How to Communicate with the Dead and Teenagers (??)

Me: How can we communicate more easily and more effortlessly with the nonphysical so that when our loved one’s transition does take place, we don’t feel so bereft.

I mumble under my breath, trying to make sense of the reader’s question.

Erik: I think when we’re looking at easy, I wanna remind people when you’re happy, when you’re in a good emotional place, it’s easier for the deceased to communicate with the living. When you’re under a wall of grief or under a wall of confusion, it’s very hard for us to communicate to you. That vibration, it’s really messed up, you know, so it’s herd for us to get there. Another way to make it easy is to dedicate time to us. Say, “All right. I’m going to sit still. I’m going to get quiet. I’m going to let you get closer to me. I’m not going to push you away. Most people don’t think that they’re pushing us away, but trust me, they are.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: You know, they’re scared. “Oh, don’t do that! Oh!” Or they start to feel at peace, and they think that if they’re at peace, it’s a disservice to the person who’s dead, because then they’re not grieving over them.

Me: Oh yeah.

Erik: There’s a lot of really strange rewiring systems in the whole grieving process, so I’d say, get happy. Find moments of happiness, and when you’re in a moment of happiness, dedicate stillness to us.

Me: Okay. Here’s the last question for the day. Erik, what would you say to a classroom of teenagers who were more interested in sex, drugs and guns and are mostly angry, pissed off and don’t want to be in school?

Erik: Oh, do I have to say something to them?

Me: Yeah, well, I don’t know. What would you say if you had to?

Erik: I would say, ‘Enjoy having a short life, because that’s what it’s going to give you.’

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: I would say, um, ‘Outward focus isn’t the greatest success story.’ I would encourage them to go inward. If they really wanna fight and party and get loud, go into the depths that are inside of them first.

(Long pause)

Me (in a mock timid voice): More…please.

Erik: They’d have to have a teacher or instructor to help them do it.

Me: Can you address maybe why they should be traveling that route?

Erik: Oh, that’s like a whole hour! We could totally break that down, cuz just to sit down and group guns, drugs, partying and everything under one umbrella, they’re attracted to certain things because of their energetic vibration, and all of those things are extremely different. I mean, if you want me to address one of those groups, we can sit down and write a lecture if you want.

Me: No, I don’t want to do that, but give me a little bit more.

Erik: I mean, it’s known in psychiatry and psychology and all that shit that if you’re going outward in these ways to seek joy or control, you’re actually displaced emotionally on the inside of yourself. I feel like I’ve said it before. All of the answers are inside of you. You already know everything. But we’re young and people don’t know—well, young kids don’t know—that doing that kind of inner discovery is healthy. They think it’s for losers or people who are weak, but in fact, having that kind of mindset that it’s for losers and for weak people, that shows weakness.

Erik chuckles.

Erik: Ignorance. You know, it really should be part of an elementary school program. All of this learning who you are and how you learn and the discovery of life and the environment around you? I mean, that’s like pre-K to 4th grade! We’re missing the glory years in these children, teaching them how to be emotionally honest, good communicators, and to go inward to find answers. And that pausing, my friend? Pausing. A mere pause can save your day.

Me: That’s true. It might have saved yours.

Long silence.

Erik: True dat, Mom.


Jamie still has openings for small group readings and the grievers’ call this week. Please click on the link below, find what you’d like to register for and click on it. The readings provide an opportunity to ask questions about your future, your career, your health, your relationships and more. Both calls give you a chance to speak with your deceased loved ones.

Jamie’s Calendar


Dear Reader,

The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

Love and light,



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Elisa Medhus

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