I know this seems out of place, but I want to share a couple of YouTubes from my eldest, Kristina. She’s an anesthesia resident but for some reason finds the time to write her blog, Pretty Shiny Sparkly. Her new one is 5 Minute Makeup. It’s so good. It gives me hope for my pathetic face, so I bought all the products she used. My all time favorite (which I know I’ve posted before) is the one where her husband (an orthopedic surgery resident) puts on her makeup after she reached a certain number of YouTube subscribers. Watch it for a laugh! Click Here.
On another, I ask you to send prayers and healing energy to long time blog member, JoAnn Nichols. She’s been a member since almost the beginning. She has stage 4 metastatic cancer. We love you, JoAnn.
Me: Where did the ego come from? Of course that implies linear time because you have to “come from,” like it’s born, so this might not make sense.
Erik: It’s part of the soul. Like where did the emotions come from? That’s part of the soul, too. It is your soul. So you can just say it’s part of the package deal that you signed up for. Let’s be clear that the ego is—
Jamie (to Erik): Reword that. That didn’t make sense, Erik.
Erik: Ego wasn’t on the evolution train at first. It’s not like the cavemen didn’t have an ego, but as we developed as a community, a government with needs and corporate ladders, then ego grew. Ego has always been there, but to the degree to which it reared its head. That’s when it got on the evolution train.
Me: So the ego has always been there, but, over time, it’s become more and more fear-based, and it has more attachments to roles, past experiences and all that, right?
Erik: Oh, yeah.
Me: And it attaches to assumptions and beliefs.
Erik: Right. Before we developed this environment we live in now, ego was something that provided that sense of separation and the urge to survival. It’s what was responsible for the fight or flight thing. Then we developed this whole atmosphere of “You’re wrong, and I’m right,” “I make more money than you do,” “I have a loftier career,” “I’m superior; you’re inferior.” It sucks. Now we’re on this runaway train and the ego is diddling with the controls going, “What the fuck do I do now?” Our egos have got us caught on the hamster wheel. Eat or be eaten. Be a winner, not a loser. Our egos also connect us to the past in a way that causes us pain. “Oh, poor me. I was molested as a kid.” You’re attached to the belief that you’re a victim. Well, guess what? You’re not being molested now, are you? If some of you still are, get out of that shit. Let it go. Look at the suffering as a page in a book and turn to the next one.
Me: So suffering is a good thing if you embrace it, glean lessons from it, and let it go?
Erik: Yes, instead of letting your ego grab hold on with white knuckled fists.
Me: Easier said than done.
Erik: Sometimes it helps to visualize. Take the case of the molested person. She can get an image of herself bitch slapping the molester, and then ripping a suitcase from his hands. That suitcase has all the lessons you could take away from that experience. Open it up and see it full of golden nuggets. One nugget might be a lesson in empowerment. Another might be a lesson in forgiveness. Another might be a lesson in compassion. Maybe one is a lesson on what kind of person not to be like how you need to be as a parent. Then take those nuggets and stuff them into your heart one by one and walk away. When you look back, watch the molester fade away and disappear. You gotta translate that visualization into your feelings and beliefs, and sometimes repeating it over and over in your head will help.
Me: Great advice.
Erik: Everyone can come up with their own stories.
Me: Yeah, of course. What about the story of someone who feels inferior because he’s a housepainter, not a cardiovascular surgeon?
Erik: He has to realize that neither is superior to the other, and each one has a unique role. A housepainter transforms something dilapidated into something beautiful. People live in that home. They find comfort in it and in being surrounded by beauty. The money thing? The ego attaches to abundance and keeps it from growing. I know a lot of doctors that are happy, Mom, but I know a lot that are miserable no matter how much bank they make. I bet if the housepainter sees the value in his work and stops seeing it as an inferior career, he’ll attract abundance. Someone might come up to him and say, “You do good work. Let’s be partners and paint more houses together.” Then, they do more beautiful work and go, “Hey, let’s get a whole crew. We can paint commercial buildings, too.” So they do and it’s a big success, and now they have a company with painters all over the country making it a more beautiful place. It’s all about the ego detaching itself from beliefs, assumptions and roles.
Me: Powerful stuff, Erik.
Erik (chuckling): It is, isn’t it?
You know, if hadn’t been for Kristina, I would never have had the blog. She designed it for me. In her grief, she created her own blog to bring something beautiful in her life. As far as Channeling Erik, without it, you all wouldn’t have been transformed and sometimes figuratively and even literally saved. In fact, she saved my life and Erik’s too. That said, SUBSCRIBE TO HER BLOG! I’m sooo proud of her and grateful to her, too.