The Key to Happiness

Someone so generously transcribed the happiness YouTube, so I thought I’d share it with you. She wants to remain anonymous, but give her a shout out if you can!

Erik on The Key to Happiness

Elisa: Hey Jennifer, what’s up?

Jennifer: Hey, how are you?

Elisa: Good, and welcome back, and welcome back my little boy, Erik Medhus.

Jennifer: Thank you, same to you.

Elisa: How’s he doing? Been pestering you much?

Jennifer: [Laughs] A little bit, yes. Not pestering. But, he’s been around. I think he was just messing with me here a minute ago, so…

Elisa: Yeah, he was messing with your zoom, man, totally. Ah, he’s kinda like the pester-y little brother, huh?

Jennifer: Yeah. I don’t mind it though.

Elisa: Yeah. Do you have any brothers?

Jennifer: I do, yes, a younger brother.

Elisa: ‘K. Did he ever pester you when he was little?

Jennifer: No, we are 17 years apart in age.

Elisa: Oh, they can still pester, but yeah, that’s a lot. Alright, today peeps, we are going to talk about what is the key to happiness. Erik? I love you by the way as you know. What makes some people happy and some not? What’s the secret?

Jennifer: How it’s being given to me is that the secret is different for everybody. What your key to happiness is, is not what my key to happiness might be.

Elisa: Ah.

Jennifer: Yes. And so what it is, is what makes one person happy, you know, wife and kids and the family, that might not be the key, that might be absolutely miserable for somebody else. So the key to having this, how he’s putting it is that you have to follow what’s inside of you, but so often we get caught up in expectations of what others have of us so we don’t follow what would truly make us happy. And it’s not just that, it’s that sometimes, because of the energy here, because it’s so heavy when we’re in the human body. Sometimes we really don’t know what that is. Our minds get bogged down

with other stuff that we can’t figure out what it is, and then when we do, the fear is ‘What will people think of me if I do this’.

Elisa: Yeah.

Jennifer: Yeah. So really the key, and it’s just such a hard thing, is to let go of the fear of what others will think of you.

Elisa: Ah, yeah. And just let go of fear. Being able to surrender. And personally I think it’s also important to- well, my husband’s favorite line is “You’re unhappy? Lower your expectations!” But I think there’s some truth in that just don’t have so many expectations on what your life should be like, how people should behave, how much money you’re going to make this year, all that kind of stuff.

Jennifer: Yeah, and what Erik is saying, it’s funny, he’s saying “Well, my Dad is actually right. “

Elisa: [Laughing] Believe it or not!

Jennifer: [Laughing] Yes, and I want to give him credit for it, but, he’s right.

Elisa: Typical!

Jennifer: Expectations, like what you said, what your life will be like, what other people should do, what should happen, the recognition that we should get. We have all these expectations of what should, should, should, and really, expectations just set you up for disappointment.

Elisa: I know. And it makes you worry! These are all things of not being in the now. When you’re constantly in the future with your expectations, with your worries. And, when you’re dwelling in the past, that’s another way to keep you from being in the now, which, I think, maybe is the key to happiness. For example, if you look at past hardships, challenges etc, then you become a victim, like. ‘Oh, woe is me, had a horrible childhood, blah blah blah’, then that can make you miserable. But if you say, ‘Let me look at that experience, there is something valuable in it, I know. Let me search and search’. And it may take a lot of reflection, and it may take a lot of emotional honesty with yourself, but there’s value in every “bad” experience, and once you realize it, that value, you can appreciate it and be grateful for it, and embrace it, and, poof, let go of suffering. So that’s another way to keep you in the now. I feel like I’m channeling you Erik, is that what I’m doing? Cause it’s way too smart to come from me!

Jennifer: No no, don’t be modest, he said, don’t be modest. Yeah, it really is, isn’t it? It’s really hard for us to live in the moment because it is the fear of what’s coming and the need for humans to plan, and to know, and to control what’s coming. And that’s all really a façade, we really don’t have that kind of control, we just think that we do. And it’s also so easy to live in the past and make excuses for ‘Well, this is why I’m not happy.’ Or

‘This is why, because of what my parents did, this is why I can’t do that.’ And it’s that thinking that holds you in a place, and keeps you from moving forward spiritually, emotionally, physically sometimes. You’re stuck. And, uh… sorry, he was giving me more. With that, it’s so easy to be a victim here, it’s so easy to feel like a victim of what everybody else is doing, and it’s hard to just kind of pick yourself up and dust yourself off and take responsibility for your own life, regardless of whether you were a victim of circumstances in the past. You still have the control over how you feel now and how you feel moving forward.

Elisa: Oh, hey, Jennifer, when you moved forward it gets really loud. Because that’s what happens when you don’t have the headphones, but maybe stay in the same spot. Erik, keep her tame, tamer, boy!

Jennifer: I can’t help it, it’s hard.

Elisa: I know, I know it’s hard. That’s why I wear headphones, because I move around a lot. But, ah, that’s really interesting. So what is the key to Jennifer’s happiness? Erik?

Jennifer: Yes, he’s, ah, to get past my fear, to work past my fear. He, over the last two days keeps calling me a chicken shit.

Elisa: Ah! Bad boy! I didn’t raise you to have those kinds of manners with the ladies!

Jennifer: It’s ok, because I’m just so fearful of putting myself out there and he says ‘This is what you need to be doing, and you know it’s what you need to be doing and you just have to get out there and do it and you’ll be fine.’ He says ‘You worry so much.’ Okay, I have to get a handle on how much I worry, that’s the key to my happiness.

Elisa: Well, that’s good! Really, what’s the worst that can happen?

Jennifer: Well, I know.

Elisa: We are eternal beings by the way, so what is the worst that can happen to all of us?

Jennifer: And we know that. He or she knows that, but here not. [Hand over heart.]

Elisa: Is there anything that can help her? I mean it’s easy to say well just don’t worry, just don’t think of a pink elephant in the room. Is there any kind of aromatherapy, crystals, anything that might help her?

Jennifer: For me, what he’s saying is just do it.

Elisa: Just do it.

Jennifer: Yes.

Elisa: Okay.

Jennifer: No, just do it because you can.

Elisa: Alright.

Jennifer: And he says I‘ll help you.

Elisa: Aw, that’s good. Worrying, you’re kind of in the future, instead of in the now. What is my key to happiness?

Jennifer: Focus. The key to your happiness, what he’s saying, is to focus on the task at hand because otherwise there is a sense of getting overwhelmed.

Elisa: Okay.

Jennifer: So one thing at a time will help you with that.

Elisa: Anything else?

Jennifer: Taking time to reflect, quietly, in private for you. Like meditation, which is good way to help you. Which he says, did you just get into that more? I do feel like you’re doing some more self-reflection or writing.

Elisa: No, more self-reflection cause there’s a lot of chaos and drama in the household because we have so many people living here, it’s like, gnah. Anyway, and with people comes drama. So would you distill it down to, the key to happiness as being in the now? Because then you’re not going to be worried and the next minute you’re not going to dwell in the past and be a victim.

Jennifer: Yeah, it really is about being in the moment, in the moment that you’re in. And most of us never living in the moment that we’re in. Really, it’s a mass issue. We’re all living in the future or in the past, we’re not living right in the moment. And, you know, with the technology and the phones and this kind of stuff, this is creating a bigger issue as far as not living in the now. We’re living in this alternative reality and that’s [?] happiness for people. It’s interesting but you’re looking and you’re seeing what other people are doing and you’re thinking they’re having these wonderful lives and these happy lives, and it’s taking away from our happiness. And it’s not real. He’s saying, that’s not real. You know, it’s a façade, it’s phoney, and that’s part of what’s taking people’s happiness away, is they’re comparing themselves to others and they don’t have all the facts.

Elisa: No, they don’t! As a doctor, I’ve had a lot of patients who had so much money and seemed to be so happy until you really start questioning them, because to me, the emotional hell, the family dynamics, all that, was very important as an internist, for me to

know, so I could better take care of their physical health. So I found out a lot of skeletons in a lot of closets, bless their hearts.

Jennifer: Well yes, and it really is about the mind body soul, the mind body spirit connection. Without having the three connected we can’t really find true happiness because something’s always a little bit off if you don’t have the connection. And, he says, as a doctor, you know that some people are so disconnected from their body they don’t even realize the pain and problems in certain areas that other people would be doubled over in pain cause their mind body spirit connection is so far apart.

Elisa: Yeah. That’s true. I’m trying to find – I’ll be looking while you guys talk- but I’m going to look for one particular book. But in the meantime, how is the best way to get into the now? Just initiate it and then how do you stay there?

Jennifer: You have to be conscious of where your thoughts are. A lot of times our thoughts are just running through our brains, not even thinking about it, but you have to pay attention to when, all of a sudden you feel a little anxious, or you feel like a headache is coming on, and focus on what were you just thinking about even if you were consciously or unconsciously thinking it. And that’s when, we almost have to retrain our minds to stay in the moment. And when we feel ourselves drifting off, we have to bring it back. It takes a conscious effort to do.

Elisa: Well, do we do that all the time? Or can we just practise for short sessions?

Jennifer: No we can’t do it all the time because-

Elisa: It’s exhausting!

Jennifer: Yes, it is, and we’re also, quite frankly, we’re not to be here to be happy all the time. We can be happy by nature, we can, back to our equilibrium is a happy state instead of our equilibrium being a frantic, upset, negative state, we can create our equilibrium as back to a happy state, but we cannot remain there all the time. It’s part of the human experience, we have to experience the other emotions.

Elisa: So it’s part of the spiritual contract then. I mean, you’ve got to have contrast, you’ve got to have, you know, to understand forgiveness you have to maybe experience betrayal, and that is a very unhappy experience.

Jennifer: Yeah, and actually what he’s saying is there’s also – the contrast makes the happier times better. So if we were in a happy state all the time we would not appreciate it. So we need to have the unhappy times to appreciate the happy times more.

Elisa: That’s true. What I do in my life is like, okay, all the dramas, all the hardships are over. Now I’m ready for my golden years, then something else happens, it’s like alright, okay. Pick myself up, dust myself off and then something else happens. I think that’s just the nature of life.

Jennifer: It is, and what Erik is telling me to tell you, specifically, another thing for you, another thing for keeping your happiness is to watch how much you’re taking in of other people’s issues, and you take them in as your own.

Elisa: Oh yeah.

Jennifer: It’s slowing you down as far as the happiness goes.

Elisa: That’s true. That’s another letting go thing. And I take on the problems of some blog members too, so yeah it gets to be – I have to work on that. But maybe also if people started doing things that got them into the now, like cooking, or washing dishes sometimes, or gardening, play some music, listen to music. Are those some suggestions and can you add to that list?

Jennifer: Yeah, they are. And meditation. A lot of people think I have to sit very very quietly, and I have to have no thoughts in my mind. But the things that you’re describing put people into a meditative state. I personally can’t sit quietly and meditate. I need to be on autopilot doing an activity, and that will put me into a meditative state. And a lot of people need something like what you were saying, doing the dishes or doing the cleaning or doing the gardening and that puts them into a meditative state. And in that area is when you get answers to questions in your life, it’s when you connect, it’s when you can hear your spirit guide better. And this is something a lot of people need to spend time doing. And it doesn’t just have to be sit quietly and do nothing for twenty minutes.

Elisa: No. I can’t do that. I have to do active meditation.

Jennifer: Yes, absolutely. And a lot of people don’t realize that active meditation is a thing. So that’s going to be very helpful. And he said, when you’re in that state, this is for everybody, when you’re in that active meditation, ask questions!

Elisa: Oh!

Jennifer: And listen for the answers to come. And they might come like it’s your own thought in your head, or get a gut instinct in your stomach, but this is the time to ask the questions to the universe, to your guide to your loved ones, and this is when the answers will come.

Elisa: Yeah that’s true, I mean, sometimes you can hear it as your own voice but it doesn’t really seem to come from you, you know. You get this certain feeling. Well, let’s get anything else on the key to happiness?

Jennifer: Well, it’s an on-going process. It spans a lifetime.

Elisa: Do you think people are less happy than they were in the past?

Jennifer: You know, it’s kind of a twofold thing. Yes, because it’s more intense than it used to be, there’s more now, because, I’m back to the media thing, because everything travels at the speed of light so you hear about all these things are happening all over the world that might be upsetting to you. But on the other side, more people are aware, and more people are out there, talking about this kind of stuff, so there’s maybe more help, more information now than there used to be. Does that make sense?

Elisa: That sounds good. So the book I wanted to recommend is one that Erik recommended and it “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a really good book, and it comes in audio book, etc. A couple of other things, maybe just one. Some of these video games, like Flight Simulator, it seems like that would put you into the now. I mean, you’re too busy trying to not crash. So not all of them will yank you out of the now, right?

Jennifer: Correct.

Elisa: It’s almost like active meditation then, for some of them.

Jennifer: Yes it is. Absolutely because you’re focusing on a single task. So often, we’re focusing on five or ten things at the same time. So, to take a mind that is usually focused on five or ten things at the same time, and make it focus on just one, yes, it’s like an active meditation.

Elisa: Okay. One more thing. Does Erik ever curse with you? It seems he’s behaving better, or you just can’t say it?

Jennifer: No, it’s funny. He and I have actually discussed this. I personally, and he knows, I don’t like to swear.

Elisa: But it’s him swearing, you can go ahead and do it.

Jennifer: I know, and it’s like he said, and he just said it again, ‘You’re a chicken shit!’

Elisa: Uh oh! Just let the f-bombs fly, nobody cares. We know it’s not coming from you!

Jennifer: I know. He has been teasing me. We have been kind of going back and forth the last few days and he’s just teasing me. And it’s just a fun fun.

Elisa: Oh yeah. He’s never mean to you, I’m sure.

Jennifer: No. No never never never. He does like to drop the f-bomb.

Elisa: But you can say the f-ing this, the f-ing that, but you’re uncomfortable. Alright, so would you like to say how people can get in touch with you?

Jennifer: Yes, right now you can find me on Facebook. Psychic medium Jennifer Doran, you can message me there, I’m pretty good at getting back in touch with you. And then you can also find my Facebook page, Channeling Erik blog under the Favorites tab.

Elisa: Absolutely. You see the Favorites, and then there’s the links list, and there she is. Alright, sounds great. We will be back with another session that I will post later. Bye Erik, thanks for your wisdom, thank you so much Jennifer, and I will talk at you later.

Jennifer: Bye. He said, love you.

Elisa: Bye.

Check out this latest YouTube by Sheila Quinn and medium, Michelle McMullin Gray, both part of the Erik’s Spiritual Team channel:

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Elisa Medhus