Erik was often misunderstood by so many. He sometimes came across as intense and disheveled. He was tormented by tics and an addiction for cigarettes. But behind all that was a diamond in the rough. Few were kinder. Few were more loving. Few were as understanding. Few were as willing to sacrifice for others.

Sometimes I felt like the only one in the world who saw the real soul that Erik was. This was a lonely feeling. That changed when I received this email from one of his friends:

Dear Dr Medhus,

It is with much respect and condolences that I accepted your invitation to be on your friend list for face book. I have thought about your son Erik and your family often, praying that you find any comfort possible in your egregious loss of his untimely death.

My last memory of Erik was at Starbucks. I have been employed there for 3 years, and this is how I have come to befriend Erik.

He truly was one of my favorite Memorial students, which actually says alot. I did not have patience (sometimes still don’t) for many of their adolescent behaviors and attitudes. Erik was different than most of the students and I was always happy to see him. He was always ready to offer a smile, or help to keep the peace on the porch when I had to ask them to behave. We chatted often at the bar or on the patio.

It was very close to his death when he came into the store seeming withdrawn, not his usual self (at least with me)

I gave him a drink on the house and we chatted some. I was a little concerned, embarrassed to say that I chalked it up to a bad day or a bad week…he’ll get over it.

He asked me if I would be his friend on facebook and I was happy to say yes. He added me that day.

It was only a few short days later before I got the news of his suicide.

I wish that I would have listened to my instinct and tried to reach out to Erik more. He was a great kid.

I started reading your blog, and it is inspiring, heart warming to believe that he is still with us on this earthly realm, watching over his friends and family. Though he has peace on the other side, I want you to know I still pray for your family often!

I wish I could offer much more to you, it is unfortunatley the best I can give right now.

Please let Erik know that I think of him fondly and miss him too, when you have your next visit with him.

May you feel his presence often, and may your memories of him be a balm to your breaking heart.

Respectfully,

Amber XXXXXX

When I read this letter, I couldn’t help but sob. My tears were those of gratitude and joy, but also of sorrow that Erik never realized just how worthy of love he was. Here is my response:

Amber, thank you so much for your note. I’ve felt so alone and sad that no one truly ever understood him except me. He was scruffy and directionless, was plagued by tics and a poor self-esteem, but oh, what a soul. He was so sweet and affectionate. I never heard him say a single bad thing about anyone. He’d get mad at people, but would never hurl personal insults at them. And he loved when people found success. He didn’t have a jealous or petty bone in his body. I thought, until now, that I was the only one who really understood that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for proving me wrong. Can I post your comments on my blog so others can understand him as well? I will leave any part or all of your name out if you wish.

Her response:

You have my blessing to post whatever you like. I am betting there are so many more people than you realize who saw Erik as a sweet soul. I am glad to show you at least I did.

I hope to receive many such letters in the future. I pray that Erik, with his deeper, broader perception, finally understands how loved he truly was. How bittersweet that some must come to that understanding only after death.