Check it out, guys! This is the front of the t-shirts you’re going to be getting when you sign up for one or more of the tour cities. The back isn’t finished yet because we have to do some tweaking, but it’ll have a list of the cities and dates. I can’t thank Dave Banta and Daniel Lucas for their design expertise. Click on their names to find out more about them, and like their pages as a show of appreciation. I, for one, feel so grateful for their help. They’re loving and giving souls, and Erik adores them both.

Here’s the graphic for the tour in white so it’s compatible for web use. 

You guys It’s coming together. Erik and I, along with many others, are ready to change some lives for the better! 

In this second part, Erik answers my question about whether we were going to return to a matriarchal society or not.Enjoy!

Erik: It is going to change. It’s going to swing back to more matriarchal. What we’re finding now is a balance. This is what happened. Women were in control, and then they found their way and it got balanced. Then men were like, “Hey, it’s our turn.” They’ve had it longer than the women have had it so now it’s going to be overthrown again, and we’re going to find this equality. That’s what’s happening now. All this equality, equality, equality. Then, we’re going to notice that women are naturally better organizers. The way their human female bodies are made, they can multitask well.

Yes, we can balance our checkbooks, spank the kids and have sex at the same time. Don’t let that create a creepy image in your mind. Oh, too late.

Erik: They’re hardwired for specific tasks. Their energy isn’t, but their bodies are. We’re going to honor that and let them have a go at being in control again.

Me: All right! And we’re going to run with it, too! Do you see any benefits or drawbacks to having a matriarchal society?

Erik: Everybody will get maternity leave!

Jamie and I chuckle.

Erik: There are a lot of benefits, especially in government care and the understanding of communication rather than dictation. Women are hardwired for that.

Me: So communicating instead of dictating?

Erik: Yeah.

Me: Are you talking about diplomacy versus creating rules…

(Pause)

Erik touches his index finger to his chin as if patiently waiting for me to finish my sentence.

Me: –and regulations?

Erik: Yes. Yes. Women also change easier. They can change quickly. Think about it. They’re in history hardwired to be the care provider of the child, and a child’s needs change constantly. So when they see the education system needs to change, they’re going to look at it and go, “This happens now,” not “When can we do this?” They’re like, “It has to happen now.” There are a lot of benefits to that.

Me: So they’re more proactive.

Erik: Yes. I can’t really see a negative throw here except maybe that the masculinity part of our culture will want to be more honored, and they will see it as more as a community than as separatism. Some people won’t enjoy that.

Me: If we all sync up our periods, that would be bad. That could be pretty serious, all the female leaders PMSing at once.

Erik: One week out of the month!

Me: That’d be World War III right there. Or they could all go into menopause at once. I don’t know why I went there, so… Maybe another sip of coffee will help.

Erik: Your coffee cup looks like a bottle of bourbon.

Me: I like it. It’s pretty.

I hold my mug up to the camera.

Me: Anyway. Enough of that commercial. You know, some people come into life to be sexually abused or raped. Why? What lessons could be learned or taught. I mean, what could a woman be teaching or learning from having that experience? Why do some women choose that?

Erik: Okay. Let me stop you there. Men are raped, too!

Me: Okay, but this is only about women. You guys will have your turn another time. I’m talking about girlie girls right now.

Erik: Okay. Just giving a shout out right there.

Me: I know. That’s true. They’re abused. Yep.

Erik: What can be learned from rape, looking at it as your being the recipient of it, not the giver?

Jamie: He’s laying out pictures in my head, and I told him it’s much easier if he just talks.

Erik: The more obvious one that people have a hard time understanding is that it is a lesson of setting awareness and boundaries. Now, this is going to spark some conversation because I want to talk about women who are cognizant and in control over themselves. I’m not talking about a 4 year-old girl who is still under the care or provision of an adult. So I am talking about those who are in control over themselves. It has to do a lot with boundaries, but it also involves honesty because a lot of rape situations occur because the woman is presenting one way of communicating whether it’s heavy flirtation, whether it’s promising but not following through and then because of that poor communication, the man gets frustrated and takes what he’s been promised. So yes, we want women to be just who they want to be, but everyone should be respectful of everyone else. They need to understand that if they’re stepping into this flirtation and offering but still needing boundaries, they need to set the boundaries first. They can’t just throw out and expect the man to say, “Oh, it’s such a shame. You’re saying all of this, but you’re not going to do any of it.” No, if they’re hearing it, they’re in it and they want to receive it.

Me: So you can flirt, but you have to set boundaries, too.

Erik: Yes.

Me: But a lot of rapes aren’t like that. Sometimes a man just breaks into the house and rapes a woman.

Erik: But you know there are a lot more date rapes than breaking into homes and raping.

Me: Oh yeah. That’s true.

Erik: It’s not always all on the man. The woman is giving some element to it. I’m not saying everyone needs to dress or behave differently. It’s just, if you’re presenting it, own it, get control over it and make it powerful with boundaries in place. Don’t play the game and then not know how to stop the follow through.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: Honesty, clear communication and boundaries. Now, when we’re talking about when someone is breaking into the home (and other non-date related rapes,) where the woman really had no interaction or advance notice of [unintelligible]—

Suddenly, my picture changes on my computer screen, but I can only see out of the corner of my eye. On the recording, the screen has what looks like a translucent white film.

Jamie (Looking shocked): What the hell was that?

Me: I don’t know. Something weird happened.

Jamie: I swear to you, you turned into a man with gray hair.

Me: Oh my god, really? What was that all about, Erik? My picture did change. I saw it in the corner of my eye, but I really didn’t see it well. So what was that about, Erik?

Jamie: I’m asking if we’re getting interference? It’s raining outside.

Erik: No, I’m fucking with you. I’m fucking with you just for fun.

Jamie: I hope it recorded on your side.

If you guys see it on the YouTube video, let me know!

Me: Yeah. Okay, so somebody breaks in, no advanced notice, no flirting—

Erik: That gives you the experience of being taken advantage of or seen as a victim. It gives the opportunity to have perseverance, loving oneself, forgiveness, knowing where to place responsibility and knowing –here’s a catchy one—knowing how to love those that you don’t approve of.

Me: Wait. Are you talking about forgiving the rapist?

Erik: Yeah.

Me: Or forgiving yourself?

Erik: It’s both. Most woman think that if it’s happening to them, they’ve contributed to it like maybe they forgot to lock their window; maybe they weren’t aware at the store that the guy was following them and they could have done something. You guys overthink things quite a bit.

Jamie: I’m not going to argue on that one.

Erik: The other things is to understand sex—that women idealize it as something sacred in nature, something that shouldn’t be abused, looked at as kinky, like sex is seen as very private and intimate. Also it’s about being able to identify—I don’t expect you to understand it, but in some cases, this is the lesson that comes about: they learn that for some people, sex is a release, a tool, not an intimate love moment. It kind of breaks down the boundary of person-to-person or physical connection. Sometimes that’s learned in those situations, but most of all, it’s forgiveness, loving your enemy, and not being a victim. I wish that we had three or four different stories to look at so that we could look at what was going on in the woman’s life because any lesson that she learns will fit into the relationships in her life. Could it be that her father died young, and she didn’t know how to have relationships with men, then the rape happens and it’s supposed to break down everything that she understands about men so she can really build a relationship? Maybe she designed her life to be a nun, and this was the way for her to hit that road and never be married. There are just so many ways to use fuel, Mom.

Me: What can you tell those who have been raped? How can they heal?

Erik: I’m definitely not going to sit here and tell you, (he curls the fingers of his right hand over those of his left) “Time heals all.” With traumatic incidents, whether it’s a rape, a car accident, murder, being mugged, our mind pockets the memory, and they can be unveiled at any time. Our mind has all sorts of mysterious hidden spaces. So time heals? No. Time can create a distance, but it doesn’t necessarily heal.

Me: That’s true.

Erik: The healing part comes from embracing it, studying it, not burying it and not disconnecting from it because everything that occurs with you, to you in your life belongs to you and is a part of your foundation. In our culture, suicide is not a term we talk about. Rape isn’t talked about. Some people say it’s disgusting, and they don’t know how to relate to it. They don’t know how to have a conversation about it. I hope it comes to light more so that people who have had this experience or thoughts can discuss it and see why they’re there and what energy it really needs. It might not need what you think it does. Healing might come from just conversing about it and giving it a healthy place to be rather than not talking about it, being embarrassed about it, playing the victim from it. Those things aren’t needed.

Me: So we need to study and see what we can learn from it whether it’s about emotional honesty or boundaries or forgiveness or whatever? We need to reflect on the value? I mean, there’s got to be value in everything including “negative” experiences.

Meaning everything can be a tool to serve the growth of our soul.

Erik: There’s total value in everything, even all the things that you call negative. There is purpose in every single thing. I wish, in our culture, we could just unzip that shit that makes us say, “Oh, it’s negative, so I don’t want to associate with it. I’m just going to put it in this bag and put it away. There’s so much value in what’s in that bag! Let it exist. Let everything be and unfold as it needs to.

Me: Okay. You know this is kind of a long video. I really wanted to go into why women in some cultures, like the Muslim culture, allow oppression and injustice like Sharia law. Can you give me the short version? I don’t know if people can pay attention for this long! With Erik, they can!

Erik: Quick, pause the video. Go pee. Go get something to eat and come back.

Me (laughing): Yeah, there we go. Go pee, everybody! Come back later.

Erik: Suppression. Most of that is about following rules, about not having an opinion, about not having a right. It’s about being able to persevere being in a box. It’s almost like being a monk and taking a vow of silence your whole life. You don’t get the chance to flower and be a voice, but there’s value in that. People don’t want to see that though. They want to fight for freedom for everybody, but—

Me: What’s the value?

Erik: Learning more about oneself, ones deeper core soul value. Have you gotten into moments where you feel like you just weren’t yourself, your natural character, you were a little in a zone, a little quieter or some people say a little more Zen? Then you’re able to see people in different colors, in different lights, in different situations. Imagine having a whole life like that. Imagine the connection you find with dirt, with rocks, with Mother Earth, with fabrics you touch—all the other senses are heightened [when you’re in that box.] There’s a deeper sense of community with the people you are allowed to communicate with. There’s a certain richness to it that you can’t find if you’re just the free person out there doing whatever the hell you want.

Me: Wow. That’s pretty heavy!

Erik: Well, I’m not praising it, and I’m not saying it’s wrong.

Me: So there’s oppression, but a lot of the sexual abuse seems to be so rampant in the world today, especially in Africa and the Middle East. What direction should we, as a collective, we as humanity, take? What can we do?

(Pause)

Me: If anything, and that’s my last question!

Erik: It’s not more rampant. It’s been rampant from day one. It’s just because we have more media exposure and tweets about it. People harp on the negative shit to get others to pay attention. It’s just how we’re hardwired. It’s been the same from then to now. It’s not getting worse; it’s not getting better. It’s built in that this is how some cultures react or show power or show control. This is why matriarchy is going to rise and patriarchy is going to sink. We’re going to be able to teach the importance of person-to-person value and equality. It’s not just about women’s rights. It’s about everybody’s rights. That’s how women work. That’s why they’re different.

Me: Every living creature. Well, what, as humanity, should we do?

(Pause)

Jamie (laughing): He just got really close to me and goes (whispering with his hand cupped on the side of his mouth,) “Only vote for women.”

Me: A ha!

Erik: That’s a start.

Me: Anything else on the subject?

Erik: No. This is entertaining.

Me: It’s been fun! All right.

We close with the usual love you’s.

Be sure to answer the poll that’s on the last two posts, guys!