give advice to that person in the book that you’re journaling about, which is really you.

Me: Interesting. I like that. Some people get stuck, I think, because they design some sort of spiritual contract so that they have some sort of spiritual mission, and they’ve fallen away from that. They forget what they came here to do.

Erik: Spiritual stuckness.

Me: Spiritual stuckness. There we go.

More about that tomorrow! 

How about another review!

This excellent book needs to be reviewed by the NYTimes, WSJ and other conventional press. The world must hear Erik’s message and understand the beauty of his journey. People sit frozen every day, marinating in bad news sold to us by CNN, Fox et.al. A better option is to read this book and heal /eliminate all the unnecessary fear that chokes the very life out of you. Then allow yourself to cherish your body, soul and our shared life experiences here on Earth. That’s how peaceful change comes about. Thank you Erik and Elisa. And thank you Jamie. I learn something each time we connect. You have changed my life; this book is there to guide others who are open and ready for that shift to a higher state of existence. Blessings to all.

–Patty Soffer

Buy your copy HERE.