It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from Patrick and his “substitute committee,” but it’s worth the wait! For those interested, Patrick’s site is HERE. Check out his celebrity interviews there, too!
ST: Erik, you jumped into a session of mine not too long ago and mentioned cats evolved into the 15-20 pound sized domesticate-able variety and also the buffalo killer variety, with “help”. Would that be extraterrestrial assistance?
Erik: Yes.
ST: Why? What was the purpose?
Erik: Kill buffalo.
ST: Seriously, man…
Erik: Killing a buffalo is serious to the buffalo.
ST: Who’s your gang of goons?
Erik: They’re your associates, and I was drafted into service. Hup, hup, one, two, one, two….
ST: So, what’s the deal with tigers and lions?
Erik: Two sides to it; the opportunity for a soul to experience life as a large, killer cat and also for the animals the cats encounter.
ST: Isn’t there an ecological consideration? Balance and equilibrium of species, what we’re always told will decimate the Earth if we screw with it?
Erik: The bad news is, humans have been screwing with Earth since there were humans, and it’s a permanent condition. Still around, still screwin’….The good news is, no. When there’s an adjustment in what y’all call nature, it moves somebody’s cheese, shakes their drink, rattles their cage. Change is good, unless it’s in your pocket and it’s all you have when you try to buy a house.
ST: Change means a re-balancing, and many people don’t like that.
Erik: ‘Cause they don’t see it leveling out. Tsunamis flow in, they flow out. Roller coasters rise and drop, all of it settles out. If everything played out exactly the way we’d expect, boredom could kill like a plague. Like farting, you’re never sure how noisy it’ll be. That’s excitement, man.
ST: Next you’ll tell me you’re gonna invent a marijuana aroma version of passing gas.
Erik: Good idea, thanks. Watch out, Earth.
ST: Thank you for taking a break from your family vacation to visit, by the way.
Erik: It’s a vacation for me all the time, so it’s easy to take a break, I just go back where I leave off. Like everything.
ST: If cats hadn’t been managed into the sizes we have on Earth, then what?
Erik: They’d be just like now, but not as big. Panthers, jaguars on up wouldn’t be around.
ST: What ecosystem effect would there have been?
Erik: The usual targets would die from other stuff. There aren’t that many big cats in the world’s animal population, anyway.
ST: Is it cruel to keep a tiger in a zoo?
Erik: No, it’s the only way humans can come close without the tiger getting killed by them.
ST: Explain what you mean by going back where you leave off.
Erik: Time is everything lined up; off Earth, it’s like books you write as you read. You can go back to where the bookmark is, it waits. On Earth, life is a bunch of chapters and books and a lot of ’em have blank pages to write shit in. Everybody does, so the book ends up different, if you want. If you want to re-write the book, you can. Everybody on Earth is an author.
ST: Like reincarnation?
Erik: Yeah, but you can do it inside one lifetime too, if you want. If you write that into your book’s outline before you hit the pen & paper.
ST: Or keyboard.
Erik: Or pavement. Yeah.
ST: Is there a library catalog in Heaven?
Erik: Yup, it’s called God.
ST: Makes me want to tell a joke about an atheist librarian.
Erik: I will; why couldn’t the atheist librarian go to church?
ST: Why?
Erik: Too busy, he was booked solid.
ST: [Face palm] What’s the purpose of a life lived as a lion or tiger, with the ability to fight off or eliminate almost any threat?
Erik: Same as house cats, to show how power is responsible. That’s automatic for most people, they never expect a cat will hurt them and it almost never happens. The big cats are feared and respected, and don’t abuse it. A good solution for prisons, put a few tigers in with the worst offenders. Shit would be as calm as a church, and the inmates would learn something.
ST: That’s an interesting idea, but I’d guess a few would get hurt or killed.
Erik: They’d sure learn something, too, wouldn’t they?
ST: Do the big animals also have a life course, like humans?
Erik: Yes, pretty much every living being on Earth does, but many beings on Earth serve a purpose impossible to understand from a human Earth life. Like being a tree, or a bed bug.
ST: Bed bugs, mosquitoes without wings.
Erik: Wear bug spray to bed until the house gets fumigated.
ST: What would Earth look like without bugs?
Erik: A lot more ugly. What would politicians look like without corruption? Same deal, we’d all be so disappointed.
ST: You’re in the sarcastic joke mood today, huh?
Erik: Everyday.
ST: Can we ask a politically incorrect question about current world events?
Erik: Fire away.
ST: What about Ebola virus?
Erik: It’s caused by the internet. The bola virus spread more slowly than the e-bola virus.
ST: Is that virus going to become a pandemic, or epidemic?
Erik: No, but the show isn’t over yet, either.
ST: Is there a cure coming?
Erik: Yeah and replacements, too. You’ve heard cancer rates have increased, that’s because of two things; people live longer now so more opportunity and also, more life plans choose it.
ST: This gets back to the same thing covered many times, the cruel idea misfortune, suffering and strife, including diseases, are not usually random, arbitrary or haphazard.
Erik: Some people plan to smoke to get the cancer they planned, and they do. Other plan to smoke to see if it develops, without certainty it’ll happen and others plan on cancer to recover and experience the disease and to beat it. Some go home from it. Lots of these things are planned. They can’t look that way, seem that way or the purpose goes away.
ST: Sounds so cruel. Like saying people deserve bad things.
Erik: OK, let’s imagine Earth where everybody lives three times as long as now, and everybody dies in a peaceful, pleasant way, right on schedule. Nobody knows the schedule, but as soon as the end of life symptoms start, everybody knows what’s coming. You know what humans would do, given the mentality of humanity right now? Euthanasia across the board; suicide will become like a greeting card. Good idea? Not!
ST: Shit, Erik, never thought of that. I bet you’re right.
Erik: Less doctors, less medical treatment and everybody would just watch the older, sick people die. Think of that.
ST: Unintended consequences.
Erik: Right now, there’s a shitload of attention on people, especially kids and sometimes without parents, going to the United States without following the immigration rules. Let’s open up the border and let everyone that wants to cross, just do it. What’ll happen?
ST: I sense a really politically incorrect thought coming, hate mail to follow? Screw it, we’ve come this far, let’s keep going.
Erik: Two things happen; one, nothing would be as bad as some people say, but other things would be worse and nobody’s thinking about those things happening.
ST: What’s the bad news?
Erik: It pretty much destroys the countries the incoming people leave behind.
ST: OK, let’s shift gears. Hamas Israeli troubles are in the news, like everywhere. What’s up there?
Erik: Latest chapter in a long book.
ST: Is the book almost finished?
Erik: That is something still up in the air, like sports. There are a bunch of authors out there who want the book to go on forever. Won’t happen, ’cause they all gotta die sometime.
ST: The conflicts seem so pointless.
Erik: They aren’t, ’cause if there really were no point to it, they wouldn’t be happening.
ST: We’ve bounced all over the subject landscape, without a destination. What do you want to talk about?
Erik: Motorcycles. You’d really like the Indian Scout you were lookin’ at. Get a red one, if you want. You’ll like it with the windshield.
ST: You mean windscreen? We have to use British vocabulary also, not just spelling!
Erik: As soon as you get a passport from there, we’re doin’ it.
ST: What motorcycle would you have on Earth, right now?
Erik: What’s the budget?
ST: Any bike you want, but only one.
Erik: A Ducati.
ST: We’re going along a bit here, time to finish up?
Erik: Like a yuppie sandwich, it’s a wrap!
ST: So long, Erik.
Erik: Later.
