Dr. Doug has his hip surgery later today, so everyone send him all the love and healing energy possible! He’s a lovely man and a devoted blog member, but his prosthetic hips have been making his life a living hell.
Me: Okay, what diseases can arise from self-loathing? What can that cause? Because a lot of people just don’t seem to feel worthy of love.
Erik (in a sing-song voice): CANCER!
Me: Oh, god, yeah. I guess they get eaten up inside.
Erik: Yep. Let’s just put that at number one, top of the list.
Me: How about pettiness? What disease can that cause, you know, when people are just so small-minded?
Jamie giggles at whatever Erik says.
Jamie (to Erik in a reluctant tone): Pettiness. Alright, fine! (then to me): The first thing he shows me is when men can’t pee right.
Me: Oh yeah?
Jamie: Like prostate trouble. What? Does it swell or something like that?
Jamie (chuckling): He calls that the pettiness.
Me: Okay, but what about in women?
Erik: Heart tension, arrhythmia. That’s number one. Irregular heartbeats. Then there’s ulcers and digestive problems because they can’t control the situation.
Me: What situation?
Erik: Whatever they’re being petty about and their own pettiness. Some men can control their pettiness, but usually woman can’t.
Me: Oh! Okay, what about greediness and over-indulgence?
Erik: Damn, where do I start? Let’s see, high cholesterol, heart attacks, more issues with the intestines, but mostly, you get into a lot of mental disorders.
Me: Oh, really? Like what?
Jamie (to Erik, laughing hard): I don’t think that’s what you call it!
Jamie (again to Erik): Okay, you win. I’ll say it that way. “Kings disease.”
Me: Oh, gout, maybe?
Jamie: King’s disease? What’s that?
Me: I think it must be gout, because I know King Henry VIII had horrible gout.
Jamie (giggling): Okay, cool! I’m glad it made sense!
Me: Yeah, me too! So what about jealousy?
Erik: Jealousy is pretty much a self-destructive feeling, even though you’d think it would be external, you know, targeted to the other person.
Me: Yeah, sure.
Erik: But really it’s you beating yourself up because you can’t or haven’t achieved what that other person has done. So, it’s about not being able to acknowledge your goal and then being able to achieve it. That brings on self-destruction.
Me: Yeah, and not being able to embrace the other person’s success.
Erik: Yep, so migraines, headaches can stem from that. Also arthritis, stiffness in the joints. It’s like you can’t get up and try to do what the other person is doing.
Me: Ah, okay. Let’s see, one more. What about anxiety? So many people have anxiety disorders.
Erik: Anxiety is lungs, number one, heart, number two, and stomach, number three.
Erik: We can pretty much combine all this together. Respiratory, circulatory, and digestive. When these three systems break down or act up, then the hormones totally send off the wrong signals. It’s a complete bust. A complete bust of the system. Now, how a person behaves within it, they might only feel shortness of breath, or they might feel lke they’re having a heart attack—
Me: Like a panic attack, kind of.
Erik: —or they feel like they can’t eat, sometimes for days, like they can’t take it all in and digest it.
Erik: So it depends on how they’re absorbing it. Anxiety, I feel, is—
Jamie (laughing): He’s correcting me. He says he knows, not feels. He goes, “No, no no! I KNOW this.”
Erik: Yeah, in America, it’s like the number one thing.
Me: Oh, yeah, I bet.
Erik: It’s SOOOO the number one thing. When we look energetically at what causes the most diseases, it’s the feeling of anxiety.
Me: Wow. So we should just spike the water supply with Xanax or Valium, I guess.
Erik (in jest): Well, I think more than half the people are on it already!
Me: Oh, wait. I wanna clarify something. You said the “King’s Disease” after saying greed and over-indulgence usually causes a lot of mental disorders, but gout isn’t a mental issue.
Erik: Yeah, but it can result from greed, and—
Me: I know King George the Something or Other was crazy, but I think that was caused by hereditary porphyria.
Erik: Yeah, but that’s not what I meant. I meant that disease where you think you’re the center of the fuckin’ universe.
Me: Oh! Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Erik: Yeah, what she said. Seriously, that is a really common disorder for people in power, especially dictators, but a lot of other people in power.
Me: What comes first, the chicken or the egg? Does the power make them that way or—
Erik: No! People with that mental disease seek power, then when they get into power, it just stokes their engine even more.
Me: Great. We probably have a few of those in office all over the country.
Erik: Yeah, but not all.
Me: I hope not. Maybe everyone running for office needs to undergo rigorous psychological and personality testing, then release the results to the voters. I mean, I don’t want any crazy people steering the ship!