Just a heads up. As I mentioned earlier, I won’t be able to answer any of the comments until after things calm down with the whole book thing. I know some of you have addressed me personally so please, please, please don’t get your feelings hurt if I don’t respond. I’m just going to automatically approve them all without reading them. If you other blog members can assist by giving responses to the comments, I’d appreciate it.

Also, don’t forget the channeling event tonight where Erik will use Jamie’s body to answer your questions. He’s not only insightful, he’s hilarious! Here’s the info again.

Web Channeling with Erik and Jamie
Wednesday, September 17 from 6-7 PM EDT
The link to register is HERE.

Here’s the description:

We hope you will join Jamie as she channels Erik Medhus from the Channeling Erik blog on Wednesday, September 17 from 6:00-7:00 PM EDT. For those who are new to channeling Jamie will allow Erik to speak through her directly to you. Erik will come in and deliver his own personal message and then answer participants questions for the remainder of the time. Participants will be allowed to ask their questions via the text chat function once Erik is done with his message and he opens it up for submissions. Questions will be accepted and answered on a first come, first service basis. Please note that we may not be able to get through all questions submitted, but Erik will answer as many as he can in the time allotted. There are no guarantees that you will have a question answered by Erik.

Here’s today’s post. I deals with Erik’s favorite subject, a close second to pot!

Me: A lot of people, both male and female, suffer from a loss of libido. It’s just so common. Can you tell me about that?

Erik: A lot of times it can be that the person has too much fucked up shit going on in their lives. Maybe they’ve had that shit from childhood on.

Me: Right.

Erik: Many times, as people get older, they think they don’t look as good as they used to and as society says they should look, so they just don’t feel sexy anymore. Naturally, it can be from a health issue like depression. When I say depression, in this situation I’m talking about the one where something’s fucked up in the wiring and chemistry of the brain. You can have depression from other things like spiritual issues, past lives, getting derailed from your spiritual mission, you know. Some people get depressed because they have a lot of stress.

Me: Yeah, and stress can sure mess with your libido, too.

Erik: That’s one thing I mean by having a lot of fucked up shit in your life. Mental illness can be from a genetic predisposition, and it can be something that’s created in the body because of what you’ve experienced in your life that you’ve reinforced. Your reaction to experiences can literally change your DNA, and that can change your brain chemistry. A lot of times there’s this and the genetic thing going on.

Me: Really? Change your genes? I didn’t know that. How interesting.

Erik: We don’t have scientific proof, but look at twins. You can see they change as they get older. One might get depressed; the other might not. One might get fat; the other might not. It’s all based on what you emotionally hold on to and how you process your emotions, and how your experiences affect your emotions.

Me: Well, what’s the spiritual basis for a loss in libido?

Erik: It’s to remind us that we’re all one. What happens when you’re sexually intimate with someone or even with yourself, you’re connecting to a oneness, and that oneness creates that overwhelming sense of joy. And here’s a really cool one—

Robert (laughing): He’s so excited!

I chuckle.

Erik: It reminds you of vulnerability. If someone is going to stick their –

Robert: I’m not going to use the words he uses.

Me: C’mon, It’s okay.

Erik: –big dick inside of you, that requires a lot of trust, and trusting requires you to be vulnerable.

Me: Yeah. You have to have emotional trust, and you have to let down some of your boundaries. That can be scary or at least uncomfortable.

Erik: It’s not just about being physically vulnerable; it’s about being emotionally vulnerable, too.

Me: Well, that’s what I just got through saying!

Someone’s not listening to their mama. Some things never change.

Me: So, what do people do if they have a problem being emotionally trusting and vulnerable?

Erik: It can be complicated. Sometimes it involves talking to your partner, being emotionally honest with them, telling them what it is you’re afraid of. If you don’t know why, communicate that to them in an honest way. Ask them for patience, but, at the same time, don’t be afraid to move forward. A good way to become comfortable with intimacy is to allow your partner to give you a massage with no expectations of sex. That relaxation that you’re seeing coming from that other person creates chemicals in the brain that helps you bond with them.

Me: Touch is important.

Erik: Very.

Me: If your libido is repressed because you don’t trust the other person, then you need to stop and ask yourself, “Why don’t I trust him?” Look at the relationship itself. Is your partner constantly belittling you and making you feel less than you are? You need to bring that shit up to them. If they refuse to accept responsibility and change, then it might be time to move on. Sometimes you need to go through therapy to help you reattach to your sense of empowerment after you’ve detached from that relationship.

Me: Well, I guess a lack of a sense of empowerment can do a number on the libido!

Erik: Ultimately, that’s what the loss of anything involves. That sense of empowerment might be attached to something that no longer is or something you don’t even see. Detachment can do it too because, say, for instance, you’ve attached yourself to so many negative things that finally you’ve built it up to a critical mass that eventually you just shut down. Then you become completely detached from everything. You become numb.

Another libido buster.

Erik: You can get to the state where you don’t even now you’re feeling loss. That’s fucked up. It’s the closest thing to being in purgatory. It’s a sense of nothingness. Feeling nothing.

Me: I guess some of the loss of libido can come from being told your not worthy as a child, or…

Erik: It can come from lots of places, Mom, society even. I don’t know why, in warm weather, we have to go around wearing clothes! C’mon. Of course I can see some of its purpose like to protect you from sun damage or whatever, but that’s not the reason society dictates that we should wear clothes in public. Clothes were originally for protecting our bodies, but now it’s allowed us to become ashamed of our bodies.

Me: There’s that lack of emotional vulnerability again.

Erik: Yep. And society continues to create rules that perpetuate the repression. We think society is trying to protect us with these rules, but sometimes that “protection” is repression.

Me: Like what rules?

Erik: Look at the “war on drugs.” I could have benefited from things that are illegal while I was alive.

Like his tics.

Erik: Whenever you approach anything from a perspective of control, it involves removing choice, in general, and dictating to others what you think they should do. When you create that absence of choice, people end up obsessing over it, and this momentum builds up. “I can’t have that. I can’t have that. Well I want to have that.” How many times do you tell a kid, “Don’t touch that hot stove—“

Me (laughing): And that’s the first thing they do!

Erik: You pique their curiosity, and that creates a lot of challenges. That’s where some components of addiction come from. Being told you can’t. Being told you don’t have a choice. Then when you give yourself that choice, you often judge yourself for it. You never really learn to moderate. So, leave the morality out of it. Morality is subjective. It’s up to the individual. Wars on things are basically about resisting and resisting causes things to persist. Resisting something is usually at the root of suffering.