Just had my first real EMDR session and all I can say is: That’s some powerful s*#t!!! Amazing. Simply amazing. I’ll continue to act as y’all’s guinea pig and keep you updated!
Comedic talent never dies, as this entry proves. In this three part series, you’ll laugh, cry and sometimes feel the urge to wrap your arms around Chris. Enjoy.
Me: Who shall we interview next, Erik?
Erik: Chris is waiting here.
Me: Oh, good! Step up to the mike, Chris! Hello. How are you?
Jamie listens to Chris’s response, then bursts out laughing.
Jamie: Oh, Erik. How are we going to get through this one?
Erik belly laughs in agreement. Me, I’m left out of the joke, I guess.
Me: Oh my gosh, I just LOVE you, Chris! I don’t know how many times I’ve watched Tommy Boy, and I’ve seen all of your other movies. You and your work has been such a bright spot in our family!
Jamie (chuckling): Tommy Boy! I did. I saw that once, but I don’t have much time to watch videos.
Me: I’m sure you don’t, Jamie. But Chris, I want to tell you that your death was a great loss for our family. Just the thought of having no more Chris Farley movies to watch was just terrible for us. We spend a lot of time quoting you at the dinner table. What are we going to do? How can we go on living? (I say this in jest, of course.)
Chris: Thank you, thank you. Well, let’s all sit down and take a moment and thank God for video!
Everyone laughs.
Me: So, Chris, I guess we better get serious here if we’re going to get through this today. Can you share what beliefs you had about death and the afterlife before you died?
Jamie listens, then laughs.
Me: This is going to be fun, I can tell.
Chris: Do you KNOW who I am?
Me: Um, yeah!
Chris (in a strong Irish brogue): Iiiiirish Catholic!
Jamie: I can’t imitate his accent, but he says it in a higher pitched voice and really rolls that R.
Chris (in mock importance, still in an Irish brogue): EVERYTHING was about the Sacred Heart; everything was focused on the Mother Mary and the Jesus and the Holy Ghost, and everybody just sat around a table and had some wine and bread.
(Pause)
Chris (trying his best to pretend to be somber): This is very serious. You know, I remember being in school—I grew up in a Catholic school—and I remember thinking, ‘These are damn great stories! I wonder if Jesus every farted?’
Everyone laughs hard.
Me: Well, maybe I should put that on my list of questions for you to find out, Erik!
Erik laughs.
Chris: Nowhere in the bible did they say that Jesus was walking and the palms were waving and then Jesus said, “Excuse me a second; I need to go take a shit,” and go and do his thing and come back to give the greatest sermon of his life!
Jamie and I laugh to the point of tears.
Chris: Don’t you see that the man was so holy and in all the stories, he only ate once? It’s amazing! I think he’s part woman, because: never burped, never farted, never did anything bad.
Me (still laughing): Oh my God, Chris! You’re killing me here!
Chris: Well, you know women never do these things.
Me: Of course not. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!
Jamie (laughing): Erik is almost flat on my countertop laughing so hard. Did Jesus ever fart!
(We continue to laugh for awhile, then I gain my composure, at least to some extent.)
Me: So, what happened when you crossed over, Chris? Did you see Jesus and ask him?
Chris: You know, that should have been my first question! I don’t know what was wrong with me in that moment. Just didn’t cross my mind! I was actually in awe. For once in my life, I was actually in awe of something that was profoundly close to me.
Me: What was your transition like for you?
Chris: It was confusing; It was a struggle. And there were several days where I thought, ‘You know, I wish today would be the day that I died.’
Me: Aw, Chris.
(Pause)
Chris: And it never happened. And because it never happened, I got the J.C. complex.
Me: You mean Jesus Christ?
Chris: Yeah. I felt like it was just never going to happen. It really came with that invincible feeling.
Jamie: That’s why he calls it the J.C. complex.
Me: Yeah, I understand.
Chris: I’m sure you’ve read all about my life, and you know, when somebody dies, they like to dig everything up that they can so they can make it (air quotes) “Media friendly.”
Chris snickers.
