Hey Erik. Erik refers me to the blog to catch up on the past few entries. This morning, and over the past few weeks I’ve been having “background” conversations with Erik about suicide, and I was really on the fence with writing about it publically. Erik points at the blog and is like, “Look, it’s already being discussed. Chime in!”
Okay, so my own mind has been swinging on observing different cultures’ attitudes towards suicide currently and throughout history, and the outcome of those beliefs, positive and negative.
In North America, we live in a pretty suicide-taboo culture, and I’m not saying that’s good or bad. I know there can be great harm to the surviving friends and relatives if they believe that their dead loved one continues to suffer on the other side. It’s the negative fallout of believing that these souls “go to hell”.
The other extreme is a culture that readily accepts and even bestows honour on suicide. Grieving widow commits suicide? Good for her, she must have really loved her husband to follow him to the afterlife.
See what I mean?
So this morning I was thinking about the “Miracle of Life” conversation with Erik and I asked him what he thinks about all this, and I tossed in the controversial issue of assisted suicide for people with “terminal” illness.
Erik says, Okay can I talk now? (teasing, because my mind tends to get very busy when I think about this topic, and he’s shoving aside my brain chatter like he’s elbowing his way through the crowd, exaggerating the effort he’s making to talk to me through my busy mind.) It’s like a club in here!
Okay so the short answer is that it varies for every person, and as soon as you have a law (cultural or state law) that pushes things one way or another, there’ll be (potentially negative) consequences. I stick with what I said (in Miracle of Life) that life is so much fucking hard work to even GET a body, to get born, to grow up – it’s a damn big risk you’re taking if you decide to end your life. You may just end up wanting to go right back in. (Pulls a quote from my mind where Sylvia Browne declares that ALL people who commit suicide are directly looped back into life.)
So, are you saying that’s true?
Yeah, a lot of people DO just end up going back in, because they wanted in for a REASON. Say the God thing.
Ha. Okay, I tend to edit out the religious stuff – but the whole statement from Sylvia Browne is that people who commit suicide are looped back into life because they’re not allowed to break a contract with God.
So yeah, call it God if you want. And remember that every person is a part of (shows me the donut universe) and that you had a reason for coming into life in the first place. The thing about life is, yeah, you can sometimes bite off more than you can chew, and that’s what reincarnation and re-reincarnation is for.
Re-reincarnation? Oh yeah. That’s an earlier conversation about living out all the variations in ONE particular lifetime, so your life path isn’t just a straight line, it’s more like a tree branching outwards. Re-reincarnation is my own word for it. Erik’s pointing me to previous entries in the CE blog with Jamie, where they’d also spoken about “going back in time” and he says, This is basically the same thing. You can use your girly term if you want. I’d say something like (puffs up in his He-Man costume MASTER REINCARNATION!!!!)
This is a throwback to “masters of the Universe” conversation too. DAMN Erik, I’m going to have to find a lot of past entries this time!
Yeah, girl! I’m puttin’ you to work!
(Erik shows me the pain and turmoil that this concept can bring up for people who’ve lost a loved one, thinking “there’s this branch where s/he is still alive! Why can’t I become aware of that!?)
So, say you’re on a branch where (Erik’s still alive.)
Well, some trees get to be huge twisted old oaks, me, I’m just a bush. (winks)
You can imagine the visual he gives me with “bush”.
I’m going to over-explain Erik here while he rolls his eyes at me: The tree / bush thing (okay, that’s a nice visual for tree! Thanks, man, I haven’t seen your imaginary penis in a while. Yeah well I wouldn’t want you to forget what one looked like!)
Another interpretation of that would be using the “life plan” idea – you have a life plan that has the potential to live to be 100 years old, and plenty of branches where the lifespan is 80s and 90s. The “bush” thing is the lifespan potential is much shorter, and Erik’s saying he’s a bush.
Next Erik shows me a guy shouting, “Am I a tree or a bush? A tree or a bush???”
He says, If you have to ask, you’re a tree.
Okay, so here’s where it’s going to get real. I’m gonna give you a list of things that make people feel depressed and hopeless, and a lot of it is bullshit. It’s not even real. So here goes:
News. Yeah, I’m not fucking kidding. When you’re only hearing about the bad shit in the world, why the fuck would you want to stay living in it??? Keep in mind that a lot of the news is bullshit, and they gotta do a lot of digging and harping over and over again on the negative things just to fill a news show. It’s a lot like advertising – it’s so repetitive, it sticks in your (shows me the brain and the series of neurons that have been stimulated so many times with the repetition that the negative thinking becomes reflex and habit.)
They’re trainin’ you like Pavlov’s dog, yo. Bitch, it’s time to get real.
Did you just go gangsta on me? Did you try?
Okay, so there was this short and hilarious exchange of “I am so gangsta! Do I need to get Biggie?” and then I see Biggie, mostly his face in a super-close up where despite himself his serious countenance cracks into a grin and he shakes his head like, “I can’t take you seriously, Erik, I tried to help you out!”
Erik plays the song, “Where is the love?” See, that’s exactly it, right there. If you don’t see the love, you gotta start looking for it. A lot of how you see the world, how you experience your life is habit. Start thinking about the things that influence your habits, especially your thought habits.
Okay, second risk factor, are you ready? Being Young. There is nothing as judgmental as a damn teenager! That’s why parents of teenagers deserve medals! Thing is, young people in their teens and twenties can be really harsh with the world and with themselves. It’s too easy to be unforgiving of the people in your life (shows me angry / revenge suicide liked to immaturity) and it’s really tough at that age to be forgiving of yourself when your whole life’s about meeting other people’s expectations.
Third risk factor: Being middle-aged. You know, that whole mid-life crisis thing. It’s like being a teenager all over again, and this time you might be tempted to judge your life as a failure if it didn’t turn out a certain way. A lot of triggers like divorce, losing a job – that can get you thinking like this. NO ONE CAN FAIL AT LIFE!!!
Fourth risk factor: Bring old. This is like, the hidden statistic. A lot of people don’t look too closely or think about it too hard when an old person dies. This is why (those against assisted suicide) have a really good point, because old folks, (Elders) don’t get no damn respect anymore! They’re not valued in the community for being the against-all-odds SURVIVORS they actually are! And that can really make you feel bad.
Now, I’m of course skipping over all the other stuff (that’s been discussed in conversations with Jamie and Robert) the mental and physical imbalances / illnesses that contribute to this conversation, and I’m skipping the addictions stuff, which makes it even harder. I’m just talking about those things that affect EVERY SINGLE PERSON ALIVE. Remember the first thing I said – the short answer: it varies for every person.
I take a second to think about this whole piece and I just look at my hesitancy in pursuing this topic. Erik says, It’s because you’ve got this (shows me one hand on the ground, one hand lost in the clouds and this sense of being stretched between them both.) You’re not afraid of the dark side, and talking about it doesn’t have to create more bad stuff – the point of talking about this here is to release / dissipate the bad stuff! Refusing to talk about it or look at it is actually giving it power, (shows me being annoyed when I listen to hyper-positive radio shows.)
That’s why being happy-happy-joy-joy all the time is really just this expression of fear! It’s about finding the balance between being at the mercy of every negative news story and actually being (translates as “an angel for good”).
It’s about talking / observing / studying without being an asshole, without being invasive or bossy, but also really allowing yourself to experience (shows me a black ocean swelling up and down, meaning the waves of negative events) without drowning.
Erik puts on his Tarzan costume and beats his chest with a jungle yodel, signaling the end of the conversation.
Here are links to the entries referenced:
Kate is a spirit medium and animal communicator located in Tofino, BC. To learn more about her and her work, please visit her professional website: tofinopsychic.com and her personal blog: psychicintraining.com
Here are a few reminders for you guys:
I have a speaking event at the Edgar Cayce center in Houston on Saturday, 2/22 at 11:00 AM CST
I also have a book signing event at the Barnes and Noble bookstore in the Woodlands on Sunday, 2/23 from 2-4 PM CST. There won’t be any speech. I’ll just be sitting at a desk answering questions, signing books, etc.
I’d also invite you to buy the book if you haven’t already done so. Here’s the Amazon link, but you can get it pretty much anywhere.
If you do buy the book, please consider passing it on to friends and family members who you think my benefit from what Erik has to say. Thanks in advance, guys!