In this post, Erik shows that he continues to grow, to find ways to help his new family. God how I love him. It’s nice to know that we continue to progress and acquire wisdom on the other side.

Me: What’s the best way to connect with a higher source of wisdom and guidance?

Erik: Mental and emotional discipline. Period.

Me: Okay.

I can hear Jamie snickering in the background.

Me: End of entry!

Jamie (still giggling): He’s waiting for you to complain.

Me: I know.

Erik: Okay, so mental discipline—that’s the meditation. Emotional discipline is like being able to identify how you’re feeling—to not go numb.

Me: Okay.

Erik: And—

Jamie: Oh, and you can tac—what are you saying?

Erik: You can write in there, “physical discipline,” because you have to have that in telling yourself to follow these things. You have to take time. It’s not like you can just go one weekend out of the year and just totally fucking get it. You incorporate it into your lifestyle. It’s not like purchasing a telephone and just having it. You know, you have to plug it in, you have to use it. What if it’s broken? It needs your attention. You have to give it attention, and that’s the physical aspect.

Me: And you have to use it all the time? You can’t just use it one day and then put it away like the telephone? You can’t just use it and put it in the closet.

Erik: Yes. Set up the time, you know. Make it part of a routine. Tap into it.

(Pause)

Jamie (whispering to me): You know he’s going to say something off-the-cuff. He leans back and he’ll usually put an elbow up and like lean his head on his hand somehow—on his cheek or on his forehead or chin. And he kind of looks up and away.

Erik: Why is it that people think they can just get the reward?

Me: It’s more fun that way!

Erik: Is it? I really thought it was more fun if you, you know, like discovered it for yourself, learned it for yourself.

Me: Oh yeah. Exactly. It is. It is.

Erik: It’s that whole lotto mentality.

Me: Yeah.

(Long pause)

Me: Is that it?

Jamie: Yeah, he’s up and looking again.

Erik: Life is not a lottery.

(Long, long pause)

Jamie (to Erik): What are you thinking about, Erik? What are you doing?

Erik: Nothing.

Jamie: Yooou, I think, just lied to me, which goes against the inner honesty code you just talked about!

Me: Oh, busted!

Erik: Okay, I was thinking about ways to help people.

Me: Aw, Sweetie, you already are.

Erik: I was thinking about ways to discuss why life isn’t a lottery, that luck does play a part, but you have to show up and play to even be part of the game.

Me: Mm.

Erik: It just gave me other things to start thinking about.

Me: Aw, that’s my boy!

Jamie: He’s smiling really big.

Erik: Lukas used to hate it when you phased out, Mom.

Me: When I would phase out? Yeah, I do it all the time. ADD. Actually, I think I just dissociate and go out of body.