We’ve finally found something Mr. Smarty-Pants isn’t an expert in: babies. No worries, though, because his girlfriend, Jillian, has his back. As in most of these posts, the subject can be extrapolated to other aspects of the human condition. 

Me: This is from a blog member. What can we do about infertility, repeated miscarriages and stillbirths and why do these occur? As for the whys, I’m sure there are just as many spiritual reasons as there are those with the problem.

Erik: Let me get Jillian to answer this one because she’s so good at this shit.

Robert: Why do you always call it “shit,” Erik?

I laugh.

Erik: I don’t mean that like—

Robert: I know what you mean.

Me: Well, Jillian, you have the floor. Hello, by the way.

Jillian: Hello and thank you.

Jillian looks at Erik all sweet and lovey and Erik looks at her.

Robert: Like a Hallmark card.

Me: Aw.

I make kissing sounds to try to embarrass him.

Jillian: I’ve learned a lot from my experiences as a human being that have drawn me to matters of family.

Me: Uh huh.

Jillian: That includes giving birth to children and raising them. It also includes what the family needs in order to be strong. When it comes to not being able to get pregnant or to maintain a pregnancy to term, let me think on what would be the most common reason.

She gives the image of looking through a book.

Robert: She reminds me of a librarian. I got this visual of her wearing glasses and looking through a book.

Jillian: One reason is because of a fear of failure.

Me: So those are people who are afraid of failure in anything, not just getting and staying pregnant?

Jillian: Right. They have this idea that they must always succeed at everything. So when these things happen or don’t happen, it’s for their soul to experience the thing that makes them the most afraid and to face it.

Me: Ah, interesting.

Jillian: On an individual level, it can mean lots of different things but ultimately it’s about facing that fear instead of judging it or putting all the responsibility on your shoulders for what happened. I’ll keep it as simple as that.

Me: So are we talking about not putting all of the responsibility on your shoulders for any quote unquote failure occurs? Is it not just about pregnancies and such?

Jillian: It’s about any kind of failure, and that manifests things like not being able to get pregnant or keep a baby to term.

Me: Oh, okay. Interesting. So that’s a way to learn to not judge yourself—

Jillian: Or the circumstance that you experienced.

Me: Okay. Because with people who are afraid of failure, there’s so much judgment involved.

Jillian: Right. They blame themselves, someone else, fate or all of these.

Me: What about infertility?

Jillian: For some people—and this doesn’t necessarily apply to their current life because all of our lives are interconnected. They’re all connected and the thread that connects them is your soul.

Me: Mm hm.

Jillian: Again it goes back to fear but also to the inability to see something out, to say you’re going to do something and then follow through. You hesitate. You might seem disconnected from the state of pregnancy itself, but it can be very subtle, even in this “current” life or other lifetimes that are feeding whatever causes you to stop or pause and think, “Am I really sure about this?” Now I’m not saying that this is the only reason.

Me: Can it be a lesson in loss so that you can lose something to realize that that’s what you had all along?

Jillian (smiling): You have actually taught me something, Elisa. You’ve brought that awareness to me.

Me: Oh! Yay!

Score!

Jillian: In that moment, that is true what you said. Think about when you hesitate. What happens when you hesitate? Everything is constantly moving so if you stop and hesitate, it may then move on, and you can’t get it back. You’ve lost it. You’ve lost the moment, the opportunity. Let me back track on infertility being rooted in not following through on something because of hesitation. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you, as an individual, are doing that. It may be some other person in your life, and you’re teaching them about this.

Me: Interesting.

Jillian: It could be the mother or father, the husband or some other significant other. The reason it was important for me to say that is because I don’t want to perpetuate someone choosing to blame themselves. “It’s all my fault.”

Me: So basically someone can come in and—the male, too, can be infertile of course—to come in and experience loss or a string of losses in order to what? To realize the sanctity of life or what?

Jillian: As it relates to loss, based on my experiences when it came to those things for me, the loss played a part because, as a soul, that’s what I was ready for. That doesn’t mean I’m more advanced, and it can mean so many different things for that person. When I was in the physical world, I lost many children either before they were born or after. What that allowed me to do was connect to them in spirit. This is the lesson you’ve learned.

Me: Oh, yeah.

Jillian: And you’ve learned it quite well.

Me: Steep learning curve, though.

Jillian: And you’re still learning.

I think I’m in the remedial class.

Jillian: It’s about learning that loss isn’t even possible. It’s only about change. Transformation.

Me: Okay, and expectation comes into play because, you know, people trying to get pregnant expect to succeed. People who are pregnant expect to carry the baby to term. So are there lessons in expectation?

Jillian: If you live in expectation, underneath that, you’re setting yourself up for lessons in loss.

Me: Oh yeah. That makes sense. Okay, anything else on the subject before we close out the session?

Jillian: I’m happy with what was said.

Robert: Erik gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Me: Aw!

Robert (chuckling): He just gave her a peck on the cheek.

Me: How sweet! Erik, do you have anything to add?

Erik: I’m good.

Me: Okay, well thank you Jillian. Thank you, Erik. Thank you, Robert. Love you all!

Robert: Erik and Jillian are waving, and Jillian is blowing you kisses.

Me: Aw. Kissies back.

So many of you have had communications of various sorts from Erik lately, including his notorious pranks. He’s really pulling all the stops now. If you have experienced these, please be sure to post them on the “Erik Encounters” page. It’s on the drop down menu under “About Erik” on the top of the homepage. This way, everyone can enjoy them!