Collect Call from Heaven

I forgot to tell you guys that right before I (crawled) out of bed on Mother’s Day morning, I someone tussled my hair roughly. I’m sure it was Erik wishing me a good one. No breakfast in bed, but I’ll take it. Actually–and I hope my kids don’t read this–the whole “breakfast in bed” thing is highly over-rated. My kids always served me the same thing: A cold hotdog, no bun, some cold scrambled eggs and a slice of burnt toast. The worst was the lukewarm coffee. Yuck. But it was all made in love.

Here, Jillian picks up where she left off. 

Me: What are the best ways to help our children and other loved ones to visit or contact us?

Jillian: One of them is through dreams. That’s probably the easiest. A lot of humans talk about having these dream visitations. The mechanism of the ego, what you might label as ego, which protects us physically and emotionally but sometimes even hurts us and makes us hold in things, when you sleep, that layer is relaxed. It’s like a muscle that’s relaxed. Everything relaxes when you’re asleep. So in a sense, your guard is down to a certain degree. That makes it easier for us to get through to you.

Me: Okay.

Jillian: So dreams are one of the most common ways. When a person is—and especially right after they pass away, and this happened with you and Erik—they can sometimes make their presence known through physical manifestation.

How well I remember that beautiful moment when I saw him jumping back and forth at the foot of my bed.

Jillian: Also like turning lights on, things like that, because we’re trying to make you aware of our presence to give you comfort. Now, over time, these don’t always continue because if they keep doing it, it can make you hold on to something that doesn’t exist, physically, anymore. Sometimes we have to back away.

Me: Well I promise I won’t! Do it anyway! It’s like writing a letter or popping in to say “hello” or something once in a while.

I start crying again.

Jillian: I can relate to that because I’ve had thousands of children over my lifetimes. That is so common when it comes to a bond in general. Children never call their mothers or their fathers enough.

Me (sternly): Yeah, Erik.

Erik: Mom, I’m always there, and you know it! I don’t have to always give you a physical sensation or a physical manifestation. You can sense me there.

Me: Yeah, but still…

Erik: Can’t that be good enough?

Me: No!

Erik: Well, let me put it this way. I’m teaching you that it is good enough.

Cheeky boy.

Me: I know it should be good enough, but other visits would be like icing on the cake. It’s like you’re off to college, and I know you’re doing fine but still want a phone call. And you can always come home to do your laundry.

Robert laughs.

Erik: Here’s the great thing about the way we work—and you know this to be true—it’s when you drop the expectation of that happening, and you shift your focus on losing me, you go about your life. Then all of a sudden you get a sign.

Me: But I do that. There are days and days that I don’t expect anything, and I still get nothing. Even with my guard down.

The tears start again.

Erik: You’ll get more of them, Mom. I promise you.

Me: Okay.

Erik: And the other thing is that a lot of people want the whole, “Dance, Monkey Boy. Dance!” You can’t order a spirit to perform in a way that you want them to perform rather than the way that we want to do it.

Me: Well, sure. That’d be an expectation. But, like I said, there are long periods of time when I don’t have any expectations. I do constantly have your death in the forefront of my mind since I post on the blog daily, though. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Erik: I really wish I could heal that for you, Mom. I so fucking wish I could do that. You know how much I love you.

Me (crying): I know. So then what is your advice to those who’ve lost someone, child or otherwise?

Erik: Drop the expectation.

Me: Yeah, that’s a dense energy, I guess.

Erik: It’s so fucking dense, and it’s rooted in control.

Me: Control is a dense energy, too, I guess.

Erik: Yeah, and the other thing is that when you have expectation, in the case of wanting to hear from your loved ones is rooted in not accepting what’s happened. They’re not physically here anymore. It’s not possible for us to come back to you in the physical world. You can’t control it. You can’t let expectations get in the way. The other thing is this. The last thing we want is for our family members to be stuck in that misery and pain and agony because they have many reasons for doing that. They might feel like they’re dishonoring the memory of their loved ones or that they’ll forget us. That’s not what we want for you. We want you to go on and live a happy life and know that we’re completely at peace. We’re happy, and we’re always with you. That’s never going to change, but it takes time, especially in your case, Mom. Not only was there this constant struggle when I was there but the way I passed away left a big fucking wound in your heart.

Me (crying again): I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. I’ll always be broken.


Erik: It’s a miracle how much you’ve healed over the last few years, but there’s still a lot of work to go.

Me (choking back tears): Oh yeah. And again, doing the blog every day is healing in one way, but it tears me apart in another way since it’s a constant reminder that you’re gone, physically, and I can’t hug you anymore. It just reminds me, “Erik’s dead, Erik’s dead, Erik’s dead” all the time.

Erik: I know. Mom, can you do me a favor?

Me: What?

Erik: We talked earlier about how it’s all about perspective, and I know right now that your focus is on I’m dead; I’m dead. You have to focus on the fact that I just don’t have that physical body to animate anymore.

Me: But I still want that person to hug.

Erik: I know, but now I can give you a hug from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. I couldn’t do that with a human body.

Me: That’s true.

Erik: I’m the energy that is you. I’m the energy that I was when I was in your, before I was born. Instead of saying, “He’s dead,” say, “He’s more alive.” That perspective will help you. I’m more alive than I ever was in “life.”

Me: Yeah, I guess that’s a good perspective to have. So the control thing reminds me of when, sometimes, a child crawls into your lap and stays there until you put your arms around her. Then they squirm to get down.

Erik: Right.

Just a reminder for those peeps living in and around Houston: We’re getting together for lunch at 2:00 PM on Saturday, May 3oth. Where will depend on how many plan to come. Be sure you contact me if you are!

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Elisa Medhus

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  • Kari Silver Lining Mena

    I made myself get out of my funk, got dressed and came out to The Corner Bakery to pretend to start the book They claim I am to write. I insert my own feelings into your words Elisa. I never get a sign, I never get a prank, and I get one hug a year. I can’t imagine losing my baby as you did, sooo hurty. I don’t know why I love yours like I do, but here I sit, crying and snotting all over the bakery, without one word typed. I don’t mean to whine, I feel so lucky to be a part of Erik’s World. I have been gifted several treasures, the book, the eboard, the friendships, the messages in readings, and my favorite, his clothes, a tangible piece of him. ♡♡♡
    My Mystery is close to being solved, and when it is, I’m coming over for wine and a soak to tell you all about it.

  • T Diaz

    I love where Erik talks about making spirits “perform” — he cracked me up with “Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance.” This can be a challenge with paranormal investigation, wanting proof or evidence and at the same time being respectful of requests for an entity to show their presence, inviting vs. demanding. This is also an issue with so many skeptics who have expectations of para phenomena being repeatable according to their exact and controlled specifications vs. looking at the entirety of repeated instances in which para stuff has been measured, for example, with the thousands of EVP recordings in existence. On a completely different side note, I watched your Mother’s Day “Weekend Fun” vlog, Elisa, and loved that glimpse into your daily family life. Bella is THE cutest little thing. I love yorkies and don’t have any pets right now, so I consider her my surrogate yorkie 🙂

  • Denise

    Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance. Is that from Buckaroo Bonzai? That needs to be my new catchphrase.

  • Christian

    I’ve been reading a lot of NDE accounts and it seems as though most people are given a choice to stay in heaven or return back to Earth, even people who take their own lives. My question is, do people who commit suicide get the option to return to earth or stay in Heaven?

    • There’s no outside force telling us what to do. We have complete free will.

  • Barbara Wikle

    Erick has helped you by telling you to know he is more alive than he ever was in the physical body and how he can hug you from head to toes now! Amen…

  • CathyH

    Thank you Elisa for sharing that beautiful conversation with Erik. I understood his message….we have to let go.
    After my younger sister passed 8 years ago at the age of 43 from Ovarian Cancer I literally walked around with my head up my ass…not feeling like I should be having fun because she passed. Survivors guilt I guess….being the older sister I was supposed to take care and protect my younger siblings (something I put on myself). Should we have tried more treatments…did we give up too soon. But the truth is her body after 3 1/2 years was tired and it was her time to go. She taught me courage, patience and living life to its fullest. Each day is a gift….I now know that!

  • Michelle Buchheit-Schill

    So this explains my son’s lack of activity lately? The first ten months he is moving things, throwing things, hiding things, etc. All right before my very eyes. Now, the last two month nothing and it sent me into worse grieving. I do occasionally receive telepathic messages from John and sometime my other two children. Which reminds me, Elisa, I recently had a reading with Heather. My three children and your son were present. We somehow started talking about cussing and Erik was teasing John that he does not cuss. Tell Erik if I get a telepathic message from any of my children and they cuss I will need to have a serious discussion with your son! (lol)

  • Nehaa

    Hi Elisa…i was watching a video of Erik when Arleen was born and Erik looked so solemn and lost in his own world then. He wasnt as happy and cheerful and animated and himself as he is now. Think of it as losing the fake Erik but getting the real one in return. All i wanted to say was try and ask your heart to heal from that incident which is where your hurt is burried. And imagine hugging him and kissing him anyways…he ll feel it and very soon ull feel it as real too.

    Lots of luv and light to you

  • Marie Klaszky

    Hugs my friend. I wish I could hug you so hard all your broken pieces mend back together. When I have a friend whose beloved dog crosses the bridge, I always say that while I am deeply, sorry for your loss, I am so eternally joyful for the time you got to have each other here in this life as there are so many souls that never experience the joy of true, unconditional love – or in your case, the unconditional love of a child – I am aware of difficult it can be to have an “unconditional” love for a teenager/young adult that has difficulties – you at very least had the young, happy Erik who adored you and still does. I know so many that have never known a day of that.. So I take joy in the beautiful love that you shared and send you love and peace to remember that perspective and carry on.

  • So true!

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