My heart goes out to this next woman, because she and I share similar tragedies. Both our boys took their own lives very recently at the tender age of 20. Let’s see if Erik can help console and heal Essie as he has helped me.

Essie’s Question

Hi Elisa,

Thank you for being willing to help with the Fair, I am copying Kristina XXXXX, our WONDERFUL coordinator extraordinaire. Thank you also for getting in touch and offering to ask Erik through your medium friend about Charles. He was 20 when he died. He was born in London, we have been living in NY for the past 15 years. I would like to know why he did it, when did he decide, how long had he been thinking about it, had he already decided when he saw his sister on Monday afternoon? Was it because of the girl he fancied? Was he depressed? When did he start being depressed? Did he know how much I/we loved him and love him still?  How was he able to get past security to the 10th floor? Why didn’t he say anything to us in his note? Why did he not mention me or his sister?  I wan to be able to speak directly to him, how can I do this? Is it him who does the CD thing in the car and who rang the door bell once? What does he think of the movement I am creating? Is there anything he wants us to know, to do? Does he know how much this hurts and how much his sister is struggling?

Is it too many questions? I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU.

Love,
Essie

My Response

Thanks Essie for all the information. I’ll have to tell you it brought tears to my eyes to see the photo of your darling boy…the happiness in his eyes.

I don’t think I’ll be able to get to all of these questions but I’ll try. What about asking these:

How is he?

Why did he do it?

Has he tried to make contact and how?

Who is there with him?

Channeling Transcript

Me: Getting tired, Erik?

Erik: Me? Shit no. I can go 24/7!

Me: Well I know it takes some energy, so I appreciate you hanging on for me.

Erik: Sure.

Me: Okay, now the next question comes from Essie. She lost her 20 year-old son, Charles, who recently when he jumped from a building. First, she basically wants to know how he is.

Kim: So we’re asking how he is?

Me: Yes.

Kim: Okay, let’s ask Erik.

Erik: Oh, Mom, he’s very, very, very upset. He’s very repentant. It wasn’t really his destiny to die this young. He is hugely remorseful and wishes he could have it all over again, you know, turn back time. His destiny was to become a doctor, and he would have helped a shitload of people if he had just taken the time to rethink his decision. And now that he’s not on the earthly plane to help them, they’re going to have to find someone else to help. Charles is saying this is making it difficult for everybody. Some of them won’t be healed because he checked out early, and they won’t find someone else to help. He knows there is no way he can make it up to these people. He’s so sorry, Mom. He’s pleading for forgiveness from everyone. He said he was very depressed, and he was very anxious about school. He felt inadequate and incapable of moving forward and doing what he was supposed to do. Oh, and he also says there was a girl involved.

Me: Okay.

Erik: It feels like unrequited love, but he says, “It was no one else’s fault but my own.” Now Mom, when he says there was a girl involved, he doesn’t mean she pushed him…

Me: Oh God, no. I understand what he means.

Erik: So basically is was depression, anxiety, fear about the future and fear of being a disappointment. Wait. He’s telling me something. (five second pause) Oh, he says his mother didn’t push him or anything. His mother did nothing but give him love, support and encouragement and affection. He loves her and wishes he could have time to come back, enjoy her cooking and sit at the table with her and thank her for her cooking and just sit there with her in the physical. He wishes he could do that and he can’t .

Me: Is there anyone there with him?

Erik: He’s shaking his head no and he says he chooses to stay alone. I spent some time talking to him and connecting with him, because I connect with anyone you’re gonna ask about so they’ll be ready to communicate.

Me: That’s a good idea!

Erik: He says he chooses to be alone. He wants to chastise himself. It’s not really like sulking. I’m trying to get him to get into therapy here, but he’s too busy ripping himself a new one, you know?

Me: Yeah.

Kim: He’s a darling young man.

Me: It sure seems like it. Oh, and she also wants to know if Charles needs anything from the family.

Kim: Very good question! You know, I love that question, because often human beings ask, “What can be done for me?” Erik, any requests from Charles?

Erik: Yes, he needs them all to forgive him and pray for him. They can just visualize him in their heads and speak to him, telling him they forgive him and love him. He needs to know that he’s forgiven, but he’s been afraid to ask, because he feels he doesn’t deserve it. Mom, tell Essie that was the big issue while he was in the physical. He felt undeserving.

Me: Has he tried to contact them, Erik?

Erik: Yes he has…to apologize like coming to them in dreams. He’s showing me a young woman that would have been about his same age like a sister or a girlfriend, brown hair, brown eyes. He’s also contacted his Mom. And the father…is the dad not in the picture?

Me: Oh, I don’t know.

Erik: Oh, okay. But he’s saying he’s tried to communicate with them. Mom, include this in your blog. Tell the readers any time they wanna communicate with a departed loved one, all they have to do is talk with them themselves and they’ll talk back!

Me: Good, okay…

Erik: Oo! Wait a sec, Mom. He has something to say to his mom. He says, “Tell Mom that now I’m willing to listen. And before when I was on the earthly plane, Mom would talk and I would be like, ‘Blah, blah, blah, blah.’” He’s showing himself with his hand like making that gesture like someone’s talking, “blah, blah, blah.” He says he always loved his mom, but she used to repeat herself a lot, and it used to frustrate and annoy him, but now he’d give anything to be able to sit and listen to her. He realizes that it was just his immaturity. He says, “It wasn’t her. She’d just repeat things if she thought I wasn’t listening, and I wasn’t! I wasn’t listening! Mom was right to do that.” He promises that if she or anyone else in the family talks to him, he’ll listen and show respect.

Essie’s Response

Dear Elisa,

Thank you for this. Of course the LAST thing I want is for my son to be upset there. The only comfort I got came from thinking that at least he is at peace now. I can’t bear to think that he is not and that he is ripping himself up. Oh my God, Oh Charles please don’t, we love you no matter what, we know you did your best. Please darling, don’t worry, please

My Response

Dear Essie,

I’m sorry he’s upset too, but I think that Erik will help him, and if you all send him love and forgiveness, he’ll be fine. Sometimes suicide is one’s destiny, sometimes it’s not. But he has no pain and is going through what he needs to go through to evolve and get past this. If, after you read the full transcript, you have any other questions you want me to ask next time, I will. Or if you want to schedule a phone session with Kim and speak to your son directly, that might help both of you. You might also know of a psychic medium who channels over where you live. I just want you to know that there’s nothing like really hearing what your child has to say and having a conversation with him. Remember, he promises to listen this time!

I wish I could have said that this was his destiny and that he’s surrounded by loved ones completely blissful. Since you will always be his mother, you can still help him. I think it’s interesting (and so did Kim) that you asked if he needed anything from you/the family. She says she never gets that question. I get the feeling you were picking up on his angst as only a mother can. Funny how maternal love knows no boundaries, even the one separating life and death.

If you need anything, I’m here for you. Just call.

xo

Elisa

Essie’s Response

Thanks Elisa and Erik. I have been holding Charles in my arms all afternoon and he feels better.

Love to you,  Essie

Naturally we’d all like to hear that our deceased loved ones are happy and without regret in their new home in the afterlife. As is the case with Charles, sometimes they’re miserable and burdened with guilt and remorse. Remember, Erik went through this phase just after his death, but now he has adjusted fully. I believe Charles will do the same. After all, no one in the spirit world is judgmental. We only judge ourselves, some more harshly than others. Accountability is an important step for spiritual evolution if we can push past the guilt and use our mistakes as steppingstones for progress. I know now that, with Erik’s help and with the prayers of forgiveness and love from Charles’ close-knit family, he will emerge from this cocoon of guilt and learn to love himself again.