Ringo will be picked up from the vet today. Apparently, he sailed through surgery with no problems. Not only that, I called the emergency vet where I took the Jack Russell to be scanned and, in spite of the fact that her chip wasn’t registered, they found the owners. 

Missed yesterday’s Hour of Enlightenment show about seeking approval? Here it is:

Enjoy today’s Best of Erik!

Me: Okay. Do souls fall in love the same way we do?

Erik: Not exactly. We don’t have courtship, because when you’re getting to know a new soul; you’re completely vulnerable energetically. Your story is vulnerable. Past lives, future lives are all there to be experienced. There’s no need to withhold or play a role. You know instantly if you’re going to be connected to this other spirit. It’s not like we’re all walking around with this love at first sight kind of a crap. Just because you can see everything about someone doesn’t mean you’re going to be easy about hooking up with them. And there’s no sexually transmitted diseases.

Me: Yay.

Erik: No penis. No vagina. You can create one, but we don’t use them.

Jamie (laughing): I’m blushing right now. I don’t know why.

Erik: The beauty of the relationship is that the whole “who the fuck are you?” phase, and “Are you lying to me?” and “Are you who you say you are to me?” is totally gone. And that’s why it’s different.

Me: Do you have intimate relationships? Sexual relationships?

Erik: Yes.

Me: How does it differ in terms of emotions, communications and physical sensations?

Erik: It’s awesome, because you know how you know when you’re done with someone like you meet someone as a friend, and they’re fucking amazing, and you hang out all the time, and the two of you make each other better people, and then it kind of plateaus, and the need is accomplished, and it’s over, and even though you still love each other, you don’t have time for each other in your lives. You split amicably, and you talk still, but it’s long distance, and you never lose touch. That kind of separation right there. Like if I’m in a relationship with someone, and then we realize we’ve done everything we can for each other, we won’t hang on to the concept of trying to stay monogamous out of guilt. It’s like, “Thanks for taking me to the place I am. Now I’m going to search for a person who’s going to help me grow.” There’s no heartbreak like you feel on Earth. That shit hurts!

Erik knew only too well.

Me: What about the physical sensation of sex there?

Erik: Ah, it’s beyond words. It’s like having fireworks in your pants!

Jamie and I laugh.

Jamie: That was a funny picture!

Erik: You’d think that since there’s no rules to all this that we’d be doing it with everyone, like sex maniacs, but it’s not true. It’s almost like cuz there’s not rules here, we respect it more. It’s very special when it happens, and it’s not constant, but if you wanna dream that way, go ahead. (He chuckles.) And when it does—

Jamie laughs as hard as I’ve ever heard her laugh!

Erik drops his head, reaches around to the back of his cap, and slides the it over the front of his face.

Jamie: His hair is all over his face. The bill of his cap was cocked a little to the side as usual.

Erik: I can’t believe I’m fucking talking about this. My Mom!

Jamie (to Erik): That’s cute Erik. You’re uncomfortable, and that makes me happy, but it is fun.

Jamie laughs for several minutes and struggles so hard for the next few minutes to compose herself.

Jamie: It feels so good to laugh and see him on the other end of it for once.

Erik: It’s just awesome. Can’t we just stop there?

Me: No! How do you do it? Do you merge energy?

Erik: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Awkward pause)

Jamie (to Erik): Tell me about it. Come on! I’ll turn my back!

Erik (to Jamie): It’s not you that creeps me out. Okay, remember that stupid movie, Ghost?

Jamie: It’s not a stupid movie!

Erik: Swayze moved the penny on the wall. So there are densities that we can do in our spiritual body that makes it to where we can interact with three dimensional or material objects. So, we can create a resistance like clapping hands. (I hear Jamie clap once.) They stop and make a sound. We can make that with our own bodies. So, if we’re in a crowded street with other spirits, we don’t just merge into their energy, right? We’re like water and oil. Wooo! We just move around each other. We have this way of kind of densing up that fine layer of energy that’s containing our bubble of consciousness. I sort of put that out, because you have to focus on dropping that down or heightening it, but you have to focus on letting that guard down so that you can merge with someone. Bringing your energy up, that shit takes time to learn.

Jamie (to Erik): Ah! Did you have a hard time learning that to begin with?

Me: Hard time getting it up, Erik?

Erik (chuckling): Maybe!

Me (laughing): You needed an energetic Viagra!

Erik (in a sing-song voice): I just don’t wanna talk about this!

Jamie: But you know that’s a yes.

Erik: Okay, but getting back to it. When you can kind of let that guard down, you’re then able to receive someone else’s energetic being inside you. The two energies merge and create one, and it’s like feeling touch on every single part of your body.

Jamie starts howling with laughter again.

Jamie: I can’t say this! I’m so sorry. Focus. Focus.

Erik: I imagine what it’s like to be a woman and to have a clit—

Jamie can’t pull herself together for several seconds.

Jamie (laughing still): I’m so childish, I know! (At first, she’s too embarrassed to say the word, but eventually bites the bullet.)

Erik: Like having a clitoris for your entire body.

We both burst out laughing.

Jamie (still laughing. Of course): Can you just imagine the rest, please?

(Pause as Jamie listens to Erik)

Jamie (to Erik): Yes, if you could just talk about a male organ, that would be better.

I guess Jamie feels uncomfortable having a male, even in spirit, talk about female sexual anatomy.

Erik: Okay, it’s like the tip of your dick. Your whole body is like the tip of your dick. It’s so sensitive to touch, and it’s getting touched constantly the whole time, and you just want to squirm out of your body, but you want to stay put at the same time. And it’s not only the physical sensation. It hits you on the emotional sensation, and your mind lights up. It doesn’t just disappear like it does when you have sex on Earth, because the emotions finally get the front seat. The sex here is physical and mental and emotional. The whole fucking shebang has front seat. It’s kind of mind-boggling to even really comprehend—

Again, Jamie bursts into laughter. I get the feeling she’ll never be the dame after today.

Me: Are you five shades of red now?

Jamie: Why can’t I say the word clitoris! It’s hard! The images that your son gives! There’s one that’s just—what? Like this, your—I’m –like this big, flowery vagina.

Me: Oh, no!

Jamie: And the clit is just so big, and it has this happy face on it! That’s why I kept losing it!

Now it all makes sense.

Me: Jesus.

Jamie and I laugh hard for several seconds, barely able to catch our breath.

Erik: Jamie, laughter is the number one healer.

Jamie’s had a nasty cold for the next few weeks.

Me: Well, then you should be well by yesterday. Well, we’ll go on for both of you. I’m fine here. Pays to be a doctor, I guess. Anyway, bisexuality. This is the last question. Thank you, Jesus. Bisexuality. Is it more evolved?

Erik: Yes.

Me: So, bisexuals here on Earth are more evolved that heterosexuals?

Erik: Yeah, cuz it’s more of an open love. Receiving love no matter what the package is.

Me (grinning): Package?

Erik: Yeah. The body.

Jamie (laughing): Oh! Elisa brings game!

Me: Well, I didn’t know! I just wanted to make sure I knew what you were talking about.

Jamie: Oh my god. I’m going to dream about this, tonight, I know.

Me: Nightmares, you mean. Anything else you want to share about sex in the afterlife?

Erik: If I do, you’ll want to die now.

Me: Okay. That’s all then.