Before I share this stellar insight from Erik (and I must say, he’s been on a roll. Lot’s of good stuff,) I want you to know that my sister and brother-in-law are coming into town so I won’t be posting anything from Monday through Thursday. 🙁 Hope this one makes up for it, though!

Uncertainty is the root of fear

Distrust is the root of uncertainty

Scarcity is the root of distrust

Hostility is the root of scarcity

Sorrow is the root of hostility

Attachment is the root of sorrow

Fear is the root of attachment

Chaos is the root of all

Harmony is the equal opposite of chaos

Me: What about the loss of a sense of safety? Some many feel like they’re not safe in the world.

Erik: Now, that one, I really identify with, not because of my family because I felt completely safe there, but from the seesaw going back and forth, back and forth. That sense of imbalance didn’t make me feel safe.

(Long pause)

Robert: Well, Erik, what are you doing now?

Erik: I’m just waiting.

Me: Waiting for what? I want you to share your insight on what the loss of a sense of safety is all about.

Erik: Here’s the thing about that. When you don’t feel safe, you have to ask yourself, “What is that rooted in? Why don’t I feel safe?” It’s rooted in attachment like lots of things, but that attachment, in particular, is connected to a sense of uncertainty. When you don’t have a sense of certainty in life, which is what I experienced from an emotional perspective—

Me: It’s that seesaw. Up and down, up and down.

Erik: Yeah! I didn’t know. One minute I could be fine and happy, and then something would switch and it’s everything shifted. It was really quick. That made me feel so unsafe. Ultimately, for other people, it’s coming from an emotional place like everything does, but a specific example of how people might create and attachment to uncertainty, go back to childhood, kids who are raised in an environment where their parents didn’t get along. So, they get divorced and that whole family unit falls apart. If, as a child, that family structure was all you’ve known and suddenly it doesn’t exist anymore, she might think, “Damn. This means nothing could ever last very long.” There’s that uncertainty. For people like that, this is a path that gives them the opportunity to either study that uncertainty and go through all the hell it can create for them and allow themselves to suffer. From that suffering, they can strip themselves down to nearly nothing and get that opportunity to redefine who they are. For some people, they get the message right away and they recognize, “Well, cool! If everything is uncertain, then I have the ability to map out things for myself and make them certain for a period of time. Then when that period is over with, I have another opportunity to do that again. How fucking cool is that? I’m in the driver’s seat!”

Me: I’m sure very few people take that perspective.

Erik: Hardly anyone, but that’s what we’re all working towards. Most people don’t get it until they’re taking their last breath, and then they think, “Wait. This was all up to me! These were my choices.” I can’t tell you how many times, cuz that’s one of the other things I’ve done, Mom, is I’ve helped to guide people back to the other side—sometimes they see me, and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I just bring their relatives over to do it. But when I do guide them back here, I see how common that epiphany is. In their last few moments, they realized that everything was within their power and always was.

Me: So they were safe all along.

Erik: They were always safe. The best antidote for being comfortable with uncertainty and chaos so that you can feel safe is to first embrace your own power. Power just means that you have the ability to choose. The second thing is to accept that nothing is every meant to be forever. Everything is in constant change, in constant motion. That’s a good definition for chaos, constant change. It’s not randomness. It’s constant change.

Me: Interesting.

Erik: And we have to be okay with that because that constant changes pushes us to develop different levels of awareness.

Me: Yeah, and it seems like, with constant change and the different levels of awareness that comes with it creates opportunities for ourselves. If everything is certain, then all you focus on is one path along the road that leads to one goal. You might miss the beautiful flowers along the way and the many forks and intersections that might take you to other places.

Erik: That’s right, Mom. It makes things very linear. Uncertainty does create many opportunities. It presents you with an infinite number of choices. In the case of the broken family situation, that choice might be to see the value in persistence and acceptance. It might be, like I said, to feel unsafe to the degree that you suffer. It might be to redefine your role in the family. There are infinite possibilities.

Me: So, to sum it all up…

Erik: Recognize the beauty of uncertainty.

Major shivers here.

Do Spirits Take a Leak? (The Monster Under the Bed, Part Two)