Endre’s Questions

Dear Elisa,

I discovered your beautiful blog “Channeling Erik” about ten days ago.  It is a real blessing and service that you and your dear Erik are providing the world.  Thank you for doing it.  Please accept my deepest sympathy for all the heartache you and your family have had to endure.  It always distresses me to learn of other parents who have lost children.  My heart goes out to you!!  Like you, we we were inducted into the terrible fellowship of grieving parents when our precious only son, Antal passed suddenly and unexpectedly via a self-induced accident on November 12, 2006.  He was 11 years old and passed just 11 days away from his 12th birthday.  (The numbers 11 and 12  seem to be frequently associated with Antal and incidents involving those numbers are one of the ways he sometimes will show his presence.)  Adding insult to injury, he was laid to rest on our 20th Wedding Anniversary.  (Sigh!)  Being a highly spiritual person – one who has always been interested in metaphysics, the spirit world, and occult philosophy – I was better prepared than most to cope with his passing.  But, of course, I don’t have to tell you that despite all that, his loss was devastating.  Antal was my only son and my best pal.  Thankfully, we have somehow survived and I have (to date) collected nearly 200 pages of stories of comforting communications from Antal.  Perhaps, like you and Erik, he and I are writing a book together.  I am eternally grateful for his help in getting us this far.

We also still have three wonderful daughters and their presence in our life has helped sustain us through the ordeal.  My oldest daughter, Csilla, had a very direct conversation with Antal’s spirit presence the day following the accident and he conveyed to her how sorry he was for all that had happened.  I think it was simply his time to go, although one thing I miss is knowing what went through his mind causing him to do what he did.  Unlike you, I have never been blessed with a vision or even a dream of my precious baby boy following his departure.  It’s as if he simply vanished at that fateful moment.   I’m told he has come in dreams but since I seem to sleep so deeply, I have no awareness of his visits.  Given what I have learned of the “other side” (both from “Channeling Erik” and the many other books I have immersed myself in), Antal and Erik already know one another, which is probably how I found my way to your blog in the first place.  Perhaps they snowboard together!  🙂   That sounds like something Antal would be doing.  Maybe Erik can nudge Antal to find a way to appear to me someday.  I hate the idea of having to wait all the way until my last days to see him again.

You can see a photo of my precious Antal at my photography website: http://www.endresphotos.com/-/endresphotos/gallery.asp?LID=&cat=35616&pID=3&row=15&photoID=7236137&searchTerm= (Parenthetically, you will notice that I added a sort of “spiritualized” background to those photos of Antal.  I’d be honored to do something like that for a photo of Erik if it would bring you comfort.  If so, just send me a high quality jpeg of your favorite photo of Erik and I’ll happily do that.)  There are other photos of Antal there, as well as photos of our girls.  In case you are curious to know a bit about me, just click on the “Bio” tab at the top.  As you will see, I have always been a concert violinist and more recently, a photographer.  (One odd thing is that no matter how many photos I have taken since Antal’s passing, he has never shown up as an orb in any of them.)  I also do a lot of creative work with photoshop.  I have been channeling (for lack of a better term) a series of illustrations for a children’s book called “Eva and the Magic Umbrella” which is a story for small children and bereaved parents – meant to bring comfort after the loss of a sibling / child. The odd thing is that I don’t know the plot of the story yet – I only get moved to make an illustration for it every now and then.  You can see the whole series of them here: http://www.endresphotos.com/-/endresphotos/gallery.asp?cat=121210&pID=1&row=15 A very dear friend of ours is David Mamet and he has enthusiastically promised to write the text of the book as soon as I figure out the plot line (which would probably insure it’s publication).  I think it could be very healing for a lot of youngsters and their parents.  If you have a moment, I’d be very curious to know what you think about it.

It seems that with the interconnectedness of the net, a great spiritual awakening is in the offing.  I am reminded of the Richard Dreyfuss character in “Close Encounters” who, seemingly randomly, makes contact with the space aliens and then becomes obsessed (along with all the others similarly contacted) with finding a way to “Devil’s Tower” in Wyoming.  Similarly, I feel that some of us who have lost our precious children may be part of a much grander design to bring forth a higher spiritual awareness.  You and Erik are certainly in the vanguard of that and I, too, feel tugged in that direction with my music and photographic artwork.  Maybe we are all meant to be in contact with one another and that by doing so, the synergy of our collective abilities and energy will help facilitate something wonderful for the entire world.

Two other things:  1.) Like you, my wife is a physician – an ER doc.  2.) In the year after Antal passed, I put into my performance repertoire the “Elegiac” piano trio by Tchaikovsky which is a piece of music entirely unique to the world of chamber music.  Into it, Tchaikovsky poured out (maybe, exorcized is a better word) the grief and lamentation he felt upon the passing of a dear friend of his – the pianist Nicholas Rubenstein.  I have a recording of a live radio broadcast performance we did of it and if you might enjoy hearing it, I’d be delighted to send the CD to you.  If you enjoy classical music, you may find it very healing.

I have read on other blogs a complaint from bereaved parents that no one can understand what they are going through.  I have always prayed that no one I know should ever be able to understand, because only a parent who has endured such a loss can fully understand it, and I wish that on no one.  There are too many of us already.  Not a day has passed yet that I haven’t wept a few tears, at least.  I send my prayers for your continuing strength, for that of your dear family, and for the ongoing blossoming of your spiritual relationship with your dear Erik.

With my own love and blessings,

Endre

Channeling Transcript

Me: Okay, I was recently contacted by this delightful man, Endre. His eleven year-old son, Antal, died suddenly. Endre is such a wonderful and loving father, and Antal seems to be an amazing soul, so this loss is very painful. Was this an accident, Erik? Was this a suicide?

Erik: It was an accident, Mom. It was. I’ve met Antal, and boy is he a sweet kid. He really, you know, he just didn’t get it.

Me: What was he trying to do?

Erik: Well, he was actually, you know, he was kind of toying with the idea of death, but not in that sense. He was not really thinking. He heard about this game kids play to pass out, flirt with death. Remember how me and Michelle would play that game lots of kids play to make each other pass out?

Me: Hmm. Vaguely. I think that was going around when I was a kid, even.

Erik: Often times, young kids do think about death-like experiences. They’ll think of dying but have no concept of what that means.

Jeannie: I can remember when I was a kid, I would stand on our back porch, and I would think about jumping off of it and killing myself, but I mean I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t depressed, I was none of that. I was just, you know—

Me: Because we’ve been through so many deaths, it’s just not a big deal to us when we’re young? Is it just so hard for kids to see through the eyes of an adult who’s been entrenched in the illusion of human experience longer?

Jeannie: Yeah, exactly.

Me: Was this his destiny?

Erik: No. Again, like me, it wasn’t his time.

Me: Oh, no.

Erik: You know, I’ve seen him, but I’ve not interacted with him much yet. He’s in a good space. He’s resting off and on, cuz the whole thing kinda surprised him. It was pretty traumatic for the little dude when he realized what had actually happened. It wasn’t that way with me so much.

Me: So he was pretty stunned?

Erik: Yeah, because there was no intention there. He didn’t intend to really harm himself. So he’s in a place of beauty where he’s resting, playing, getting his bearings. I guess that’s the best way to put it. He’s doing great though. He’s still acting like an 11 year-old kid. It’s like his growing up has been put on hold as part of his therapy and healing. So he likes playing a lot, you know, games but also sports.

Me: Sure.

Erik: But I’m going to take him under my wing really soon, Mom. I look forward to that. He’s so cute. It’ll be like having a little bro over here. He’s got a lot of friends already, so tell his dad he’s not lonely at all.

Jeannie: I’m finding this fascinating, because I’m finding out so many things that I didn’t know.

Me: I know, me too! It’s all so amazing, isn’t it?

Jeannie: Oh, yes, it certainly is.

Me: Now, does Antal have any messages for his Dad or anyone?

Erik: Right now, I can’t get to him. He’s in one of his resting periods.

Me: Now, did anything happen, uh, he went to somebody’s bar mitzvah right before that. Did anything happen there that set this all in motion?

Erik: Not specifically. He was getting these ideas from friends before that.

Me: Oh, okay.

Erik: The father had no friggin idea, though. He is a very loving, sweet guy. He had no idea, and it all happened right under his nose, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Nothing. I know this weighs on him.

Me: Yes, of course it does.

Erik: Well, Mom, just tell him that I’m going to help take care of the little guy. I’ll try to teach him how to some forward and manifest himself to the family.

Me: Manifest how?

Erik: You know, dreams and stuff. Everyone has their own special way to send messages. Like, me, I like the whole smell thing, but I do other stuff too.

Please enjoy Endre’s talents in this link, because I think they will give you comfort and joy. They’re truly beautiful: http://alturl.com/j4mru

Apparently, Endre has received many ADCs (After Death Communications) from Antal. His calling card seems to be leaving little Airsoft BBs around for his father to find. Now, Endre has an entire jar full of them–all fluorescent lime-green. I mention this because after this reading, I also found an Airsoft BB in my kitchen. It was that same color. Now that might not strike you as odd, given the fact that I have so many kids, but the entire kitchen had just been remodeled. I’m talking everything: floors, countertops, you name it. No long ago, it was a pristine shell with no hint of its prior form or contents. As I was wiping up a spill near the refrigerator, I heard something scatter near me on the floor. I figured it was a tiny ball bearing from one of the new cabinet slides they just installed, but I couldn’t see anything. Every time I  wiped, I heard it scatter. Finally, with determined focus, I did find the source of the noise. It wasn’t the ball bearing as I expected. It was that Airsoft BB. When I spoke to Endre Sunday, her reminded me to Antal’s calling card and I put two and two together. I believe he was trying to thank me for relaying the channeling session to his father. Perhaps he was also letting me know that Erik and he are now together, and that he is honing his skills of manifestation as Erik had promised.