Last week was crazy busy, y’all. Kim can attest to that, but I’m happy to say that this is going to be an easier week…until Sunday. That’s when things get Medhus Crazy. In our home, we’re hosting Michelle’s baby shower (basically a way for a penny-pinching couple to get free stuff for the baby and as payment play often humiliating games.) I bet no less than 50 people will show up. I’m catering with Lupe Tortilla’s beef and chicken fajitas, and Lukas is going to make his famous Sangria–one for the lushes and one for the lightweights and preggos. I’ll try to vlog about it. It should be fun. 

Jamie’s assistant, Amy, emailed me and said that their event in L.A. last weekend went really well, and that Erik surprised everyone by coming through. Apparently, he shined as he always does, and everyone loved having him there! If you attended the trance channeling, give me details!

Be sure you sign up for Erik’s tour, which launches this June in Denver. Kim and Heather will channel Erik so that he can inspire and teach us the way he does so well. Kim will also trance channel Erik. That’s when Erik goes around the room and gives us all hugs (my favorite part) and then answers our individual question. As icing on the cake, we’ll have others give readings, energy heal, provide spiritual coaching, past life regression and more. You’ll come away with lifelong friendships and a profoundly changed life. Click HERE to register.

Here’s the second part to the guiding vs. controlling post. If you need to read the end of the first part to orient yourself, click HERE. 

Kim: For example, my husband is a soldier. He “guides” about 60-80 men.

Me: Wow!

Kim: So, how does he guide them without controlling them?

Me: I was about to ask you about that in terms of children, but that’s just as good.

Kim: Yeah, because he often says, “Man, it’s like chasing around toddlers because none of them will listen, and I gotta get control!” So let me see what he says.

Erik: That’s like chasing a windmill.

Kim: I don’t know what that means!

Erik: When you chase something, whether it’s trying to get control of children or a bunch of people—

Me: Or herding cats.

Kim (laughing): There you go!

Erik: It’s going to be an endless battle because you’re not supposed to control. So it’s going to constantly be a fleeting sense for you. If you think, “I have to control this group of men,” it’s going to be fleeting because you’re really not supposed to control, ever. You can guide and you can teach, and the most important way is to lead by example. There are going to be a few stray cats, and you’re just going to have to let them be stray.

Kim laughs.

Erik: There are a few people, children, what have you, that need to experience this incarnation for what it is for them without preconceived notions, without anybody guiding them. They’re just basically throwing themselves out there. They’re going to experience this life balls to the wall.

You know that expression refers to the little balls on the tips of the throttles on an airplane? When you accelerate, you push the balls forward, almost touching the cockpit dashboard. Interesting tidbit for you. I know what you thought it was. You have a dirty mind.

Erik: But for the most part, people, animals, children can be guided, and it’s all about your actions.

Me: Well, let me give you an example. Say you have a kid that never does their homework, or maybe their room is just a mess. You don’t want them to fail third grade, so instead of controlling them by making them sit and do their homework, what can you do? What does guidance look like in that picture?

Erik: Guidance looks like getting to the core of why the child is procrastinating or why the child’s neglectful whether it’s chores or—and chores don’t have to be controlling. Repetition is important. Repeating and routines are good for children, but sometimes people get caught up in controlling them in the way that they enforce them. So take a deeper look at, “Why is the child neglectful on their homework? Why do they not care?”

Me: Maybe they’re struggling with a subject.

Erik: When you look at what they’re going through emotionally, that will tell you why they’re neglectful because a lot of times kids will be neglectful when it comes to homework because they’ve internalized experiences. Let’s say they took a test, and they didn’t do so good. Well, now they’ve internalized that result. “I suck. I’m stupid. I’m not smart, and I just don’t care anymore.”

Me: Yeah.

Erik: Believe it or not, even in the little ones, that comes from ego. Ego doesn’t like failure or feeling like a failure so it tosses it aside. Then when children neglect their chores, why is that? What is the emotional cause for it? So if you sit down and ask them, “How come you’re having such a hard time? You know you have to do this every day. Why is it so hard for you?” Unfortunately, the world we live in makes it hard to take that time to connect again, whether it’s with children or co-workers or a manager at work. Actually taking time to get to the root of the problem instead of tossing out orders out of control. you’ll make much more headway and be much more successful if you take a minute and go, “Hey, let’s get to the root of the problem.” But people get tripped up because they want that control. “You’re not doing this until you’re finished with your homework!” “You’re not doing that until you clean your room!” Instead of barking out those orders, ask, “How come you’re not cleaning your room? What’s the problem?” And the kid goes, “I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do.” Then you say, “Okay, maybe there’s a lack of communication. Let me explain it to you, as a parent, what I hope for you to do to clean your room.” Then tell them to pick up their laundry, their mess, whatever it is. (Smiling big) Do you see what I’m getting at? Communication is key in guidance.

Me: That’s true.

Erik: Guidance vs. control: Control doesn’t stop and take time for communication. Control just—

Me: It’s more about action. So logical consequences would be all right, right? When my kids didn’t pick up their toys in their room, I would just take a big black trash bag, put them all in there, and stick it in the attic. Then they’d go, “Where’s my Lego set?” Then I’d go, “Oh, when I was vacuuming, I stepped on one of the Lego blocks and hurt my foot. I put it somewhere. I just can’t remember where I put your toys so…”

Sometimes I’d give them to charity.

Kim (laughing): You sound like me!

Erik: Consequences are good because they teach children and even co-workers—again, it doesn’t just have to be for children—but it teaches people that there are consequences in life for everything they do and then one thing leads to another, everything is connected so how does that affect the bigger picture? Sometimes it seems unreasonable, when you’re talking to a little second grader, to talk about the bigger picture, but at least if you enforce those consequences, then they’re going to grow with that understanding. If you don’t teach it to your kids, if you don’t start young, how are they going to know?

Me: The consequences will be bigger if they don’t learn when they’re small. Anything else before we close?

Erik: About kids. The bigger they get, the bigger their problems get, so start young!

Me: Tell me about it. When y’all got to be teenagers, all I could think was, ‘Why didn’t I have 5 kittens instead?’

Kim laughs.

Erik: Control vs. Guidance. To help you step out of wanting to control and needing to control, surrender to the world around you. Sometimes it might be uncomfortable for you, but perhaps you might go through experiences that you wouldn’t have if you stayed in that controlling state. Be excited about the opportunities for you to experience the world around you when you do surrender that need to control.

Me: So, it opens up the world.

Erik: It opens up the world to you, and you’ll be a better guide for that reason.

Me: Mm. Okay. Thank you, Erik. Thank you, Kim!

Kim: You’re welcome!

Erik: Thank you, Mama.

Me: Be sure y’all join us for our radio show every Thursday at 7:00 PM CT. Go to the blog, and on the right side, you’ll see the archived podcast for the latest episode, and you’ll also see the button to click on to listen. You can ask Erik all sorts of questions.

Erik: Yep.

Me: Bye, guys!

Kim: Bye!