As always, I have a little preamble. Sorry. As you all know, it’s been a tough time of the year for me. Lot’s of “firsts.” First birthday since Erik’s death, first anniversary of his death, first anniversary of his burial (today.) And of course, I’ve been expressing that grief in the blog, not only to purge and heal but also to share so other bereaved members can know they are not alone.

Erik’s death is nothing special in the grand scheme of things, I know. I don’t want to come off as selfishly wallowing in self-pity, because that’s not the case here. After all, for centuries, people have lost loved ones. So when I express my grief, I want to make sure all of you know that your losses are not  minimized or trivialized. Every son, daughter, parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, sibling or friend you have lost is like a dagger to my heart as well. I’ve come to love you all so deeply, and watching you hurt is agony. But let us hold our “lost” loved ones to our heart and remember, in our grief, the love we have for them. For without that love, the grief would never have reared its ugly head.

I know I grieve deeply. I know some of you do as well. But each of us would probably not trade our days of sorrow for a life without the love we feel for those we miss.

And now let the three-ring circus begin!

Jason’s Email

Hi Elisa,

Hope the new week finds you well. I’ve had quite the spiritual rocket ride over the past several days. Just when I thought things were quieting down, I went on a roller coaster ride with the new guide.

But on the Erik front; Yesterday I talked to Robert for the first time via the phone for a couple of hours, and I could actually feel Erik in both of our heads at the same time. It was very strange. I asked him, “So Erik how does it feel to be in the middle? and he stuck his tongue at me told me to shut up. And Robert said, “are your ears burning? And he kept making comments in the middle of our conversation. It’s like I could feel a light partial connection to me, and sense that his attention was divided elsewhere. Part with me; part with presumably with Robert, and part actually in the phone signal. It’s hard to describe. Also a couple of times we both heard him say the same smart-a$$ comment or imagery at the same time. Or do something like, He’d look at my mental imagery while I was describing something to Robert and then make a really crude comment about it to Robert. For example I was talking to Robert about a vision Erik once showed me about his future trance channeling. In the vision Roberts guides were holding his spirit to the side so Erik could then merge with Robert and speak through him, and that’s when Erik said to Robert… Oh, you’d like that, me inside you!  And I was in shock and said, OMG, you are such a perv. and he’d say, your just jealous cause I am such a stud. He’d show me the image of him putting his hands and arms behind his head and preening with a smug look on his face. And Robert would say, “OH, I guess you’re having a little bit harder time letting go the ego than we thought.” And then he’d make a crinkle snarly nose face at us and hush up and blush. Another time, Robert and I were talking about out of body experiences and he said he had a spiritual place that he liked to go to. It had a tree in the countryside. And Robert was describing the tree and Erik piped in and said, “It needs a swing” and showed me a tire swing. Or Robert would tell me something and I would say, “wow-how come you never showed me that” and he would say, “like I would want to listen to you have another panic attack”.  And we talked a little bit about past lives and what they mean. I said something along the lines to Robert about it was weird to think that I’d had past lives as a girl.. or something like that.. And then Erik said, “You had the hair for it. Purrrrdiee hair!” I just sort of sat there in shock and told Robert what he said, and we laughed at it. I know this makes it sound like he was a total pest, but that’s not the case at all. It was a lot of fun. And for the most part he was really good. Oh, and another funny moment. Earlier in the morning I was having left over spinach and artichoke pizza-cold for breakfast with coffee. And as I was sitting there, Erik kept saying “NASTY! That is so gross.. nasty dude, I can’t believe your eating that.” And I was telling it to Robert and laughing and Robert was saying that while I was telling it to him, Erik was making gagging sounds. We also compared notes about how Erik hovers around and complains about what kind of movies we watch. And if we pick something he doesn’t like he pouts and starts pacing back and forth. Or hovering over our shoulders saying things like. Pick something good this time.

I LOVE Robert! He is so cool. And I love his (southern) accent.

Oh, so after seeing the latest video you posted of Erik on the blog, I was totally spazzing! Like I told Robert, OMG! — it’s the voice in my head on video!  That sounds funny saying that to you. But I mention it because I do at times, contemplate the way my guides and Erik sound in my head. And I sit there pondering things like… hmmmm… does he really sound like that? And then when I saw the video, I was like,,,ahh! It’s him! It’s the big voice in my head.  (Right now as I type he’s laughing saying I am such a dork).

Other than that it was just the usual Erik, casual social contact, brief spiritual advice, wry comments, movie time, etc. Yesterday afternoon I was watching a movie. A Chinese flick called The Curse of the Golden Flower. Erik said, “Finally something good! ”  There was a little kung-fu in it, and I don’t know what chair he was in; I couldn’t see it, but it was in the middle of my living room on some level because he was sitting in it…. And all of a sudden he’d jump up and throw his arms in the air and squeal, “NINJAS!” and make these ridiculous “Whaaaa, whoosh, Hah!” waving his arms around in Karate chops. Jen was standing behind him giggling like crazy with her hand over her mouth.  And then a slow dialogue scene would come on, and he’d say -“UGH,, boring,” and then get up and leave, only to come back during the next fight scene, and say, “that is sooo FREAKIN-cool!”

The last “Erik Moment” of the weekend was last night. He said, “Mom’s  asleep; I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing, before I go see Robert.” He asked how I was doing after contact with that new guide, kinda elaborated on info I found out and talked about spiritual stuff and then was gone. I had another question and kinda focused really hard and said, “Wait, I have another question.” And he said, “You don’t have to shout; I can hear you.”  There was a ton more of course, but it’s so hard to remember all the details as a lot of it pertained to what I showed you earlier in the weekend. I thought I’d share this with you though as I thought you might get a kick out of it.

Love.

Jason

Robert’s Reply  to My Request to Post This

LOL!  I love this!  I’ve no problem with posting it…though I do have to add something Erik was telling me about the latest video on the blog (the motorcycle one)…he picked on himself…said ” Jeez, what a dork!” and “why did I keep scratching my ass so much?  Guess I was shaking a few dingle berries loose!”. Needless to say he had me laughing hysterically.  I love how vulgar he is!!  If you think Erik’s comments are too much, you can leave it off…he’s telling me as I write this “Post it!  Post it!”.  Now Erik, if Mom doesn’t think it’s appropriate, then what momma says goes!  He’s doing the pouty lips, Bambi eyes thing now.  heehee

Love you lots sweetheart!

Robert