Kicking Fear in the Ass

Sorry to post so late, guys. I’ve been at the track showing solidarity for my husband, Rune, during his motorcycle racing competition and of course there was no Wifi! Fortunately, guest blogger and medium, Kate Sitka came to the rescue channeling Erik’s insight on a very powerful topic. Fear. Enjoy.

Kicking fear right in the ass

Hey all – my name is Kate Sitka.  I’m a spirit medium and animal communicator, and I live in Tofino, British Columbia, Canada.  I’ll be another happy medium for Erik every once in a while, as a guest blogger on the fabulous Channeling Erik blog!

We start off with me asking Erik, what is the title of our first blog entry together?  See above.  Nice!

Okay Erik, how, precisely, might we kick fear right in the ass?

First of all, it’s about letting it go.  Why are you hanging on to all that fear?  (Shows me a child holding a balloon that wants to pick her up off the ground, but her fear is keeping her holding on to a park bench – so she stays right where she is, instead of flying away.)

The gift of the “balloon” (symbolism for the gifts we all receive which challenge our comfort zones) is wasted when you can’t get the fuck over yourself and your need to know the outcome ahead of time.  Life’s a fuckin’ thrill ride, sometimes you have to just let go!

So, this entry is echoing on the past couple of weeks in my life.  I had a lot of hesitation (ahem, fear!) in contacting your Mom, eh?  Even though I know she’s awesome and gracious and kind.  What was up with all that unnecessary agonizing?  What was up with all that fear?

Well, I think that you know it, you sense it when you’re about to leap off a cliff.  You feel the change in the air, you feel your toes curl over the edge – and your fear is asking yourself, what if I can’t fly? 

You know, “Leap and the net will appear”?  Sometimes it’s like, “Leap and you might become road pizza.”

Yeah, that’s your fear talking. 

It sure is, so wtf do we do about it?

You gotta name it.  Call it out – hey fear, you asshole, I see you.  Come on out here, where I can get a good look at you. 

What’s with the “you asshole” thing, is it like, getting angry at your fear?

Fuck, yeah – if it makes you more powerful!  Some people are even afraid to look at their own fear – how are you ever gonna get out of that??  You do what you need to do to get your power back, the first thing is to get moving, take charge, take control.  Get good and tired of being afraid all the time, aren’t you tired of it?  If you let it, fear will control you, clip your wings.

Very poetic.  (He bows)

Okay, so you call your fear out, you name it – hey fear, I see you (insert your most powerful obscenity of choice here, if desired) Then what?

– it’s like Erik’s showing me the thought whispers of a hundred people doing this in the future.  I hear their answers back:  I’m afraid of being unloved, I’m afraid of being alone, I’m afraid I’ll never see him again, I’m afraid I’ll lose all my money get sick and die in the gutter unwanted and unloved, I’m afraid the cancer will come back, I’m afraid my daughter won’t come back – Erik what is with that?

It’s all different, everyone’s fears they all think their worst nightmare is a unique scenario – their own personal hell that if they could just CONTROL enough and everyone around them, they could avoid this hell they’re so afraid of – But what some of you all don’t realize is that your FEAR IS CREATING YOUR HELL!

Shows me a young man, looks like a jr preacher (I have no idea what he’s called, but he’s like a youth pastor) and he’s giving these talks to other teenagers about suppressing their “baser urges” He’s got a twang in his voice, and there’s this real sense of anxiety and earnestness in his chats (he travels around the state or immediate area to do these speeches with many teens) and the kids pick up on his honest anxiety that if they act on their own sex drives, horrible things will happen.  Then Erik shows me this Jr. Preacher alone in his own room, filled with shame as he wanks to gay porn.  As soon as he’s done (ahem!) the fear and suffocating anxiety comes rushing back. 

That is, shit man, that’s sad.  He’s spreading his fear all over.

Yeah he is – worst effing thing is, he’s completely trapped by his own fear, and he’s too busy projecting it on to other kids his age, he won’t even look at his own behavior, his own true self, you know?

Erik’s saying “Call it out!”  He’s shouting:

CALL IT OUT!  Name that fear, and take a good (flaming!) look at it! 

(Aside banter, he’s like: are you really going to start censoring me now, you’ll be like a censoring ninja, like Jamie!  Me: Yeah I can tell you’re pushing on what words I’ll use and which ones I won’t, and which ones are just like rainbow sprinkles on your point – I thought “flaming” was funnier given the context.  C’mon dude, I challenge you to become more creative with your cursing!  Oh yes she did! – anyway!)

The point is to get people to wake up to the here and now for them in the moment they’re feeling the fear – you can spend a year worrying about something that never happens.  In that year, how much suffering have you created for your own damn self??

Okay – Step 1: Look at your fear, even if it scares you.  I’ll add some helpful tips here myself:  GET HELP to look at your fears.  This could be counseling, talking to a trusted friend / family member, and it can also be asking your spirit friends for help too.  Call on Erik or your spirit guide or someone in heaven who you love – ask them to come hold your hand while you stare at your fear, because it IS scary, and fear wants to perpetuate itself.  Right Erik?  You’ve been drafted!

(nodding)  Yeah, that’s totally cool – I will personally come hold the mitt of anyone who’s lookin’ at their fear.  Anytime someone looks at their fear, it’s a step closer to letting it go.  Whenever you let go of fear, an angel gets its wings! 

What?  Oh that Christmas movie.  Yeah – and it totally applies to my point here!  I’ll have to trust you, I’ve never seen it.  (Mock outrage)

The dude in that movie (he’s teasing me by doing this slow-talk, over-explain voice) had a lot of anger which was really fear, and in the end of the movie he figured out what was really important.  It was a really cool movie, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.

I think Sweetie (my partner) tried to get me to watch it once.  I don’t remember it. (Erik throws his hands up and scoffs in mock-outrage)

So looking at your fear, calling it out – that’s one thing.  Will that release your fear?

Sometimes, that’s all you need to do.  With the small things, like, you’re rushing to get home and you notice this anxiety.  Why are you worried?  Because dinner is going to be late and the kids will complain?  F that, they’ll still get fed.  Just relax – and presto! Your fear is gone.  And you become a safer driver, because you’re not rushing. 

So, what about the super-big fears, like, worrying about money?  Health?  Loved ones?

You gotta ask, is my worry actually changing anything?  See, worry and fear are two different things.  Worry is like an OCD coping mechanism for fear – there are other outlets.  With worry, try and redirect it, try to do something positive for yourself, like exercise.  You’ll feel better. 

With something really persistent, like you keep worrying about money even though you’ve never been homeless and starving (plenty of people have, but millions who have never been “in trouble” in that way worry about being homeless and starving, which just is not going to happen) – Ask that fear, “Why are you here?”

He’s showing me the thoughts of people doing this:  Because my mother never had enough food/clothes/stuff to give us.  Because I am still carrying that childhood car accident.  Because I’m afraid he’ll leave me.  I’m afraid I can’t make it on my own.  I’m afraid I’m not smart enough.  I’m afraid I can’t do it – what happens then?  I’m afraid because I don’t know how things will turn out.

Erik chimes in:  See, some of that shit is just being alive, human stuff.  We DON’T know how it’ll turn out, that’s why you need to let go of that park bench sometimes, just let the wind carry you.  Trust.

That is scary even thinking about.  It’s just a symbol (he’s pointing to my fear of heights!) Here, you like horses, see, the little girl is on a horse and she’s afraid the thing is going to throw her off!  Now, she can either get on the horse and trust he’ll take care of her, or she can stay right where she is.  It’s about trust.  Ultimately, you gotta trust you’ll be alright when you face your fears.  And you will be, because I promise you, that fear is what is keeping you stuck! 

I’m going to chime in here with something I’ve learned: to just be with the fear without actually trying to do anything about it in the moment.  If you just sit with the fear and actually feel it, sometimes it’ll release.  Maybe there’s some crying (or yelling) but just being with the fear seems to help and sometimes moving through it will just be the reflex.  The trick is to stop avoiding it, drag that boogyman out of the closet and look at it.

Exactamundo.  (Are you a ninja turtle now?)  Flowers, yeah!  (Looks like he’s Michaelangelo, my favourite ninja turtle.)

Okay, dude, is there anything else helpful we can say about kicking fear right in the ass?  (And I enjoyed the “right” part. It’s like putting on polished wing-tips and taking aim.)

That’s it Babe.  You call out your fear, get a good look at it, name it, and I promise you your fear will look less scary.  Then if you still feel stuck, promise yourself you’ll work through it.  Then ask for help.  That’s it! 

And the thing that is so important bout this, is right now people are getting their fear shit and smearing it all over everyone else around them and in the culture.  They’re afraid immigrants are going to take their jobs/money/housing.  They’re afraid gays are going to corrupt their kids.  They’re afraid of (shows me a physician) advocating for their PATIENT’S rights because they might lose their license.  All this fuckin’ fear is how you are CONTROLLED!  And your fear is walking around in your body TRYING TO CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE. 

As long as you are walking in fear you ain’t never going to be free!  And what the fuck is the point in that???

Amen, Erik The Wise.  (The wise-ass, wise-cracker!)  I totally agree.  Be brave people!  Kick our fear right in the ass!

To learn more about Kate Sitka, check out her professional website: and her personal blog:


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