Lot’s of things to share with you guys before I post another Ask Erik question later on today. First, something really cool happened this morning. On the way to work or school, my daughter, Michelle usually stops by with Arleen, my first and only grandbaby, so I can mercilessly kiss on the two of them and so she can borrow Annika’s hair straightener. Arleen is now two years old and today is huge: first day in daycare. Anyway, while I was making a cup of coffee for Michelle, Arleen, starts running around the kitchen screaming happily. Not atypical for her, but she kept looking behind her like someone was chasing her. Since she and Erik were so close, I thought I’d ask, “Who is it, Arley?” She looked at me matter of factly, occasionally glancing toward the den, and said, “Is Erik.” (She doesn’t believe in using pronouns yet.)

This brings such comfort, because children her age have yet to be “contaminated” by any sort of indoctrination or suggestions. Out of the mouth of babes…

I knew, then, that Erik was in the room playing with her as he loved doing when he was “alive.” I couldn’t see him, but she certainly could. She HAS NEVER mentioned his name unless I prompt her with his picture on my phone. Maybe he was wishing her well on her big day?

He may have also made an appearance to set my mind at ease about Linda’s email yesterday, like, “No worries, I’m here, and I wanna be here. I wanna do this. You have to believe in this, Mom.”

By the way, I would like to thank all of you for your feedback and advice. As you may have seen from my replies to some of your comments, I figured out why Linda’s criticism hurt me: Lately, I’ve been using the blog as a little cave, an escape from reality that keeps me from remembering, from grieving, from mourning. This is very selfish of me, and I’m not at all proud of this cowardly behavior. So I will be brave and set aside some time now and then to grieve. I promise to keep the purpose of this blog simple and pure: helping Erik, helping others, and healing myself through these two. Love you all!