I’m perplexed. We have a biometric safe that we’ve had for over ten years. Unfortunately, the battery ran out, and we can’t find the bypass key. I searched every surface of the safe and found no company identification, but a search of all the biometric safes on Amazon revealed it was identical to most of the Barska safes. I called them, and they sent me a key request form. When I showed them pictures of the safe including the PO number and key code, they told me it wasn’t their safe so wtf?? I have $300 in cash that I need for the trip, so Rune is going to have to saw through the back. When I looked at the back, it was clear that someone was already trying to break in with something like a crowbar. Erik, probably. We confiscated a couple of his “bowls” for smoking pot as well as medications and knives that he could have used to kill himself. It made me a little sad, remembering how tortured he was and how I really should have let him smoke marijuana. 

Don’t forget that there will be NO radio show this week because I will be attending Annika’s White Coat Ceremony for medical school. I’m a little nervous for her, living all alone for the first time and starting a rigorous course of study. She has her computer orientation today and her full orientation tomorrow. 

Bella fell ill yesterday, right before going on vacation, naturally. She refused to eat her dog treat and vomited a couple of times. Plus, she felt warm, so I took her to Dr. Haglund, our wonderful vet, and he diagnosed her with strep throat. He gave her a shot of antibiotics and a ten day course of Clavamox, and she’s much better. Thank god this didn’t happen when we were in the middle of nowhere on our trip!

Here’s the second to last post in our series on stress.

Erik: It’s all about how you create your identity. If you feel comfortable and you feel like, “Well, I’ll feel better when this contract at work goes through. Then I’ll be able to flow, and I’ll be in the rhythm and blah, blah, blah.”

Me: That’s an expectation, right there.

Erik: “Until then, I’ll hold my breath.” That’s where the stress is born, and then we live in that stress and we live in that illness.” Mobility issues, Mom.

Me: Hm!

Erik: Duh. Think about it. People will somehow manifest a mobility impairment or their mobility will be compromised.

Me: Because you’re paralyzed with stress.

Erik: Exactly. You’re not moving freely because of your anxiety and fear. Don’t even get me started on what paranoia will do to you. There are levels of stress: anxiousness, mania, paranoia, compulsion like people get manic and react to things compulsively through stress. Paranoia is like the beast. It’s the mother of the worst types of stress to experience.

Me: Wow.

Erik: Paranoia fosters hair loss.

Kim: That was really unexpected.

Me: I know stress can cause hair loss for sure, but yeah, paranoia is a fear that you’re going to be attacked in some way.

Erik: Yeah, and with paranoia, your thoughts are always attacking you. The world is out to get you like, “This situation fell through, and it’s probably my fault.” It’s internalizing things. And you can eat and eat and eat, but with stress, the body’s ability to absorb nutrition becomes compromised. As a compensatory mechanism, you start to pack on extra pounds in an attempt to get more nutrition. In turn, you get sick. You feel like crap, and all of these things are happening so you’re reacting and you get behind the 8 ball trying to catch up and regain your health.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: But I promise you—

Kim (smiling): He’s looking at his fingers again.

Erik: –mind, body, and spirit are so closely connected that you can’t foster the health of one without affecting the health of the other two. So don’t just sit around and meditate all day and become a spiritual guru. Take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Me: Right.

Erik: They all take care of each other.

Me: Why do some people choose to come in and have a stressful life? I mean, are there people or spirits who say, “Hey, I’m going to make a spiritual contract, and I want a life that’s heavily laden with stress.” Crazy people!

Count me out.

Erik: There are, Mom. There are so many life missions like this and—

Kim listens for a while.

Kim: This is interesting. He’s showing souls on the other side at multiple levels of consciousness or evolution on a singular level. They’re not singular, but at the individual soul level, we’ve all had different experiences so we’re all different, but we’re not singular really.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: When one hasn’t truly understood their True Self, their true divinity, their pure self, they may choose a life full of experiences that will sort of toss them through the tumbler to help them remember their true divinity. Then, when you come back Home, you’re more evolved through each and every experience. You’re more polished, and when you come back Home, you obviously transform back into the true state, but now being more evolved and able to reflect on what you just went through in your physical life.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: It’s like a remembering. “Oh, I went through all that and I thought dut, dut, dut, and now I’m here and I remember I’m not all of those stresses and worries! I don’t have to worry at all. That stuff isn’t me and it doesn’t affect me.”

Me: Ah! So it’s kind of like an accelerated growth process? Is that what you’re saying?

Erik: Yeah, and it’s intentional, Mom. It’s always intentional. (with a compassionate tone) I know that so many times people will sit there and say, “I would never choose this for myself. I’ve had this terrible life. I would never choose this! There’s got to be some other reason.” Of course that’s just the ego talking. The True Self needs these experiences to go through. It’s tumbling through to become this polished gem, diamond, whatever, on the other end.

Me: Hm.

Erik: When we look at diamonds (He winks.) at diamond can’t be destroyed, right?

I bet hot lava could do the trick He probably means it can’t be destroyed in a rock tumbler.

Erik: So, you are the diamond. You go through this tumbling phase just to get polished up so you can remember how pretty you are, right? How pure you are. You might have been mined out and you’re covered in mud, but you go through the wash and you go, “Oh, yeah. Look how pure I am. No matter what I go through, look how pure I am!”

Me: So it’s the polarity, that contrast that shines a light on certain aspects.

Erik: Right. It helps you remember. And then when you really look closely, you see all of the facets that are different parts of you. That’s even more fun.

Me: Yeah!

Kim: He likes the diamond metaphor!

Me: Now, you mentioned ego. Talk about how ego and stress are related.

Erik: It’s the same thing. Ego is stress and stress is ego. As soon as you—

Kim: Oh, boy. He’s really speaking out of both sides of his mouth. Let’s see here.

She listens for clarification.

Erik: As soon as you take responsibility for control or as soon as you try to take control, that’s ego that creates stress.

Me: Ego always wants to control, right? Is that what you’re saying?

Erik: Right.

Me: Okay.

Erik: It’s a false sense of security.

Kim: Well, what about the power of “I am?” It kind of seems like the same thing, right? The power of “I am” is unlimited.

Erik: Yes, but “I am” has no expectation.

Me: What do you mean, “I am” for the people out there (like me) who don’t understand?

Kim: Sure. When you say, “I am” and use that as maybe a mantra to manifest anything in your life and you really connect to that, then you know YOU can create your own reality. There’s sort of a responsibility in that, but there are no expectations in it. You’re transparent. You’re so transparent that you’re not confined by these parameters.

Erik: But the ego can only exist within parameters and can only operate through expectation.

Me: And control.

Erik: The ego is fed by “I’m in control. I have control.” That feeds the ego. Of course that perpetuates stress because now it’s like you have to keep up. It’s like running on a treadmill. You have to keep running. You have to keep up with, “I have control, and now I have to keep it because if I lose it, then, oh crap, now I’m paranoid!”

Kim laughs.

Erik: It’s just a sick cycle that feeds itself. The egoic state will constantly feel a sense of need or want or desire. That’s because it’s always in the state of lack. So when you stay in a state of acceptance, there is no stress there because you accept what is. But you can use the “I am” to create. Don’t get that confused. You can use the “I am” to create, but the ego can look like the “I am,” the “True Self,” and go, “Oh, I create” but knows limits. It knows barriers, and it has expectations and attachments.

Me: And it wants to control.

Erik: Yeah.

Me: Okay. Interesting.

Erik: They can feel very similar, but there is no expectation with the “I am” therefore there is no suffering.