Like many grieving parents, I voraciously read anything that might provide some evidence that Erik lives on in some other dimension. I just finished reading a particularly intriguing book, We Don’t Die: George Anderson’s Conversations With the Other Side, written by Joel Martin and Patricia Romanowski. In it, radio DJ, Joel Martin, follows the now...
A Visit to Mariana
Mariana is a young lady who I feel is an important part of our family. She came to America with very little command of the English language, so I volunteered to tutor her throughout most of her grade school years. To help ensure her success, I also encouraged her to come to our house after...
Small Miracles
Losing a child, particularly to suicide, is gut wrenching. It lends an entirely new perspective on the term, “a broken heart,” because every morning when I wake up and realize that ‘yes, Erik is still dead; it wasn’t all some horrible dream,’ I feel like a dagger has been plunged to the hilt into my...
Erik’s Visit to Aunt Laura
My younger sister, Laura, always had a special connection with Erik, perhaps because they shared some of the same struggles, perhaps because they shared the same philosophy of life. Whatever the reasons, she was particularly devastated by his death. I’m certain Erik sensed her grief and came to comfort her one day in the wee...
Already Gone
Weekends are always really tough for me. During the week, I have plenty of distractions like work, carpool and the many menial chores required of running a household. Weekends are quiet. There is time to reflect. Time to mourn. Time to miss. Time to long. Time to wonder what Erik’s future might have held had...
A Visit to Big Sister
So many people, including family members and friends, have reported visitations from Erik that are vivid, tangible and accompanied by a certainty that his presence is real. Here’s an email his big sister, Kristina, sent me recently: “Erik came to me yesterday just as I was falling asleep. My eyes were half-closed so you know...
Little Black Bird
I met a remarkable woman last night who shared a story that will send chills down the spine of even the most recalcitrant skeptic. Like me, Becky lost her 20 year old son to suicide and we share many of the same struggles. She recounted many stories, but this is one of my favorites. As...
Death and Channeling, Part III
Through the medium, Kim O’Neill, Erik shared volumes of information about death, but I wanted to start by letting him know that, although I would like to channel him on my own, my grief makes it difficult to have the quiet mind necessary to hear him. Here’s his response: “I’m just going to have to...
Stacy
Erik always had a deep crush on a girl named Stacy. He met her when they were both around 14 years old. She was beautiful and kind and saw the lovely soul my son was even when he was in the gangly stage with a pimply face. Sadly, she moved with her family to the...
Death, Continued
I’d like to dive in to where I left off in the first channeling session with Erik. As he mentioned, after he saw his body and voiced dismay at the “mess” he created and his concerns about how we would react when we found him, he escaped to Norway to visit his grandfather, Bestefar. I’ll get...
First Channeling
Grasping for contact of any sort with a lost loved one is natural. Years before, I would have considered channeling through a medium a little wacky, great fodder for jokes, even. But when Erik died, things I once doubted became urgent lifelines for me to cling to in hope. However skeptical at first, when I...
The Candle
My eldest daughter, Kristina, shared an interesting experience with me that occurred a few weeks after Erik died. She was up late studying, as medical students are notoriously known to do. As part of her ritual, she lit a candle in honor of Erik and placed it on her desk by her study materials. WIthout...
First Hug
Let me start by saying my writing abilities have suffered greatly since losing Erik. I’m sure they’ll come back, but simple decisions like paper or plastic are hard enough. You can only imagine how challenging the construction of a decent sentence might be! But bear with me, please. Soon after the funeral, we decided to...
Ghost Hunting
Although these first sightings offered some comfort, I was far from convinced. My inner battle between science and mysticism would prove to be a difficult game of tug-of war for several months. Nevertheless, I longed for proof of his existence and for confirmation that he was “alive” and at peace. In my desperation, I decided...
Our First Sightings
Many believe that the soul is a form of energy that, in accordance with the laws of physics, can neither be created nor destroyed. This is a comforting thought, because it offers hope me that Erik still lives somewhere in that form and that he has simply shed his body as though it were a...
Erik’s First Visits
After Erik’s death, my entire family and I plunged into a state of numbness. We were shaken by a grief so profound each minute seemed like an eternity. Making the funeral arrangements from choosing a casket and burial plot to deciding what clothes he should wear in his perpetual sleep was an agony that clawed...