Outta Control, Part Two

Many of you new members have reported visits, pranks or (as usual) nasty smells from Erik. You veterans know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t received any, ask Erik to grace you with his presence (haha). Don’t worry; he never does anything scary like hover one inch over your face and yell “BOO!” when you open your eyes. Please be sure to share your experiences on the “Erik Encounters” page in the “About Erik” drop down menu at the top of the homepage. Thanks!

Enjoy Part Two!

Me: What about losing control of a situation?

Erik: Let’s take sickness. Say you have cancer. You can’t change that fact. You can’t control what’s going to have to happen to take care of the cancer. You first have to accept it. You have to accept not only the cancer but all the things that have to take place because you have it. That acceptance is a willingness to go along with it. That’s following the river. The river is telling you, “This is the course.” How do you guide yourself from the riverbank? You try to treat the cancer, manage the side effects of the treatment, find support groups and stuff like that.

Me: What about the loss of control over one of my situations? I couldn’t control the outcome of whether you were going to live or die, and I couldn’t control what happened to me as a child. There are so many examples in my own life.

Erik: In every case, whether losing control of a person, yourself or a situation you’re in, it’s about losing control of the feelings about any of these three. It’s all rooted in a loss of control over feelings. When this happens, if you can’t step back and see the situation objectively and relinquish that need to control, you need to find someone, professional or other wise, that will help you communicate about it honestly. They can help you reflect on the anatomy of your situation, your reaction to it and the feelings you have surrounding it.

Me: Let’s go back to my situation. How could someone help me deal with losing control over whether you’d die?

Erik: They’re going to listen to you talk again and again and again and again.

Me: How could that help me?

Erik: Each time you tell the story, you gain more insight and detail. Slowly, they walk you to the truth that, not only can you not control everything, it’s not your responsibility to, but there’s got to be a willingness on both sides to communicate and listen honestly and openly.

Me: So, in general, what you’re saying is that rather than fight for control, guide it from the bank, and there are many tools that will allow us to do that.

Erik: Yes, and the spiritual basis for all this is to encourage you to develop an awareness of yourself, including your emotions, That’s what it takes to stop controlling, and it’s a valuable opportunity to do that. Awareness of your emotional state is where it all starts. First, you gotta get that shit taken care of. Get in touch with how you feel emotionally. If you don’t do that and you act from a place of emotional instability, you can’t guide. You’re just giving broken pieces to a broken situation. All this just causes another broken situation, another blanket. That awareness is the thing that takes you to the riverbank. It lets you clearly see your options.

I told you guys this would be short. It’s just about where to break it up. Hopefully, it will help you gain insight into control issues, though.

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Elisa Medhus


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