This topic is dear to my heart and makes me a bit sad because poor Erik was bullied so much in his young life by peers, teachers, friends, and even a cop. I think bullying can probably explain a lot of predatory activities from cops, mass shooters, serial killers, child and animal abusers and more, so please send love and white light to the core of the earth and visualize it radiating to the earth’s crust into the soles (and souls) of ever bully and victim.
Also, don’t forget about Erik’s Hour of Enlightenment radio show TONIGHT at 5:00 PM PT/7:00 PM CT/8:00 PM ET. Guest, Charles Osburn will discuss the art of surrender and his Surrender Protocol. No more than 15 minutes before the top of the hour, call 619-639-4606 to ask Erik your question. There are three ways to listen: Listen on the phone line, click on the “Listen” icon on the right sidebar of the blog or click on this link: http://goo.gl/aFHTzJ
Enjoy Part One of the series and thanks, Dustin E., blog member, friend and voiceover artist extraordinaire, for the excellent job transcribing. Book a session with Emma by clicking HERE. The video version of the session follows.
Emma: Helloooo!
Me: Hello, how are you doing?
Emma: I’m good, how are you?
Me: I’m fine. Did you catch up on rest? Hopefully.
Emma: I did. I’m trying.
Me: Ok.
Emma: Do I look better?
Me: We’ll you never looked bad to begin with. Lemme see my questions.
Emma: When I was looking at the questions I was trying to keep my eyes open.
Me: Oh, poor you, poor you. Well, hi Erik!
Erik: Hey Mama, I love you.
Me: Did you have a –
Erik: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been around so much! It’s been really, really, really, really, REALLY busy.
Me: I bet!
Erik: I love you, I love you. You know that’s never going to change.
Me: Oh, I know.
Erik: Thank you to everyone for the great birthday wishes.
Me: There were so many. So much love. That’s awesome. Well, Erik, you probably know a little bit about this subject, because you were bullied, but I’d like to talk about bullying today. Is that ok with you?
Erik: That’s fine by me Mama. It happens all the time, so we need to discuss it.
Me: Do you think it’s gotten worse over the centuries?
Erik: It has, because people are more and more into situations where they don’t feel comfortable or they come into um, families that are plagued by the feeling of being lost and feeling separated and that’s being passed onto the children. The children will pass that frustration onto other kids or, um, even adults. Um, you know, attacking adults, uh just because they’re in that state of mind where they just can’t see any more positivity in each other and all they need to do in order to gain power, in order to feel like they’re in control, is to attack other people and basically absorb their energy; in order to kinda get by in their day.
Me: How horrible! And now, of course, we have the Internet. We have cyber-bullying. You know, people feel so empowered behind the shield of cyberspace, so like they feel they can say and do anything.
Emma: Yeah.
Erik: It’s so much easier to hide.
Me: Like road rage.
Erik: You know, it’s safer, because they can change their identities, they can um, you know, it’s a lot harder for people to catch them, who they are exactly. And it’s just, um; it’s become more easy.
Me: Yeah.
Erik: You know it’s become a lot more easy to attack people just for fun. Cuz some people really just do it for fun. Just to taunt people. Just to get the satisfaction that they have destroyed somebody’s life.
Me: Oh. I know there was one girl in middle school, that, uh, was so horrible to Michelle—I mean, she had her little pack of “Mean Girls”. I mean anytime Michelle would sit down at lunch she would make them all get up and leave. Or they’d follow her and say things behind her back and just terrible. So eventually she just had to eat lunch in the middle school. So we took her to a psychologist and we told the psychologist who it was, and it was “Oh, I get a lot of business from her!” It’s like, great. Anyway. I let her have it on Facebook. I let her know what harm she had done to my daughter and the effect it had long term—a big, huge long-term effect. And, um, she apologized. So. But so spiritually, from a spiritual aspect, why do people choose to bully? And then, I also wanna know why people accept being bullied, accept being the victim.
Erik: Well if we look at it from a spiritual perspective, there’s a few different reasons why bullying happens in the first place. A lot of cases, let’s just say that most of the cases it’s really a contract. It’s a soul contract, where people who are being bullied, in a way, they attract those bullies into their lives. And they really learn from that experience. They learn to stand up for themselves, they learn to be assertive, they learn communication skills and they learn to accept and release and really to set personal boundaries in their life. “How far will I let it go, until I say no? How far until I start to stand up for myself?” So, it’s really a great lesson, and I know this sounds horrible, you know, you have to go through this but it’s really a great lesson to see how stable you are within yourself. And learn to stand up for yourself and learn to fight for yourself and really learn to self-love. And a lot of the contracts in human existence is all about self-love.
Me: Oh sure!
Erik: And about acceptance. So there’s also lessons of acceptance in there. Hey, we can’t control what other people are doing, however, we can control how we respond to it; how we absorb it. Because I can guarantee you that if you do not spend the energy or the time to even invest in what these other people are saying or doing towards you, that their interests will fade, because they won’t get the response they want from you in order for them to feel empowered, in order for them to feel like they are in control of you. So, acceptance is also a really big key lesson in this. Now, for the people who are doing it (the bullying), a lot of times it’s about—it’s a lesson of—well, let’s look at WHY people are doing it. When we look at who is bullying and why are people bullying, believe it or not, the biggest bulliers in the world are male.
Me: Oh yeah! Well, I don’t know, girls—middle school girls can be really bad!
Erik: Yeah, there are a lot of females as well, but if you look at, you know, if you look at statistics, at least 66% of bulliers are male. And why is that? Why the males? Well, if you think about it and you look at it in the way that people, that male individuals are raised in this culture, you know, it’s all about: “Don’t show any emotions. When you show emotions, you are weak. Stop being a girl.” You know, people get attacked. So what happens is for males, it’s really hard. When they do go through frustrations, when they do go through emotions, when they do go through bad times, they don’t know how to express it anymore, because they’re not allowed to express it. So what they do, they go into bullying, because it’s a way of expressing their anger, their frustration, their hate towards what’s going on. A lot of times it’s about what’s going on in the home situation. Sometimes it’s caused by divorce, by their parents. Sometimes it’s caused by somebody who passed away and they can’t deal with that grief and they can’t deal with those emotions. Or sometimes, you know, their getting a new brother or sister. Or sometimes it’s just because they feel really, they have a lack of self-confidence. They feel bad about themselves and they see other people strolling around with confidence and they want that, so they’ll take it away from somebody and feel stronger about themselves.
Me: Ok.
Erik: There’s so many different aspects, but you know, male entities have a higher chance of doing it, just because they don’t have any other way, or their not allowed to cry in public and they’re not allowed to express their emotions.
Me: Well, I’m sure testosterone does not help either.
Erik: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t help.
Me: Yeah.
Erik: When it comes to females, a lot of times it really comes from a perspective of low self-esteem. It comes from a perspective of not feeling like they fit in, not knowing why they’re here. It comes from a perspective of not liking themselves. And then it really turns into a jealousy contest. It goes into more of that aspect. So there’s a big difference between male and female when it comes to bullying.
Me: Sure.
Erik: There’s a lot of different aspects in how it starts, how it’s being formed and how it expresses itself. Males will usually go physical. They will go face-to-face. A lot of females will hide behind computers or will send nasty letters—things like that, or phone calls.
Me: You know, Eliza, you know who you are if you’re watching this—which I’m sure she’s not. You know, she was very spoiled. She was from a wealthy family, and sometimes her father, when she was going out the door, would just hand her a hundred dollars, you know things like that. She just got everything she wanted, so it’s almost like, maybe, a sense of entitlement on her part. “Well, I’m entitled to being better than everybody, you know, or I don’t know, maybe—
Erik: No. You know what the problem was?
Me: What?
Erik: You know what the problem was? Her problem was she didn’t get the affection and the love that she wanted.
Me: She didn’t.
Erik: She didn’t get the attention.
Me: That is so true.
Erik: Her parents were always working. They were never there for her.
Me: Yeah, right.
Erik: She was just a side product of the relationship. And when you raise your children to be a side product, that what they do is not really interesting to you, that you don’t show affection or you don’t show the attention, then kids will look for attention in a different way. And that is what she was doing. It was her way of trying to deal with a lack of attention. And they will do it that way. Because in that family, it made her feel that she didn’t matter. It made her feel that she wasn’t important. She wasn’t in charge. Her parents decided everything for her. Although she didn’t get anything back from them. So she wasn’t important, she was not in control of her own life, she just had to smile, nod and look pretty. And that was what it was. So what that does is, it makes you feel like you don’t belong here. It makes you feel like nobody cares about you. You know, you create this self-esteem issue.
Me: It’s amazing. I wish Michelle had told me earlier. But, it took a long time for her to open up to me about it. But I think she got something out of it. You know, she is extremely assertive, very compassionate and I think that really helps her, but it also took away her inner light for a long, long time. So, what can you advise to people who are bullied? You know, that you have a choice, you can become a victim and you can let bullying just take out your inner light or you can use it as a valuable lesson to develop certain skills like setting boundaries, being emotionally honest, reflecting on who you are and how you deserve self-love and all these things. So, what can you tell people so they choose correctly?
Erik: I just wanted to mention for Michelle, that what she got out of this period where she was going very introverted was really a good thing. Because she went inside of her(self). She really went inside to explore. Because that’s what bullying does. It forces you to internalize things. So let me just explain this real quick: What bullying does or why it’s so effective, why it hurts people so badly, is because when you’re bullied, you’ll start to internalize it and you’ll become self-critical. Right? Because people who are being bullied will eventually want to understand “Why am I being picked on? Why is it me? Why am I being the target?” And eventually what they’ll do is they’ll start to blame themselves. They’ll find issues that are wrong with them and say, “Oh, that must be why. I’m doing it to myself. I’m attracting this.” So, what that does is, it can either break you or it can make you. You can choose. Once you go into that internalization, once you really go inside and say, “Is it me? Or is it their problem?” Once you go in there, you have the choice to either say “Ok, I accept that this is just a person who needs somebody to vent to, and he’s just used me.” Or “Yes. It’s me. Everything’s wrong with me.” And you go into the self-hurting mode. So you kind of have to choose whether you go into, like you said, do you go into the victim mode or do you go into the survival mode? But, how do you deal with it? What’s the best thing you can do when you are being bullied?
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