I had the dubious pleasure of sitting in the dentist’s chair for three hours this morning. I had three fillings that were very old and cracked probably in part due to the stress related teeth grinding. I wish I could wear a night guard but when I have before, I salivate so much that I can’t stand it. I know. Gross. The shots weren’t so bad. The worst part about it includes the fact that it takes so much time out of my day and I have to stretch my mouth open so wide for so long. Then the questions come and when I answer, they can’t understand a word I’m saying. I’m so happy to get it over with. Now I’m just waiting for the numbing medication to wear off so I’ll stop drooling in public. 

Enjoy this post about painful pasts. I know many of you have had one. 

Me: Hi, Kim.

Kim: Hello, hello.

Me: Hi, again, Erik.

Erik: Hi, again, Mom.

Me: Look we can talk about different things, but I’ll give you a choice, okay? How to let go of a painful past, and also we talked about bringing Einstein back in to talk about the physics of death and talk a little bit more about dark matter and dark energy but mostly what happens, physics-wise, upon death. Or we can talk about the root of self-sabotage. Name your poison.

Kim (chuckling): He laughed when you said that.

Erik: How to let go of a painful past.

Me: Okay, because so many of us have had a painful past. Probably most of the people who find their way to the blog do so because they have had a life of pain.

Erik: Everybody can relate to this. This can be helpful on a large scale so that’s why I chose this topic. You want me to start? Do you have a question? You want me to start?

Kim (laughing): He’s being goofy.

Me: No, I’ll give you free rein. Free rein chicken.

Kim (laughing): So then he made a chicken noise.

Erik: All right. The reason so many people have a hard time letting go of a painful past—there are so many dynamics to it. One of the biggest things that people do and go through is, um—

Kim clears her throat.

Kim: What is going on with my throat today?

Me: Uh oh. I hope you’re not coming down with something!

Kim: No, it’s weird. It only happens when I channel. I clear my throat constantly when I channel.

The right side of Robert’s neck turns really red when he channels.

Erik: People feel the need to regurgitate past situations in their mind over and over and over. Females do this more than males.

Kim: Boy, he’s picking on females today!

Erik: It’s because of a need for understanding. They regurgitate it over and over to try to understand what happened and what they can take away from it but also when you—

Kim (laughing): He’s making fun of me. Maybe I’ll share that. If I get brave enough, I might share it.

She never does. Must be a juicy one.

Me: Okay.

Kim: He really wants me to but…

Erik: Part of going through past situations is to go back to the situation and play back all possible scenarios. That, in itself, can lead to—that’s a whole can of worms. Do you want me to open it?

Kim: No, not right now.

Erik: When they play out all those scenarios like, “If I would have done this instead of that, then this could have happened,” they manifest that reality for themselves. People beat themselves up with those “what ifs.” The reason why people hold onto that is because— it’s not intentional. It may seem intentional, and people get stuck and caught up in this nasty funk that can take forever to get out of. Whether it’s a situation, whether it’s a tragedy, they haven’t processed and healed from that circumstance so that’s why it’s still with them. Once they start to truly release the attachment to that situation and understand it like, “Why did this happen to me?” “Why is this a part of my life?” and they can process if effectively, then the attachment will dissolve.

(Long pause)

Kim (shaking her head nervously): Yeah, I’m not going to go there, Erik. I’m not sharing that one. Sorry!

Chicken!

Kim and I laugh.

Me: Poor Kim! What are you doing to her?

Erik: No matter what it is that you’re “hanging onto,” know that there are so many people who are like, “Why can’t I get over this?” “Why can’t I move on?” If you take the true sense of self and connect to the Now in this moment and only focus on what you have now, that’s honestly the only thing that truly matters. Yes, you learn from your past, but you’re not in your past. Continuing to go there mentally is literally torture to your soul. It’s very damaging.

Me: Yeah.

That’s why I like to call myself a thriver instead of a survivor. The latter implies being stuck in victimhood while the former places you in the Now.

Erik: But it’s easy for you guys. It’s easy for you guys, but it’s not easy for us here to hang onto what feels like garbage. We can’t. It’s just not possible.

Me: It’s just too dense and heavy, huh?

Erik: Yeah, it’s too heavy.

(Long pause as Kim listens)

Kim (laughing): Oh my gosh. Here comes the cussing.

Erik: It’s like carrying the heaviest bag of shit you can imagine.

Me: I wouldn’t carry a light bag of shit so…

Kim laughs.

Erik: If I can help any of you step out of that and move away from that, know that any past situation that you feel has got you caught up in a funk does not have to define you. A lot of people think that. A lot of people are like, “I lost my dad, and now I’m the person without a dad.” While that might be true that you went through that change in family dynamics, but it doesn’t change who you are. If doesn’t define you. People who let the past define them get sluggish and caught up in this funk, and then they can’t have the motivation to move forward. People let situations, occurrences, events and even other people define who they are, and that takes away from their own purity and sense of self. So getting down to the root of it, realize that you are who you are without anything around you and without experiences. You are a being all by yourself with your own energy makeup. Things around you are going to affect your vibration in certain ways, but ultimately, you don’t have to carry it. That also comes from guilt. People feel guilty so they have to carry that right here in their chest.

He places a hand over his chest.

Erik: “You know, I don’t want to be happy. I lost my husband, and I shouldn’t be happy anymore.” People do the same with eating, even if it’s after a bad breakup. “Oh, I can’t eat. I’m too emotional. I can’t eat.”

Me: Or they break out the Ben and Jerry’s.

Kim (chuckling): Yeah.

Erik: It’s specific to people and how they process things, but –

And the suspense continues! Stay tuned for Part Two Wednesday. I’ll include the last few sentences from this post to orient you. Don’t forget to download the CE app from the app store or

the Google Play.