This is an issue that is so relevant in this day and age. I don’t know, maybe they suffered from libido problems in the Viking Age. I bet that’s behind the whole “rape and pillage” thing. Those Viking women we’re getting it up. Then there’s the Renaissance Era when it seemed like both men and women were suffering from severe low T syndrome and it’s female equivalent. So, yeah, I think we just talk about it more nowadays.
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Me: Let’s talk about libido problems in both men and women. What’s up with that?
Erik makes the Debbie Downer sound effect, which of course makes me laugh.
Erik: Can’t get your dick up?
Jamie: Oh, my god.
Me: Erik, you’re so silly.
Jamie (to Erik): Erik, I don’t think it’s that. It’s when people just don’t have the drive for it. You don’t have the attraction for it.
Me: Mm hm.
Erik: Oh. You mean you can’t get your dick up?
Jamie (to Erik, laughing): Shut up!
Me: I guess that’s all he cares about!
Erik: No, um. Okay, I’m being serious.
Jamie: He just kind of wipes his face down like he’s taking off the smartass face.
Erik: Okay. Here we go. Lack of libido. I’d say, chalking up the first thing, depression, and I think the biggest part of depression is people not being able to get grounded. And when I say, “get grounded,” I mean mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually into their world.
Me: Mm hm.
Erik: Into their environment. Not somebody else’s, not some big ideal, not the therapist’s world. Their own. And that depression just eats away at that need, desire or want for intimacy.
Me: Why?
Erik: It’s weird. It’s almost like a self-punishment thing.
Me: What would people be punishing themselves for, though?
Erik: Cuz sex is happy. Have you ever been mad and tried to have sex? Have you ever been depressed and had sex?
Of course, to keep my kids gagging, I used to tease them by telling them I only had sex 5 times. One for each kid. Even that notion was nauseating to them.
Me: So, again, what are they punishing themselves for? For being depressed?
Erik: For not being able to get grounded, yeah.
Me: Oh, okay.
Erik: Or for being depressed or for not being successful with finances and other relationships.
Me: Gotcha.
Erik: Or the relationship with themselves. They feel too fat, too thin, too muscular, too dorky, whatever. So, it’s this self-judgment that kind of absorbs that intimacy energy. It makes it vanish. And I say, to ease on back into that, I demand everybody to get massages. That way you can learn to accept touch, period.
Me: Makes sense.
Erik: And you’re giving yourself something that’s beneficial—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. You know, allowing someone to just see you as is. You don’t have your bronzer on. You didn’t lift weight before you came in. You’re just you. I’m not talking about massage with the happy ending.
Jamie and I burst out laughing.
Erik: I’m talking about therapeutic, muscular massage.
Me: Interesting. What kind of massage are you talking about? Swedish massage, or…
Erik: If you like to be patted. I’m more of a fan of the neuromuscular massage and anything that has to do with the myofascial tissue.
Erik: These are looking at areas where the nervous system is being triggered in inappropriate ways, so your body is having to manage and deal with neurological patterns that are not helping with you health. Okay, so you’re addressing that.
When did he go to medical school?
Erik: And then I like the myofascial, because that’s where all the fuck lies.
Jamie (laughing loudly): Where all the fuck lies! I don’t think you’ve ever said something like that before, Erik.
Well, I, for one, am not the least bit surprised. He’s used every curse word I know in almost every way possible, so this was an inevitability.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Erik: The scar tissue, any old injuries, you know, anything physically stupid that you’ve done, toxins, lactic acid. All that shit just kind of erodes that layer, and then it freezes your muscle up. It takes away your elasticity.
I’m beginning to see why so many depressed people have fibromyalgia and chronic pain.
Me: It seems like massage would also help you get grounded, because it would make you more aware of your body and your mind.
Erik: Oh hell, yeah.
Me: Anything else on libido problems?
Erik: Nah, you know, in a blanket statement for the world to read, I’d just present this, and then of course you always have to assess, and if you can’t do it for yourself, then you lean on someone else who can do it for you to help highlight why you are removing intimacy out of your life. And, you know, the second biggest thing besides depression, I would say, is just stress. The stress comes from self-judgment. You’re not doing good enough. You’re not preforming enough.
Me: Even if you have too much on your plate, it’s a judgment of, “I’m not doing enough, so I need to do more.”
Erik: Oh, yeah. That’s total self-judgment shit. Any stress—you can boil it down to the word, “self-judgment.”
Me: Wow. Interesting.
Erik: Cuz if you didn’t fucking judge yourself and you loved yourself for what you’ve achieved and you did your best in every moment, that fucking stress wouldn’t be there, because you’d recognize: That’s other people’s shit, not mine.
Jamie (to Erik): High five on that one, Erik!
Me: That was a good one! When you boil it down, it just seems so simple.
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Now for the news on Jamie’s upcoming, exciting events:
She has a web class that takes place on Wednesday, July 10 at 6:00 PM EST (3:00 PM PST) called More Than Meets the Eye: An Introduction to Viewing Energy Fields. This will be very cool, because it’ll help you see spirits, including your deceased loved ones! The direct link to register for this class is here: REGISTER
Also, Jamie’s next Group Phone Call is on Wednesday, July 10 at 2:45 PM EST (11:45 PM PST). During this call you can ask anything: Relationship, career, health, spiritual issues and more. You can also communicate with your guides and deceased loved ones! The direct link to register is here: REGISTER
And finally, she still have two spaces available on the CE Grievers call for next Friday, July 12 at 11:40 PM EST (8:40 PM PST). The direct link to register for this is: REGISTER
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Dear Reader,
The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
Love and light,
Elisa
